#this feels like me trying to write a slow burn

[houseofaegon]

SKINNY DIPPING pt. 2 ✩ Wally Clark

Pairings: Wally Clark x Fem!reader

Warnings: +18 SMUT MINORS DNI. very slow burn. semi-public sex, unprotected p in v, teasing, heavy sexual tension, explicit dirty talk, praising, degradation, skinny dipping in a public pool, possesiveness/jealousy, light choking, rough gripping & mandhandling, overstimulation, wally being a cocky little shit and very possessive, kinda dom!wally, risk of getting caught, begging, breeding kink. wally whimpering???? (god have mercy)

Summary: For what feels like an eternity, Y/n and Wally have been nothing more than just friends. but that changes one reckless night when they decide to cross skinny dipping off their "100 things to do before crossing over" bucket list. Teasing and meaningless flirting turn heated, and the tension that has been simmering between them finally snaps. Under the moonlit water, boundaries blur, and their friendship is completely wrecked, in the best possible way.

Author's note: this is part 2!! Part 1 is linked below <3 And part 3 soon! I had to take a moment to breath and relax while writing this cause hello????? god jesus have mercy I'm literally gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. Also, thank you so much for the love on part 1!! it made me soooo happy to see you guys liked it <3333 it means the world to me!

Word count: 4043

Song choices: lose control - teddy swims, tear you apart - she wants revenge, closer - nine inch nails, flawless - the neighbourhood, do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys, TiO - zayn, again - noah cyrus.

masterlist. part 1. part 2. part 3

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"So...Skinny dipping?" his lips brushed against your ear, his voice now a low whisper.

"Skinny dipping," you repeated, lips curving into a playful grin. "Just don't get all excited to see me naked, Clark," you teased, pushing him lightly. "And hands to yourself," you added.

He raised an eyebrow, his eyes darkening a little. He couldn't help but smirk as well. He was excited at the thought of seeing you like that.

"I make no promises," he replied with a teasing grin, his raspy voice sending shivers down your spine.

"I mean it, Clark," you huffed, rolling your eyes, though the warmth you felt bubbling up inside you betrayed the annoyance you were trying to fake.

He leaned in again, his face mere inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. "Can you blame me, though?" his voice dipped lower, rougher, almost a whisper. "You look so damn pretty, I can't help but flirt a little."

Your pulse quickened, but you refused to let him notice it. You pushed him back again, keeping the smirk on your lips. "Yeah, yeah," you drawled, tilting your head. "Am I the first girl you've ever said this to? Or the fourth? Or ninetieth?"

He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. The truth was, Wally had a certain reputation, and everyone knew it. His charming smiles, teasing grins, and how he made girls feel like they were the center of his world… He never meant any of it. None of the girls he flirted with ever came close to you, to how you made him feel.

He pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes. His gaze held yours, unwavering.

"None of those girls were you," he said quietly. "And none of them meant anything to me."

With a dramatic sigh, you place your hand over your forehead, pretending to swoon. "Oh, Wally! How you make my heart race!"

His laugh was loud, unrestrained, the kind of laugh that made your stomach flip every single time you heard it. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he nudged you in the stomach. "Oh, shut up," he said, grinning. "You're such a dork, you know that?"

"And you love it," you shot back, tilting your chin up in defiance.

Wally didn't answer immediately. Instead, his smirk faded slightly, and it made your chest feel too tight. He took a step closer again.

"Yeah," he admitted, voice just above a whisper. "I do."

The teasing had completely vanished now. Your throat suddenly felt dry, your pulse hammering in your ears. Something in his eyes told you that he wasn't playing anymore.

Your mouth opened, but before you could say anything, he lifted a hand, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered just a second too long, his touch light, but it managed to burn right through you.

He knew exactly what he was doing. The way he spoke, the way his gaze bore into you, the slight grin on his lips—it was all too deliberate, too calculated, and it made your pulse quicken. His eyes didn't lie, it was pure desire that clouded them and his judgment too. Wally had always been a flirt with everyone, and you were no exception. There had always been playful and flirty banter between you, but it was nothing more than a game. Nothing more than playful teasing. This? This felt different, it felt real. Lines were getting blurry, and your body was reacting in a way you never thought possible.

"You're trouble, you know that?" he murmured, his thumb grazing your jaw.

Your breath hitched. "Takes one to know one," you whispered back.

His eyes darkened, and for a second, you thought he was going to close the distance between you completely. Your heart slammed against your ribs, anticipation running through every nerve in your body.

With a smooth, effortless motion, Wally pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside like it was nothing. He knew you were watching him, and you did. You watched him, you couldn't tear your eyes away, hypnotized by his every movement, by the way the moonlight caressed his skin, his body gleaming under the soft light. You had seen him shirtless plenty of times before–he loved to work out and flaunt what he'd earned. But tonight? Tonight felt so much different. 

Your heart skipped a beat as you let your gaze travel down his chest, the way his abs tightened as he took off his shorts, kicking them aside, leaving only his boxers on. "You coming?" his voice was casual. But the way his eyes roamed over you, the way his smirk depended as he noticed the way you couldn’t keep your eyes off him, it was anything but innocent. "Go ahead," he added, nodding toward the water. "Get in first. I'll be right behind you."

You folded your arms over your chest, tilting your head as you arched a brow. "Oh, I see what you're doing," you mused, propping yourself on your hip. "You want me to strip first so you can get a show, huh?"

Wally's grin became bigger, shameless, and cocky. "And if I do?" he murmured.

"Then that makes you predictable," you shot back, tilting your head trying to feign disinterest.

His smirk didn't waver. If anything, it grew bolder. "Or just a man with very good taste," he countered smoothly, stepping closer. "But, hey, if you're too shy—"

Before he could finish, you grabbed the hem of your white shirt and pulled it over your head, letting it drop carelessly onto the ground. His smirk vanished. It was only for a second, but you saw it, the way his throat bobbed, the way his gaze dropped, drinking every inch of you. Satisfaction curled in your stomach.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips. That cocky smirk? Gone. Replaced by something you couldn't quite place, something darker, deeper. Something raw.

You stepped toward the pool, your back to him, deliberately ignoring his presence, pretending you didn't feel the heat of his gaze burning into you. "You were saying?" you teased, sliding your skirt down inch by inch, slowly, letting it slip past your thighs and pool at your feet before stepping out of it. "What was that about me being too shy?"

A smirk tugged at your lips as you tilted your head just enough to catch a glimpse of him over your shoulder. Victory. He wasn't smirking anymore—his mouth slightly parted, eyes darker, stance tense like he was barely holding himself together. You had him right where you wanted him.

But you weren't done. If he wanted a show, he was gonna get one.

Keeping your gaze locked on his, you let your hands drift behind your back, fingers working the clasp of your lace bra with infuriating slowness. You could see the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his chest rising and falling faster.

The straps slid down your shoulders, the cool night air hitting your skin, making your nipples harden instantly. And still, you watched him, letting his gaze devour you. Letting the bra drop, you let yourself bask in the way his pupils dilated, the way his hands clenched, every single vein and muscle in his arms tensing like he was fighting every instinct to move towards you and touch you.

And he was. God, he was fighting it, hard. Every demon inside him was telling him to grab you, to pull you close to him, to feel your skin against his, to claim you.

With a wicked grin, you toyed with the waistband of your lace black underwear, sliding it down, teasing him slowly. "Cat got your tongue, Clark?" you chuckled. Before he could answer, you turned your head and slipped into the pool.

When you submerged in the water, disappearing from his view, he let out a sharp exhale, the sound more like a whimper. As you resurfaced, he could've sworn he stopped breathing. You were everything he had ever wanted, and to see you there, bare, wet, and exposed? It was almost too much for him to handle.

His hands clenched into fists, his entire body trembling with the effort to restrain himself. His gaze didn't waver—it never left your body, exploring every inch of you.

You looked mesmerizing, the way the moonlight made your wet skin glow underneath it. He was desperate to touch you, to run his hands over your perfectly soft skin.

You ran your hands over your wet, slicked-back hair, your gaze on him. Wally stood there, frozen, eyes dark and fixed on you.

It was intoxicating, the power you had over him.

"What happened to all that smooth talk, Clark?" you teased, tilting your head, a playful smirk on your lips. "You suddenly forgot how to speak?"

That did it.

Wally's jaw locked, his hands clenched at his sides like he was physically restraining himself. For a second, you thought he might actually fight it—might crack a joke, roll his eyes, brush it off like he always did, return to his usual cocky self.

But then, without hesitation, he shoved his boxers down and kicked them aside. His eyes never leaving yours.

Your breath caught in your throat.

He stood before you, the hard lines of his body tense with restraint, every muscle in his stomach flexing as he fought for control. And then there was the unmistakable evidence of his arousal, thick and hard, a blatant display of everything he wanted—everything he wanted from you.

A shiver went down your spine, heat pooling in your stomach as your eyes slowly flickered up to his.

He didn't say a word. He just stepped forward, smoothly, deliberately, like a predator hunting its prey, before dipping into the pool. The water rippled as he disappeared beneath the surface. And then, he surged back up, breaking through the water right in front of you, so close that droplets splashed on your face, so close that his lips nearly brushed yours as he exhaled a deep, slow breath.

You inhaled sharply, instinctively swimming back, but his hands were already on your waist, locking you in place. Holding you right there, right where he wanted.

“What happened to all that smooth talk, sweetheart?" he repeated your exact words, the term of endearment making your stomach flip. His voice low, almost teasing. "You suddenly forgot how to speak?"

Your pulse hammered against your ribs. You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to smirk even as every nerve in your body buzzed with anticipation. This was dangerous, you knew it, and he did too.

But neither of you seemed to care.

"You think you're real cute, don't you?" his voice was low and rough, every word seemed to vibrate through your chest as his lips hovered just above yours, his breath warm against your skin. His voice made your knees weak.

You grinned, hands sliding up his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. "I don't think," you whispered. "I know."

A low growl rumbled in his throat. And suddenly, you weren't smirking anymore. There wasn't a single hint of playfulness in his eyes. They were filled with pure and raw heat. Dangerous, Hungry. His grip tightened, pulling you flush against him. Beneath the water, skin met skin, heat against heat. It was undeniable now, impossible to ignore, impossible to run away from. Everything you tried to ignore, every line you'd both tried so hard not to cross.

Everything was collapsing in on itself.

This was happening.

This was real.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me." His voice was thick with frustration, like he was holding back every ounce of self-control. Every inch of him trembled beneath your hands, his chest rising and falling too fast, his fingers digging into your waist. The struggle was written all over his face. He wanted you. You could see it. Feel it. He was trying so hard to hold back.

And God, he wanted to. You could feel it in the way his body tensed against yours, in the way his jaw clenched, in the way his lips hovered right there, barely an inch away, like he was dying to close the distance. Dying to taste you.

You inhaled sharply, your heart slamming against your ribs. What the hell were you doing?

Stripping in front of him? Letting him see you like this, bare and exposed? Teasing him? Knowing exactly what it would do to him?

It wasn't like you at all.

It wasn't like either of you.

This wasn't the playful banter you'd always shared. It never got further than simple jokes and meaningless teasing. This? This was territory neither of you had ever ventured into. There was a thin, fragile line. You wanted to cross it. You needed to. But the fear... the fear of losing everything you had—the fear of losing him—kept you hanging on, just barely.

Wally swallowed hard, his fingers tracing slow, agonizing patterns against your skin. "You're dangerous," he whispered again, lower this time, rougher, as if the words were ripped straight from his chest. His hands tightened against your hips beneath the water, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for hesitation—begging for it, for a reason to stop.

But there was none.

The words slipped out of your mouth before you could even think. "Am I?"

His breath caught a subtle tremor in his jaw. "Don't tease me," he growled. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

But you did.

And so did he.

His forehead dipped to yours, his breathing uneven. Your hands slid up, curling around the back of his neck, fingers threading through his wet hair. His eyes squeezed shut like he was trying—really trying—to fight it.

But there was nothing left to fight.

You’d both lost this battle a long time ago.

"You know this changes everything," he whispered, his voice raw, breaking over the words. His thumb brushed your skin, so painfully slow, like he was memorizing you, like he was savoring this moment.

Your chest tightened. You knew he was right. You knew this was it—the point of no return.

But it was too late for second thoughts.

Your lips parted, breath shaking. His eyes darkened at the sight of your open mouth, the sounds of your shaky breath making his pulse quicken. He was undone. Completely undone. All his hesitation, his willpower, his good intentions. Gone. He was drowning in you.

"Maybe it should," you whispered.

A sharp inhale. His hands gripped you tighter, and his forehead dropped fully against yours. "You have no idea what you're saying."

You let out a soft, breathless laugh. "Oh, I think I do."

His head lifted just enough for your eyes to lock, his pupils blown wide, lips slightly parted. His mouth was right there. Just a little more...

"You don't fucking get it," he rasped, his hands sliding up, thumbs brushing the underside of your ribs. "If we do this—if I kiss you—I won’t be able to stop. I won’t be able to just pretend it didn’t happen. You know that, don’t you?”

Your pulse slammed in your throat, and you nodded, barely breathing.

His fingers traced slow, lazy circles against your skin, like he was trying to soothe himself, trying to keep his composure. But you could feel it—the tension radiating off him, the heat rolling off his body even beneath the water.

"What if I don't want you to stop?" you whispered.

His eyes darkened, the grip on your waist tightening, pressing into your skin, making you groan. You were sure he was going to leave bruises, but you didn’t care. 

His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking as he sucked in a sharp breath through his nose. "You think this is a fucking game?"

“A little," you replied, a playful smirk dancing on your lips.

Wally let out a strained, bitter chuckle, but there was no humor in his eyes. No playfulness was left in the smile that painted his face. “You wanna keep playing?” he murmured, his voice rough, teasing, but there was an edge to it now, something deeper, dangerous. “Because I can play, sweetheart. But you better be ready for what happens when I stop holding back. When I stop pretending, we can go back to how things were. When I stop fucking pretending we're just friends.”

With a growl, he pushed you through the water until your back hit the edge of the pool. The impact and the feeling of the cold tiles sent a sharp shiver down your spine, making you gasp. The way he mandhandled you with such ease, his grip so possessive, the way his body caged you in completely, it made your head spin. 

His lips brushed yours—just barely. But it was enough to make your fingers clutch at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin, like he was the only thing keeping you standing.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered against your lips, pleading. “Tell me you don’t want this.”

You should say it. You should push him away, laugh it off, pretend like this was just another game, another moment of playful teasing between best friends who had spent years toeing the line.

But you didn’t.

Because you couldn’t.

Instead, your fingers crept up his neck, nails tracing the hard line of his jaw, tightening in his wet hair, pulling him closer, your body pressing against his beneath the water. You felt the way his breath stuttered, the way his fingers dug into your ribs, his thumb caressing your breasts, like he was barely hanging on.

Your lips brushed against his as you whispered, “I dare you.”

A sharp inhale. His hands tightened. "Don't," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. "I swear, if you keep looking at me like that—"

"Like what?" you interrupted, faking innocence as your fingers trailed down his chest, nails scraping over his hard muscles.

His breath left him in a shaky exhale. "Like you want this."

Your lips curled. "Who says I don't?"

A low groan rumbled from his chest, his restraint hanging by a thread. His hands slid down slowly, gripping, teasing, like he was testing himself—testing you. “You don’t get it.”

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I do," you whispered, your mouth just barely on his, so close he could feel your words on his skin. "You're the one who doesn't."

His jaw ticked. "Don't push me," he warned, his voice a painful growl. 

You tilted your head, dragging your nose against his. "Why? Afraid you'll give in?"

"Afraid I won't be able to stop."

A wicked smile danced on your lips as you leaned in, your mouth grazing the corner of his. Not a kiss—just a taste. "You know what I think?” you murmured, your teeth just barely scraping against his lips, leaving the most devastating kiss there. “I think you’ve thought about this. A lot.”

“Tell me I’m wrong,” you taunted him, your voice nothing but a breath, a challenge, a plea. "Just tell me I'm wrong, and we'll stop, we'll forget any of this happened, we'll just—"

His patience snapped.

His hands slid down your waist, gripping your thighs before he hoisted you up, forcing your legs to wrap around him. A choked gasp escaped your lips as you felt all of him, thick and hard, pressing right against your soaked core. A groan tore from his throat, guttural and desperate, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, bruising you. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered. “You keep grinding on me like that and I fucking swear–” His words cut off into a sharp inhale as you grinded against him again. 

You rolled your hips against him, dragging your slick heat over the hard ridge of his cock, and his entire body tensed.  

A sharp, wrecked groan tore from his throat, his grip turning bruising as he slammed your body harder against the cool tile. His mouth was on you in an instant—biting, licking, claiming—his teeth scraping your jaw, his tongue lapping at the spot he just marked, soothing it just to do it all over again. 

“Tell me to stop,” he rasped. 

You swallowed hard. The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say them.

Stop.

No, you wouldn’t. You didn’t want him to stop. You wanted him to keep going, to touch you right where you needed him the most, to make you his, to claim you, to possess you. You wanted to feel his lips on yours, on your entire body. You needed this, the release–you needed him. 

“Say. It.” His groan was raw, wrecked. His hands ghosted up your thighs, slow, teasing, so agonizingly close to where you needed them. “Tell me to fucking stop.”

You stayed silent. 

His lips curled into a dark smirk. “That’s what I fucking thought.”

His hands flexed, gripping your thighs tighter, dragging your hips flush against him, grinding against your core so hard and deep it made your breath catch.

“Fuck, you feel that?" he groaned, his voice rough dripping with need. "Feel how hard you make me? You did that, sweetheart. You."

His lips brushed your jaw, teasing, before his teeth sank into your skin—not enough to hurt, but enough to make you whimper. His tongue soothed the spot, only to bite again, harder this time.

"You don't think I've noticed? The way your eyes are on me when you think I'm not watching? The way your whole body reacts to me?"

His fingers dug into your hips, hard, making you gasp, dragging your body against him once more, letting you feel every single inch of how much he wanted you.

Fuck.

"You've been playing a dangerous game, baby," he growled. "Playing dumb, acting like all those little teases, all those flirty smiles, all those times you touched me without meaning to—like they didn't mean anything."

A dark chuckle rumbled from his chest.

"But we both know that's not true, don't we?" His grip became stronger by the minute, his fingers slithering lower, teasing the edge of your stomach, dancing along your skin with agonizing precision. He knew what he was fucking doing, he wanted to drive you insane, the same way you drove him to the brink of insanty.

"You know it's not true. Deep down, you always knew exactly what you've been doing to me."

And he was right.

Every glance, every touch, every smile, every almost—you’d been testing him, taunting him. Watching, waiting, wondering how far you could push before he snapped.

And now? He was breaking apart.

His fingers inched lower, making your entire body arch against him, desperate, aching, starving for more.

Please, please, please.

A gasp tore from your throat as his fingers finally found your aching clit, pressing down in slow, agonizing cirles.

Oh, fuck.

Your head fell back against the cool tile, your breath coming out in ragged pants. This was different. He was different. This wasn't the Wally you were used to—your best friend, the sweet, flirty, cocky, Wally who loved teasing you just as much as you teased him.

This was someone else, a completely different version of him you'd never seen before. Dangerous.

"I think you know how much I fucking want you," he groaned, his forehead pressed against yours, his eyes dark, desperate, completely feral with need. "And you've been pretending you don't feel it, too."

You swallowed hard, but no words would come out. What could you say? That he was wrong? That this was just another game?

It wasn't. Not anymore.

You'd crossed every line, and there was no going back.

Your entire body trembled as his fingers moved harder, faster, making your entire world narrow to the feeling of his fingers against your aching core.

Your nails dug into his shoulders, your breath coming in gasps, but you didn’t answer.

You couldn’t. Not when you were falling apart in his hands.

Not when you felt so good pressed against him.

So fucking good.

"And now, baby?" His tongue brushed over your lips, slowly. "Now you're gonna find out exactly what happens when you push me too fucking far."

[sinful-sonnet]

Office Hours

Professor! Joel Miller x Female Reader Slow Burn | Age Gap | Power Dynamics | Eventual NSFW | W/C: 3k

You weren't supposed to be here. Not like this, sitting across from him in the dim glow of his office lamp, fingers twisting in your lap as he looked over your latest essay with that familiar furrow in his brow.

Joel Miller was nothing like the other professors on campus. He wasn’t one for pointless lectures or pretentious intellectual posturing. He spoke with purpose, moved like he belonged in a different world—one of sweat and hard labor rather than academia. And unlike the men your age, he carried himself with something heavier. Experience. Strength. A quiet intensity that made your stomach twist in ways it shouldn’t.

You’d signed up for his class purely on accident—another elective to fill your credits. You hadn’t expected to spend the semester shifting in your seat, hanging onto every word that left his mouth, heat rising to your cheeks when his gaze landed on you. And now, alone with him, the reality of your situation pressed against you like a vice.

He cleared his throat, flipping the paper closed. “You can do better.”

Your stomach dropped. “I—”

“I know you can,” he interrupted, leveling you with a stare that made your breath hitch. “You’ve got a sharp mind. This feels like you were rushin’ through it.”

You swallowed. He was right, but the way he said it—low, rough, with just a hint of something softer—made your pulse race for an entirely different reason.

“I’ve just been... distracted.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. He leaned back in his chair, broad arms crossing over his chest. “That so?”

You hesitated. This was a dangerous game, toeing the line between student and professor, between innocent and something else entirely. But you’d seen the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t watching. You weren’t imagining it—the fleeting glances, the way his fingers sometimes gripped his coffee mug a little too tightly when you spoke.

You nodded, voice softer now. “Yeah.”

His gaze didn’t waver. For a long moment, the only sound in the office was the hum of the old heater against the quiet night outside. Then, finally, he exhaled, shaking his head.

“You should go.”

Your heart dropped. “Professor Miller, I—”

“This ain’t somethin’ you wanna start.” His voice was gruff, but there was no real anger in it. Just restraint. “Trust me.”

And maybe you should have left. Maybe you should have taken the out he was giving you. But instead, you stood, slowly crossing the room until you stood just beside his desk. Close enough that you could see the flecks of silver in his beard, the way his hands curled into fists against the polished wood.

“Maybe I do,” you murmured.

His breath caught. For the first time since you stepped into his office, you saw it—the crack in his resolve, the way his pupils darkened as his gaze flickered down to your lips.

But then, just as quickly, he turned away, exhaling sharply through his nose. “Go home.”

You hesitated, then nodded, stepping back. You didn’t miss the way his fingers twitched like he wanted to reach for you.

You left, heart pounding. But you knew one thing for certain.

This wasn’t over.

You sat at the very back of the lecture hall, your legs crossed, trying to appear unaffected by his presence at the front of the room. Professor Miller paced in front of the chalkboard, his voice steady, firm, explaining the intricacies of physics with that deep, commanding tone that made your stomach clench.

But you weren’t listening.

Your hand was hidden beneath the desk, fingers gripping the hem of your skirt before slipping between your thighs. You exhaled slowly, barely parting them, just enough to let your fingers trail over the sensitive flesh underneath. A quiet thrill ran up your spine, heat pooling low in your belly as you let yourself indulge in the forbidden.

He had no idea.

Or did he?

You risked a glance up. Joel was standing by the board, writing an equation, his broad shoulders shifting beneath the fabric of his button-up. You could see the way the veins in his forearms flexed as he moved, the strong lines of his hands as he gripped the chalk.

Your fingers pressed a little deeper. A little slower.

God, if only he knew. If only he’d look up, see the way your breath was coming faster, the way your knees trembled just slightly as you bit your lip to keep from making a sound.

His voice cut through your thoughts. “Everyone understand so far?”

A few murmured affirmations from the class. You barely registered them. Your fingers were slick now, the friction sending jolts of pleasure up your spine, making it harder to keep still.

Then—

His gaze flickered up. Right at you.

Your breath hitched, the tension tightening in your stomach, coiling hot and tight, ready to snap—

And then the bell rang.

A chorus of movement surrounded you. Chairs scraped against the floor, bags were slung over shoulders, and the hush of the classroom broke into murmurs as students began to rise, shuffling toward the door.

The moment was ripped from you just as quickly as it had built, the pressure in your core left unresolved, frustratingly close yet so far away. You swallowed hard, withdrawing your hand as heat flooded your cheeks.

Joel looked away abruptly, his shoulders stiff, his fingers gripping the edge of the podium with enough force that his knuckles turned white.

He had to get out of here. Fast.

But not before he risked one last glance at you.

And what he saw nearly ruined him.

Your pupils were blown, your lips parted, and you were breathing just a little too fast. He knew.

And he knew this wasn’t over.

Joel clenched his jaw, his fingers tightening around the edge of the podium as he watched you gather your things. His body was wound tight, heat creeping up his neck as he tried to steady his breathing.

You had no idea what you were doing to him.

Or maybe you did.

That thought alone made it worse.

He’d seen your flushed cheeks, the way your lips parted just before the bell rang. That dazed, needy look in your eyes when you realized the moment had slipped away from you. And fuck, he’d almost let himself watch for too long—almost let himself acknowledge what you had been doing under that desk.

Almost.

His grip on the wood tightened as he let out a slow breath through his nose, forcing his gaze away from you. Students were still filing out, shuffling past him, their voices a dull murmur against the rush of blood in his ears. He needed to leave. He needed to get the hell out of this room before he did something stupid.

But then he felt it.

Your presence.

Lingering.

He didn’t look up right away. He couldn’t. If he did, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his expression neutral, to keep himself from giving too much away. But he could sense you standing near the exit, hesitating.

Waiting.

His fingers flexed against the podium before he exhaled sharply and finally forced himself to meet your gaze.

It was a mistake.

Because the moment his eyes locked onto yours, his control cracked.

There was something different in the way you looked at him now. A quiet challenge. A hint of satisfaction beneath the lingering frustration of being denied what you had been so close to achieving.

Joel swallowed hard.

He should say something. Dismiss you. Tell you to go home, like he had in his office that night.

But the words wouldn’t come.

Instead, the silence stretched between you, heavy and unspoken.

His heart slammed against his ribs as his body betrayed him, his mind flashing back to the sight of you in that chair, shifting, your breath catching. He shouldn’t be thinking about it. He shouldn’t be thinking about you like this.

And yet—

“Professor?”

Your voice was soft, but there was a dangerous edge to it. A knowing lilt.

His throat went dry.

He should walk away.

Instead, he nodded once, forcing his voice to remain steady. “Yeah?”

You hesitated for only a second before stepping closer—too close. Close enough that he could see the way your chest rose and fell with each breath. Close enough that he could smell the faintest hint of your perfume, something warm and sweet that curled around him, sinking into his skin.

“I… had a question about today’s lecture.”

Joel clenched his jaw. He knew exactly what you were doing.

And he was letting you.

Fucking idiot.

He glanced around, making sure the last of the students had left before answering. “What’s your question?”

Your lips curved—not quite a smile, but close.

“I was hoping you could explain something… in more detail.”

His pulse hammered.

This was bad.

This was really bad.

But instead of shutting it down, instead of telling you to leave, Joel exhaled slowly and stepped back, nodding toward his desk.

“Close the door.”

And just like that, the last thread of his restraint unraveled.

You hesitated for only a moment before you did as he said, reaching back to gently push the door closed. The click of the latch echoed in the empty lecture hall, sending a shiver up your spine.

Your pulse was a drum in your ears, anticipation and anxiety twisting together as you turned to face him. Joel stood by his desk, his fingers curled against the wood as if he needed to physically ground himself. His jaw was tight, his gaze unreadable—but there was no mistaking the heat behind his eyes.

God, you wanted him.

Hell, you needed him.

But the moment you took a step forward, another thought hit you, cold and sharp.

What if someone found out?

What if the higher-ups heard whispers of this? What if a student saw the way he looked at you, the way you lingered after class? What if someone suspected something and reported him?

The thought made your stomach drop.

Joel had worked here for years. He had a reputation—respected, intelligent, firm but fair. He wasn’t the type to abuse his position, to cross lines he shouldn’t. If anyone so much as hinted at misconduct, it could ruin him.

It could ruin both of you.

Your throat tightened.

This wasn’t just some reckless crush on an older professor. This was dangerous. A risk. And yet, as much as the fear gripped you, it didn’t lessen the ache that had taken root deep in your core.

You wanted this.

You wanted him.

But was it worth the consequences?

You licked your lips, heart hammering. “Professor, I—”

He tensed. “Don’t.” His voice was hoarse, like he was barely holding himself together. “Don’t call me that right now.”

A shiver rolled through you.

He was struggling just as much as you were.

And that only made you want him more.

Still, you forced yourself to take a breath, to ignore the heat pooling low in your belly. “This is dangerous,” you murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

Joel’s eyes darkened. “I know.”

He should be the one to stop this. To tell you to leave, to walk away before either of you did something you couldn’t take back.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he watched you. Waiting.

Letting you decide.

Your fingers curled at your sides. If you left now, if you walked out that door and never pushed this again, he would let you. He’d pretend nothing had happened, pretend he hadn’t seen what you were doing under the desk, pretend he hadn’t felt his own restraint slipping when he looked at you.

But if you stayed—

If you took another step forward—

There would be no turning back.

Your breath came out unsteady as you swallowed hard, your heart caught between reason and desire.

The air in the lecture hall was thick, heavy with unspoken tension. Your hands felt clammy at your sides, your heart pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears. You weren’t sure if it was from fear, from need, or from the undeniable weight of this—whatever it was you were about to do.

Joel sat at the edge of his desk, his broad arms crossed, watching you. His expression was unreadable, his jaw tight, his fingers gripping at the edge of the wood like he was forcing himself to stay put.

You could tell.

He was waiting.

“Alright,” he finally said, voice rough. “What’s the question?”

You swallowed.

“What?”

He tilted his head, his dark eyes unwavering. “You said you had a question about today’s lecture.” His voice was measured, calm—too calm. Like he was testing you, pushing you, but not crossing the line himself. Not yet.

He was going to make you do it.

If you wanted this, if you really wanted this, it would have to be your move.

Not his.

Because if he made the first move, if he gave in first, there’d be no coming back from it.

Your breath hitched as you realized exactly what he was doing.

Giving you an out.

If you wanted to pretend this was nothing, if you wanted to walk away and never touch this line again, he was letting you. He wouldn’t push. Wouldn’t ask. Wouldn’t even let himself admit what had been simmering between you both for weeks now.

But if you gave him an excuse—

If you so much as hinted at what you really wanted—

He wouldn’t hold back.

Your fingers twitched at your sides. You felt too hot, too aware of the space between you. Your thighs clenched together instinctively, but you knew that wouldn’t help anything.

Your mind was screaming at you to be smart, to walk away, to leave before you got him into something he couldn’t escape.

But your body?

Your body was already making the decision for you.

Slowly, carefully, you stepped closer.

Joel didn’t move, didn’t flinch. His only reaction was a small, sharp inhale through his nose, his fingers flexing against the desk.

Your stomach flipped.

This was it.

Your move.

Your choice.

What the hell were you going to do?

Your mind was spinning, every rational thought tangled up in the thick pull of him, of the weight of his gaze, the way his fingers flexed against the desk like he was barely holding himself back.

You could still walk away. You should walk away.

But instead, you inhaled deeply and forced yourself to focus, to think of something—anything—that could give you a reason to stay.

A question.

Something that would force him to touch you.

Your lips parted, and the words spilled before you could stop them.

“I… I didn’t quite understand how force and acceleration relate in a real-world scenario,” you murmured, voice quieter than you intended. “The equation makes sense, but I can’t seem to feel it. I think I need to see it applied physically.”

Joel’s brows furrowed slightly, but something flickered in his eyes—something dark, something aware.

You were treading dangerous waters, and he knew it.

Still, he didn’t stop you.

Instead, he pushed off the desk and took a slow step forward, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes roamed over you, sharp and assessing, like he was deciding whether or not to call your bluff.

“You wanna feel it,” he echoed, voice low and edged with something dangerous.

You swallowed. “Y-yeah.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Just stood there, watching you, his gaze dragging over your face, your parted lips, the way your fingers fidgeted at your sides.

Then, without a word, he reached past you.

You sucked in a breath as his arm brushed against yours, his warmth seeping through your sleeve. He grabbed a textbook from the desk, flipping it open absently, pretending like this was just any other lesson.

But it wasn’t.

You both knew it.

“Alright,” he said, voice rough as he turned a page. “You remember Newton’s Second Law?”

You nodded quickly. “Force equals mass times acceleration.”

He hummed, his gaze flicking to yours, unreadable. “Right.”

Then, before you could react, he shifted closer—so close that your back bumped into the edge of a nearby desk. You barely had time to process the way heat radiated off of him before his hand was wrapping gently around your wrist.

Your breath caught.

“This,” he murmured, guiding your hand toward the heavy textbook, “is mass.”

You shivered, the warmth of his palm pressing firmly against yours. His grip was steady, his fingers rough with experience, but he didn’t move any closer. Didn’t push.

He was waiting.

Waiting for you to stop him.

But you didn’t.

Your heart pounded as he placed the book in your hand, his other palm coming up to hover just over your shoulder. Close. Too close.

“Now,” he continued, voice softer, “apply force.”

You hesitated, your grip tightening around the textbook.

He raised an eyebrow, then—so slightly you barely registered it—his fingers brushed against your wrist, guiding you to move.

You inhaled sharply as you lifted the book, feeling the weight shift under your control. Your arm trembled slightly—not because of the strain, but because of him. Because of his hand on you, the way his touch sent shivers up your spine.

“See?” he murmured. “The greater the force, the greater the acceleration.”

You barely heard him. Your brain wasn’t computing physics anymore. The only thing you could process was the warmth of his skin, the way he hadn’t pulled away yet.

How dangerously easy it would be to turn just a fraction, to press yourself fully against him, to close the space entirely.

Joel exhaled slowly. His grip lingered for just a second too long before he finally let go, stepping back like nothing had happened.

But the tension?

It was still there.

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight. “That answer your question?”

You blinked up at him, breathless.

You should say yes. Should thank him and leave before you did something reckless.

But instead—

“Not quite.”

The corner of his mouth twitched, like he knew exactly what you were doing.

And he was going to let you.

Your move.

Joel stared at you.

Not just looked, but really stared—like he was fighting every single instinct screaming at him to stop, to walk away, to keep whatever this was buried deep down where it belonged.

But you weren’t letting him.

You saw it in the way his jaw flexed, in the way his fingers twitched at his sides like he wanted to grab something—wanted to grab you.

And still, he hesitated.

“Go home.” His voice was low, strained, barely controlled.

You shook your head. “No.”

His nostrils flared. “I ain’t doin’ this.”

You stepped closer, closing what little distance remained between you, your voice barely above a whisper. “Please… just show me.”

It shattered whatever restraint he had left.

Joel moved faster than you could process, grabbing you, his rough hands wrapping around your waist as he spun you around, your back hitting the desk behind you with a sharp gasp.

Before you could blink, his large hand was at your jaw, tilting your face up to meet his.

"You wanna be shown?" he muttered, voice dripping with something dark, something possessive.

You nodded, breathless, aching.

He let out a sharp exhale, his forehead almost pressing against yours. "Goddamn it."

Then he kissed you.

No, kissed wasn’t the right word—he took you.

It was rough, unrelenting, his lips hot and desperate against yours, his fingers digging into your waist as if you might disappear if he didn’t hold you still.

You moaned into his mouth, your hands flying up to grip at his shirt, fisting the fabric to keep yourself steady as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping against yours in a way that made your knees buckle.

Joel felt it, because in the next second, he was grabbing the back of your thigh and lifting you onto the desk like you weighed nothing.

Your legs instinctively parted, and he wasted no time stepping between them, his hips pressing into yours, trapping you in place.

“This what you wanted, huh?” he growled, his lips trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your jaw, his beard scraping against your skin in a way that made you shiver. “Wanted to push me until I cracked?”

You could barely think, let alone form words.

“Yes,” you breathed, hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer.

He groaned, gripping your hips tighter. “Shouldn’t be doin’ this,” he muttered against your skin, his lips finding the spot just below your ear, biting down just enough to make you whimper. “Should send you home.”

You shuddered, arching into him. “Then do it.”

He growled, his fingers tightening around your thighs, spreading them wider.

“No,” he muttered, voice raw. “Not after the way you looked at me in that classroom. Not after what you were doin’ under that damn desk.”

His hand slid higher, pushing up your skirt, fingers ghosting over the sensitive heat between your legs. You gasped, your whole body tensing as he pressed his forehead to yours, his breath hot, heavy.

“You wanted me to notice, didn’t you?”

You nodded frantically, your breath hitching.

“Say it.”

You swallowed hard. “I… I wanted you to notice.”

His fingers dipped beneath the waistband of your underwear, barely touching where you needed him most. “And now that I have?”

You were trembling, aching. “Please.”

Joel let out a deep, guttural sound, his self-control snapping like a rubber band stretched too tight for too long.

"Fine," he murmured darkly, his lips brushing against yours.

"Let me show you."

Joel’s hands were everywhere—hot, rough, steady—grounding you against the desk as if he were calculating every movement, every reaction.

"Force equals mass times acceleration," he muttered, voice thick, his lips brushing against your ear as he pressed his body against yours.

You gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders. "Joel—"

"Shh," he murmured, his large hands gripping your waist, positioning you, as if this was nothing more than another physics demonstration. "You wanted to feel the equation, right?"

Your heart slammed against your ribs.

"Th-this isn't what I meant," you managed to stammer, though you both knew that was a lie.

Joel chuckled, a deep, knowing sound, his fingers trailing down your thighs. "Nah, sweetheart, I think it is."

He nudged your legs apart, his grip tightening, anchoring you in place.

"Acceleration," he murmured, pressing a little closer, the warmth of him sinking into your skin. "It’s the rate of change of velocity over time."

You swallowed hard. "O-okay…"

His fingers trailed along your jaw, tilting your face up to his. "So if I apply a constant force…" His hips shifted just slightly, making your breath catch. Joel positioned himself at your entrance "The acceleration increases. You feel that?"

You bit your lip, your entire body thrumming under his control.

"Yes," you whispered.

Joel hummed in approval, his breath warm against your cheek. "Good. Now, mass…" His hand traveled back down, gripping your thigh. "More mass means more resistance, right? Takes more force to move it."

He lifted you slightly, effortlessly adjusting you against the desk.

"And since you're the mass in this equation, I’ve gotta work a little harder, don’t I?"

Your breath stuttered.

You knew he wasn’t talking about physics anymore.

"Joel…"

He smirked, his fingers trailing back up, gripping your hips. "You wanted me to show you, darlin’. I’m just makin’ sure you learn somethin’ from it."

His voice dipped lower, raspier. "So tell me—what happens when you apply a force in one direction?"

Your head was spinning, body buzzing with anticipation. "It—" You swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady. "It accelerates in that direction."

"That’s right." His hands tightened. "And what happens when there’s no opposing force to slow it down?"

You were breathless now, clinging to him as the tension stretched impossibly thin between you both.

"It… keeps going."

Joel’s lips brushed against your temple, a quiet hum of satisfaction rolling through his chest.

"Exactly."

And then—

He moved. Fitting his whole length inside you.

His hands, his force, his body—everything was calculated, precise, deliberate.

Physics had never felt like this before.

You gasped, gripping onto him, feeling every single application of the lesson in real time.

Joel groaned, his voice tight with restraint. "Now you’re gettin’ it."

You didn’t know if you were learning physics.

But you were definitely learning him.

Joel didn’t let up.

His grip on you was firm, steady, as if he was ensuring you wouldn’t slip through his fingers—not that you wanted to. Every breath you took felt heavier, filled with something charged, something that made the air between you almost unbearable.

“You remember Newton’s Third Law?” His voice was rough, edged with something dangerous, something that made your stomach tighten.

Your mind was spinning, barely able to process words as his hands grounded you against the desk.

“I—” You swallowed, your fingers gripping at his shirt.

Joel chuckled, dark and low, his lips just brushing against your ear. “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction,” he murmured. “That means—”

Before you could even prepare, he moved, hips snapping faster, harder, pressing closer, his presence overwhelming.

You gasped, your body instinctively responding, pushing against him without even realizing it.

Joel smirked. “See? That’s reactionary force, darlin’.”

Your breath hitched. “J-Joel—”

“That’s how it works,” he continued, ignoring your attempt to ground yourself. “I push, you push back.” His hands tightened. “I apply force, you absorb it.”

Your stomach flipped. He was making you feel every word, every lesson, in ways that had absolutely nothing to do with physics anymore.

Joel leaned in closer, his breath hot against your neck. “Now, let’s talk about friction.”

Oh, God.

You knew where this was going.

You weren’t even sure you could speak at this point, but Joel didn’t need your answer—he was already moving again, showing you exactly what he meant.

“Friction is resistance,” he murmured, his voice dripping with satisfaction as he demonstrated. “You feel that? The way two surfaces move against each other?”

You definitely felt it.

Your fingers dug into his arms, nails scraping against fabric as you struggled to keep up, to breathe.

“Too little friction,” he went on, his grip adjusting, “and there’s no control. But just the right amount?” His lips hovered over yours, teasing. “It keeps everything right where it needs to be.”

You whimpered, your body betraying you, arching into him before you could stop yourself.

Joel’s smirk deepened.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmured.

Your head spun. Your heart pounded.

You weren’t sure if this was physics anymore or something else entirely, something much more dangerous.

And the worst part?

You didn’t care.

The air between you crackled, thick with unspoken words and undeniable tension, something electric that neither of you could ignore any longer. It surged between you, a live wire waiting for a spark, and Joel was the one holding the match.

He was everywhere—his hands gripping your waist, firm and possessive, fingertips pressing just enough to leave an imprint. His broad frame loomed over you, his presence suffocating in the best possible way. His scent, all musk and faint traces of leather and gun oil, curled around you like a second skin. There was no escaping him, no resisting the gravity that pulled you deeper into his orbit.

“You starting to get it now?” His voice was low, rough, each syllable a deliberate scrape against your fraying composure. The heat of his breath skimmed over your lips, teasing but never quite touching.

You nodded—frantically, desperately.

But that wasn’t enough for him.

“Use your words, sweetheart.” His grip tightened, his fingers digging in just enough to make your breath stutter. The force of him, the sheer dominance in his stance, made your pulse hammer. “Tell me what you learned.”

You swallowed hard, barely able to think beyond the way he felt, the way his body pressed into yours, caging you in like a predator who had finally cornered his prey.

“I—I learned that…” Your voice was shaky, uneven, your thoughts tangled in the suffocating heat of him. But he waited, unwavering, his dark eyes watching, demanding.

Joel wasn’t going to let you off that easy.

“…that every action has an equal and opposite reaction,” you finally whispered, your lips barely brushing his with each syllable.

His smirk was dangerous, a slow, knowing thing that sent shivers down your spine. His grip on your waist flexed, the strength in his hands enough to remind you just how easily he could control this moment, could control you.

“Good girl.”

The praise hit like a physical force, a shudder rolling through your body as heat pooled low in your stomach. Your fingers curled into his shirt, clinging to the fabric as if it was the only thing tethering you to reality. You needed something to hold onto, something solid, because Joel Miller was unraveling you by the second.

He noticed.

Of course, he did.

And he loved it.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, sending a fresh wave of heat down your spine. “Now, what happens when an object in motion stays in motion…” His hands adjusted, sliding lower, pulling you against him until there was no space left between your bodies. “…until acted upon by an external force?”

Your breath hitched, heart hammering against your ribs. He was the external force, the unstoppable force, the immovable object all in one. And you? You were caught in his gravitational pull, helpless to do anything but surrender.

“Joel—”

“That force…” His voice was a growl now, deeper, darker, filled with something that made your entire body thrum with anticipation. His fingers skimmed along your lower back, tracing slow, deliberate patterns before gripping you tighter. “That’s me.”

Your entire world tilted.

Joel moved deliberately, with calculated precision, pressing you firmly against the nearest surface—something solid, something unyielding, just like him. His hands roamed, mapping out every inch of you as if he had all the time in the world. There was no hesitation, no uncertainty, only an unrelenting purpose that made your skin burn with every touch.

His lips ghosted over your jaw, dragging down, teasing, testing. You felt the scrape of his stubble, the warmth of his breath, the lingering restraint that wouldn’t last much longer.

“You still with me, sweetheart?”

Your nails dug into his shirt, your head tilting to give him more, offering yourself up without a second thought. “Yes,” you breathed, voice barely more than a whimper.

Joel chuckled, low and satisfied. “That’s what I thought.”

And then he showed you exactly what happened when an object in motion met an unstoppable force.

The pace was relentless, the heat unbearable. His movements were precise, purposeful, dragging you to the very edge before pulling you right back in. Every sound, every sensation built up, coiling tight in your core until there was nowhere left to go but over.

His breath was ragged, his grip unyielding, his body against yours nothing short of devastating. You felt the tension snap all at once, a wave of heat crashing through you as his own release followed, a deep, shuddering groan breaking past his lips. The feeling of him—hot, pulsing, buried deep—was the final push you needed, sending you spiraling into oblivion.

Neither of you moved for a long moment, the air between you thick and heavy with everything that had just passed. His hands stayed firm on your body, his presence still anchoring you in place, as if he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.

And neither were you.

Because there was no resistance left.

Not from you.

Not from him.

And you both knew it.

The air in the room was thick, heavy with the remnants of everything that had just happened.

Your breaths were still uneven as you slowly came back to yourself, your body still buzzing from the way Joel had taken you apart, piece by piece, like you were nothing more than a lesson he needed to teach—one he made damn sure you wouldn’t forget.

You swallowed hard, willing your legs to stop trembling as you steadied yourself on the desk.

Joel hadn’t moved much.

He was still standing there, broad frame looming, his gaze locked onto you with something dark and unreadable. His breathing was slower now, controlled, but the tension between you hadn’t dissipated.

Not one bit.

You knew this wasn’t over.

Not really.

There was something in the way he was watching you—something unfinished, something that told you this was only the beginning of whatever the hell this had become.

You exhaled shakily, running your hands over your rumpled skirt, attempting to fix yourself before finally forcing yourself to move.

Joel’s eyes followed you.

You made it to the door, your fingers just barely wrapping around the handle when his voice rumbled behind you—low, rough, dangerous.

"Let’s go over another lesson again sometime."

Your breath caught in your throat.

You turned just enough to meet his gaze, your pulse spiking all over again when you saw the way he was looking at you—like he wasn’t done with you.

Like this was far from over.

Your fingers tightened on the handle.

You knew you should leave. Walk away. Pretend like you hadn’t just let your professor turn a physics lesson into something else entirely.

But instead—

Instead, you smirked.

A slow, knowing, daring smirk.

And then you opened the door and walked out.

But as you disappeared down the hallway, your mind raced, your body still thrumming with the aftermath of his hands, his words, his control.

And one thought lingered in your mind:

You were definitely coming back for another lesson

[nubiawrites]

chapter ten

Pairing: Aaron Pierre x Black Original Character

Warnings: Slow burn. 18+. Smut. Sex. Talks of emergency contraception.

Summary: Iriye is forced to face the music at the table read for Paradise Lost but Aaron isn't ready to fall back.

Notes: Better late than never. I wanted to write more of their... lovemaking scene but I will consider releasing outtakes from this story. Enjoy! Drop comments in my ask box, under this post or reblog. I love the responses.

MASTERLIST

Aaron was used to tense situations. Being an actor meant long days and nights. Different personalities collaborated and clashed with each other. This was a given in every life situation. He had seen his fair share of it, but being in a situation like this was never fun.

Things were a bit tense at the official table read for Paradise Lost, and it hadn't even started. Aaron could sense it, the energies in the room clashing a bit. Aaron saw Tamara had her hands on her hips whenever she talked to someone, her voice low, but her eyes looked frustrated. She was trying to be polite, but there was a tenseness.

Nelly was too jittery. The younger woman always had a pep to her step and a joke on her lips, but she was working overtime. He could tell she wasn’t as cheerful but more on the move, her hair in a messy bun rather than the loose waves she kept together. 

“Here’s your script,” Nelly said to Aaron, not stopping for their usual small talk.

“You drunk anything that isn’t dark, Nelly,” Aaron stated, trying to get a chuckle. 

“I don't like that accusation,” Nelly stated before she sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you,”

“No, you’re fine. My apologies,” Aaron gave her a small smile. Nelly returned it, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “If you want, I can grab you something if it helps,”

“Thank you, but no thank you. I don’t want to leave Tamara and Iriye alone together,” Nelly said before leaning in. “They are not talking,”

“Isn’t that good?” Aaron asked.

“Aaron, that’s the worst thing. They’re doing this weird passive-aggressive attitude with each other,” Nelly rambled on.

“I have a feeling that I might be the cause of that,” Aaron admitted.

“Yeah, I know. Tamara was freaking out when she realized Iriye was at your place. I didn’t tell her anything. I figured Iriye would,” Nelly shrugged.

“Well, I thought Iriye would, too,” Aaron said. Nelly looked around. 

“Walk with me to get something not dark from craft services?” Nelly asked him.

Aaron nodded, and Nelly quickly put the rest of the scripts for the cast at their proper seats.

They wandered over to the craft services area set up for the table read. Nelly immediately grabbed a bottle of water, causing Aaron to chuckle.

“To think I was going to offer my great advice giving skills to you about Iriye,” Nelly rolled her eyes before beginning to look over the snacks.

“Forgive me,” Aaron said througha chuckle. “I’m sorry. I mean it,”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Nelly pointed a pretzel at him before eating it. She took her time chewing and then proceeded to wash it down with some water before talking. “Iriye has always kept her cards close to her chest,”

“You’re preaching to the choir,” Aaron said, grabbing his own trail mix from the table.

“But once she opens it, Iriye really will give endless love and devotion. I’ve seen it,” Nelly admits.

“With Jay?” Aaron asked. “I kind of figured that they were an item,”

“Yeah but I don’t think she was ever in love with him. And she ended that before she could find out,” Nelly whispered.

“But she was able to be around you guys with him. She never even told you and Tamara about me,”

“I been knew you two were a thing. I didn’t need her to tell me. Hell, I think I knew from the time we all met in the meeting with Davis,” Nelly stated. Aaron raised one eyebrow at him, and she gave him a look. “Please. Iriye went all cool and collected. That’s her tick for nerves. And you’re a great actor. But not when you have the upper hand on someone. You’re too smug,”

“You really notice everything?” Aaron stated. Nelly raised her bottle.

“If you want to be the best assistant, you gotta notice everything and the cracks in between,” Nelly stated. “Iriye is a complicated woman. Delicate underneath it all, but she’s scared to show it,”

“I know. I get why. She told me about her dad leaving…” Aaron said. Nelly paused while sipping her bottle of water.

“Wait, she talked about her dad?” Aaron could see the gears working overtime in Nelly’s head.

“Yes, she did,” Aaron was about to ask something else when he heard Nelly’s phone ring.

“I’m sorry. I gotta take this,” Nelly said, whispering sorry before she got on the phone. 

Aaron returned to where his script was, grabbing his pen and adjusting his glasses. As he was beginning to highlight his lines, he felt the chair beside him creak, and he looked to see Vivian.

“Crap, I’m sorry,” Vivian said apologetically, adjusting her bag on the back of the seat. 

“No, you’re good,” Aaron said, adjusting himself so she had room to sit. She gave him a small smile before she took out a pencil case and pulled out pens of different colors, arranging them in a way that made Aaron curious. 

“What?” Vivian asked, a nervous smile making it to her face as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Aaron pointed out her pens. “There’s a method to my madness,” 

“No, we actors have ways we handle things,” Aaron raised his hands in surrender. 

“How are you handling all of this?” Vivian asked. “You know, thrown into the spotlight, and it’s full-blown on you,”

“It’s something,” Aaron admitted. “I was asked to host events and things. And I keep asking myself, why me?”

“It can be a lot,” Vivian nodded. “Doing all the extra when all you want to do is just act,” Aaron could hear something in her words. “Can I give you some advice? One actor to another,”

Aaron sat up some more, ready to learn.

“Know what you’re willing to fight for and what you’re ready to say no to,” Vivian said. “I wish I had learned that a long time ago. Fortunately, I had some good people in my corner, along with some who cared more about the money than my well-being.”

Aaron nodded, knowing of Vivian through his sister’s tabloids and gossiping when they were younger. Vivian seemed to smile through it all, even when people didn’t have the nicest things to say from what he saw.

“When you set what you will and will not take, it makes it harder for people to shake those boundaries,” Vivian explained. “And trust me, with the level of fame you’re about to experience once your show comes out, you’re gonna need it,”

Aaron nodded, taking it in as Vivian checked her phone, a smile taking over her face. 

“It’s my boyfriend. Every time I have a first table read, he always sends me a picture of our dog with a cheesy message,” Vivian explained, showing him the picture. Aaron smiled as he saw an actor he had seen before in something, holding the dog up and a message underneath the photo.

“Adorable dog. He takes after his father,” Aaron joked, Vivian chuckling.

“He does,” Vivian said. “Honestly, it’s nice to know after this and some meetings, I have Gabe and Charleston to go home to,” She said. “They make the boundary testing all worth it because, at the end of the day, I’m living my dream and going home to them,”

Aaron thought about those words, looking toward where he felt eyes on him. He saw Iriye, seeing her in the flesh for the first time in a week. She looked frazzled, and he just wanted to smooth the worries from her head. He would kiss her until she talked to him about the most random things in her life. Aaron would be happy to bask in her presence.

Iriye turned her attention back to the production assistant helping with the table read, not wanting to bud into whatever Aaron and Vivian were talking about. They were too close for her liking, but what could she do? Yell at the two romantic leads of the film she wrote and produced. Tell Vivian to back off of Aaron because he was her man. 

But Iriye couldn’t do that because she didn’t want to open up that can of worms. They never explicitly said what they were doing with each other during the three months they had been in each other’s lives. That’s where it got tricky because Iriye was comfortable with what they were doing: going on mini dates at each other’s place before sleeping with each other. Late nights in the grocery store or early mornings trekking through the used bookstores Iriye loved. Eating food that was going against his Lanterns fitness regime and watching him try to work it off with his Lanterns regime at the home gym in his apartment. 

Iriye just loved being around him. She loved him. It felt too soon to say that. The moment she realized she was really into Aaron was when he dropped her off at her apartment after picking up the morning-after pill. He seemed calm, but she could tell he was agitated. But he still offered to stay with her, having read the side effects on the box as they sat and waited to figure out the next steps of their plan.

“It says side effects include nausea and vomiting,” Aaron read plainly. Even telling her the worst thing sounded great coming from him.

“It’s not my first rodeo with the morning-after pill,” Iriye said nonchalantly.

“So, you’ve done this before?” Aaron stated.

“There was a broken condom situation when a fellow intern when I moved to LA,” Iriye explained. But she didn’t explain how the pill always tended to make her feel like she was dying. She always got the brute force of the side effects.

“I should probably stay then,” Aaron said. “Make sure you’re alright,”

“I don’t need you for this part, Aaron,” Iriye stated too quickly. “It just makes me sleepy, so I’ll be fine. I’ll probably sleep this thing off all weekend. And you probably need to get prepped for the table read and all,” Iriye knew it was a few days off, but in being around Aaron, she knew when it was playtime and work time.

“Iriye-” Aaron reasoned as she got out of the car. 

“See you at the table read,” Iriye stated, walking towards her apartment.

And it was a terrible couple of days. Iriye had been fielding calls and texts from Tamara all while trying not to throw up from the morning after side effects. Once it came to Monday, she decided to stay home but not before Tamara could come banging at her door. Iriye had to pretend to not be home before seeing Tamara slip a note under her door. She waited a while before moving to grab the paper and read it: you can’t run away forever. 

Now Iriye was back at the lot, ensuring everything was under control until she saw Tamara.

“Iriye,” Tamara was in professional mode.

“Tamara, I-” 

“We’re using your latest script,” Tamara said in her professional voice, and Iriye raised a brow. “We can’t do this right now,”

“I know,” Iriye stated.

Tamara moved to talk with someone else on the sound stage while Iriye went to drop off her belongings at her seat. People started gathering around, with Tamara leading the group in quick introductions of the actors and creatives involved in the film. Iriye quickly introduced herself. Vivian led the group in a small round of applause, and she gave a small and curt smile. 

As the reading began, Iriye was lost in everyone getting comfortable with each other. each finding their character's voice and emotional journey. One of her favorite things about being a writer was seeing the discoveries others found in and between the lines of her words.

They took their first break during Act One, and Iriye grabbed a snack from craft services. But she should have been smarter because Aaron was right on her tail.

“We need to talk,” Aaron spoke lowly under her voice. Iriye checked her watch. 

“We can’t right now,” Iriye shook her head. 

“We got fifteen minutes,” He said. “Enough time,”

“We said we wouldn’t do this, us, on the lot,” Iriye reminded.

“Bullshit, Iriye,” Aaron said under his breath.

“Excuse me?” Iriye was shocked at him being snappy with her. He never was.

“Bullshit. You weren’t saying that in your office,” Iriye cleared her throat, hoping no one heard. “Walk with me, Iriye Edwards,”

Aaron began walking ahead, and Iriye glared at his head.  He turned towards her.

“Please, Iriye,” Aaron’s eyes softened at her even if his voice was sharp and clear. Iriye huffed and looked around before following him out. Still being the gentleman, he held one of the doors open for her, following behind her. They walked briefly before Aaron stopped them at a familiar structure: the soundstage where they met.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Iriye stated.

“How are you feeling after the weekend?” He asked her, a nervousness taking over him. 

“I took the pill if that’s what you were wondering,” Iriye stated. “I forgot how sick those things make me,” She said too much, seeing Aaron’s eyes soften more. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t like when people see I’m sick,”

“What’s wrong with seeing you sick,” Aaron said.

“Because I was gross and hunched over a toilet,” Iriye said. “I can take care of myself,”

“I know that, Iriye. But when you’re with someone. When you want to be in a relationship with them, you let them see all sides of yourself: the good, the bad, and the ugly,” Aaron said.

“Well, here you go. You’ve reached the bad part,” Iriye said. “I self-sabotage before you get a chance to figure out I’m not good enough and leave,”

“You think I’m going to leave?” Iriye chuckled. 

“Aaron, it’s a given,” Iriye stated. “You’re handsome. You’re talented. And so deserving of every chance you’re going to get,” Iriye bit her lip. “But so am I,”

Aaron raised a brow at her words, moving closer to her.

“There’s going to be a point where it’s going to be what I want or what you want,” Iriye said. “And I’m afraid that when we get to that point, one of us might make the wrong choice,” 

“So you would rather quit while you’re ahead?” Aaron asked, looking at her deeply in her eyes. “Answer me, Iriye,” His gaze was intense, and she wanted to look anywhere but him. But she was in his orbit and hated how close she had allowed him to get.

“I-I don’t know,” Iriye tried looking at his sweater. Aaron tilted her chin up to look up at him. 

“We need to talk about this, Iriye. Not right now, because we have to return to the table read. But we’re gonna talk about this,” Aaron stroked her chin.

“Okay,” Iriye said.

Iriye and Aaron pulled apart, trying not to walk too closely to each other as they made it back to the soundstage. Iriye let him enter first, and Tamara stopped her just as she was going to go in.

“Tamara, we’ve got to get back,” Iriye muttered.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” Tamara asked. Iriye bit her lip.

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you,” Iriye whispered.

“But you didn’t,” Tamara said. “Is this about Jay?”

“No,” Iriye admitted. “It had nothing to do with him,”

“I know he and I are still being friends; it bugs you, but he was my friend before you were his girlfriend,” Tamara stated. 

“I know, Tam. I wasn’t asking you to take sides,” Iriye said. 

“But I wouldn’t have said anything if he asked about your dating life. Maybe that’s why you didn’t tell me,” Tamara stated.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Iriye admitted. “I just… I’m figuring things out, and I didn’t want to say something, and it didn’t work out. Saying something would make it real. Maybe too real,”

“I saw you two at the snack table,” Tamara said. “I was going to talk to you, but I saw him and you,”

“We’re about to start again,” A production assistant interrupted them. Iriye nodded toward them, and they left. 

“You like him. Probably more than you ever liked Jay,” Iriye heard Tamara’s words.

“We need to focus back on the table read,” Iriye rubbed her on her jeans.

“It’s okay to feel for him, Iriye. You deserve to be happy,” Tamara said. 

“I’m sorry, Tamara,” Iriye moved to hug Tamara, and she embraced her back.

“I’m sorry, too,” Tamara squeezed Iriye. They pulled apart, returning to the table together. 

The energy for the rest of the table read felt better, Iriye able to focus at moments, hearing the chemistry building amongst the cast. The reactions to different scenes and dialogues had her feeling like everything she had worked so hard for, was coming to fruition. 

By the last scene, Iriye’s eyes were shiny with tears. They got to the last pages and a few of the actors in the cast clapped. Tamara took a moment to speak, letting everyone know that Lanoire productions were thankful for them to join the journey of this film getting made. 

The table read was wrapped up and Iriye was grabbing her things from her office when she heard a knock at her door.  She looked up and saw Aaron.

“Can I come in?” Iriye nodded and he entered her office, looking around. “How are you feeling?”

Iriye let out a deep breath she felt like she had been fighting. “I feel like… I can breathe a little better,” 

“You and Tamara?” Aaron asked.

“We’re good. I’m pretty sure I owe her dinner, two bottles of wine and a gossip session about us,” Iriye said. She saw the smile smile on his face and she bit her lip. “Aaron…”

“You said us,” Aaron moved to grab her bag, packing it up. “Come on,”

“Aaron, I gotta go home,”

“I know. I’m taking you home. I know you didn’t drive your car since you haven’t been feeling good,” Iriye rolled her eyes as the man before her.

“So bossy,” Iriye took her bag from him.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you rolling your eyes at me,” Aaron said as he led her out.

Iriye was quiet as she let Aaron drive her home in his car, his hand on her thigh as Sade played in his car. They didn’t speak but it was enough for Iriye. It made her feel warm and that thought came through her head. She loved him. 

They got to her place and Iriye let them in, Aaron taking her bag off and putting it where she kept it normally. 

“Go shower. I’m going to make us some dinner and we’re going to talk like adults,” Aaron demanded. “Then if you want to step away from us, you can,”

Iriye was going to say something but she saw the look on Aaron’s face. 

“Fine,” Iriye turned to her bathroom and went inside, using the time as she needed. She had to get this fine ass man out of her house. But taking her time in the shower would give her the space to breathe and take in how she would do this. She could go the anger route. Yell at him. Threaten him. Tell him she wouldn’t see him. But she didn’t want that. She wanted him.

Iriye dried off, taking the time to moisturize her skin and she deciped to slip into some sweats and a t shirt. She walked into the kitchen to see Aaron heating up some pasta sauce she had in a jar. 

“You need to go grocery shopping,” Aaron pointed out. He had some noodles boiling and she bit her lip.

“Maybe. I’ve just been spending a lot of time at this man’s house,” Iriye said. 

“Oh a man. What’s he like?” Aaron asked, playing along.

“Well for one, he’s tall. Really built like a linebacker or something,” Iriye mentioned. “His ears kind of a tad big for his head,”

“Not too much,” Aaron chuckled.

“He’s passionate and sweet and funny. Can go toe to toe with me when we bicker,” Iriye stated. She watched as he continued cooking with what she had, moving to plate the paste with the sauce for her. 

“I did the best I could,” He said, moving to get her a glass of water for Iriye. He place it by her. “Now eat,”

“Someone’s bossy,” Iriye dug into the meal. He watched her eat, Iriye knowing that he was focused on her. Once she finished, she watched Aaron move her plate out the way and pulled her chair closer to him as they sat at her counter. “What has gotten into you?” Iriye asked.

“You have, Iriye Edwards,” Aaron spoke, his hand moving to her cheek and cupping it. “So if this is what you don’t want,” His hand sliding up her thigh. “You’ll tell me to stop,” He cupped her pussy through her sweats and Iriye bit her lip.

“Aaron,” Iriye moaned. His hand slid into her sweats, finding her pussy as she didn’t put panties on.

“No panties. You made this so much easier for me, love,” Aaron slipped two fingers inside of Iriye and he quickly found that spot inside of her that made her gasp out.

Iriye was going to shut her legs but Aaron stood, moving to stand between her legs. His hand went to the nape of her neck and twisted his fingers into the hair there, making her look at him.

“You want me to stop, say it,” Aaron challenged her, blue eyes piercing her own. “Say it,”

Iriye couldn’t say anything as she moaned, his fingers working inside of her, his thumb touching her clit.

“The thing is you need me, Iriye,” Aaron said. “And I need you,” He leaned down to kiss her lips and Iriye kissed him back deeply. 

Iriye cupped his cheeks as their lips moved against each others, Aaron swallowing every moan and gasp that slipped as he worked her pussy with his fingers, feeling her juices coming out more and more. 

Aaron pulled back from kissing her, taking his fingers out of her pussy and sliding them to her lips, letting her taste herself amongst them. Iriye moaned, tasting her sweet juices. He pulled his fingers and kissed her, groaning.

“Come on,” Aaron lifted Iriye up, her hands moving to his neck and her legs wrapped around him. He led them to her bedroom and she gasps as he dropped her on her bed. “Strip,” Iriye sat up and with the look in his eye, she knew not to play around. 

Iriye shuffled her sweats down, leaving her bottom half bare and then her shirt came off, her titties bouncing back to their space. Aaron;s eyes took in every part of her body and she felt so exposed like a raw nerve. He got himself out of his shirt, the slight hair on his chest coming into view and the same speckle just above his pants. No belt was in his jeans and she watched as he unbuttoned it, his boxer briefs coming into view to show the hard bulge below as he got out of them. 

“Can I taste you,” Iriye asked and Aaron just chuckled. 

“You think I’m going to let you have what you want?” Aaron stated. “After you drove me mad all week, worried about you,” Iriye thought it was posessiveness making him act like this but it was more than that. “Get the condom,” Iriye shuffled up her bed to check her sidetable draw. Just as she was about to grab the gold foil, she felt a smack to her ass and she moaned from the sting, looking back at him. “Get the condom, Iriye,” 

Iriye grabbed it, shifting till she was laying against the pillow. Like a lion, Aaron crawled over her. He took the condom out of her hands and opened it, slipping it onto himself. 

Aaron crawled over Iriye, his eyes meeting her and leaning down for a soft kiss. And Iriye hated that she felt like she didn’t deserve him being sweet for a moment.

“Let me in, Iriye,” Aaron whispered and it wasn’t just her opening her legs and bed to him. It was everything else. Letting him into her life and her heart.

Before she could reply, Aaron pushed into her, a groan leaving his lips as he pressed into her pussy. She gasped as the familiar feeling of her body stretching around his length.

Aaron took a moment to regain himself, his body rocking into her as Iriye’s nail went to his back to find purchase. But he took both of her hands and pressed them to the bed.

“No. You’re just going to feel me. Feel what I do to you. That’s your only focus. Do you understand,” Aaron demanded.

“Yes,” Iriye moaned as she felt him beginning to thrust his length inside of her. Soft gasps left her as Aaron was commited to being slow and steady. His length slide in and out of her, the wet sounds echoing amongst their moans and groans.

Aaron was rolling his hips too good into her. Rocking against her as her feet tried to find purchase on the bed. His chest was rubbing against her nipples, growing harder and making her pussy throb with each movement.

“God, I wish I could feel how wet you are again,” He whispered against her lips, him leaning down to kiss her. Her hands were gasping the covers as Aaron pinned her down.

“You feel so good inside of me,” Iriye moaned out, feeling him thrust a little harder into her and causing her to cry out. 

“You really wanted to end this,” Aaron groaned against her neck. “Look at me,” He twisted his hips in a way that had Iriye arching her back, body still rocking slowly into her. “You want me to stop?”

Iriye gasped as he thrust again, hitting her g spot. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head for a second.

“You didn’t answer me Iriye,” He thrust harder into her. “You want me to stop?”

“No,” Iriye whined out. Aaron paused for a moment and she was about to moan her discontent.

“Wrap your legs around me,” Iriye did as she was told, her legs wrapping around his waist. He lifted her back up from the bed. “Arms around my neck,” She wrapped around his neck and that’s when she knew he was trying to ruin her for anyone else.

Aaron’s muscles weren’t just for looks as he began bouncing her on his cock, lifting her like she was nothing. She began crying out, not caring that her neighbors would most likely complain. If they were getting fucked like this while on their worst behavior, they would understand.

“You really want this to stop,” Aaron lifted her, his cock hitting her g spot just right and her being forced to take the onslaught was wrecking her. They were both trying to breath between gasps and moans. “A-Answer me,” He stuttered as Iriye’s pussy spasmed.

“No. Please! No! Don’t stop,” Iriye cried out loudly. She clutched onto him for dear life as the wet slaps fell against his hips.

“You really wanted to run from this,” Aaron was thrusting up into her harder. “But no one can fuck you like this,” He made sure to puntactate each word with a hard thrust, forcing cries from her body. 

“Aaron!” Iriye whined.

“When I am done with you, you’re only going know my name. You understand, love,” Aaron thrust harder into her.

“Fuck! Yes,” Iriye cried out. He thrust up into her as he brought her body down onto his length, cries and moans leaving Iriye’s body as he moved faster. “You’re going to make cum!” Iriye whined.

“Good. Cum on your cock. I’m yours baby,” Aaron leaned in to kiss her. Her lips hungrily found his and she cried out as she felt her pussy spasming. It took a couple more thrusts before Iriye screamed out. Her juices flooding his length just made Aaron thrust harder, him groaning out as his orgasm hit her and they crumpled to the bed, entangled in each others arms. They would have to talk at some point but their bodies did most of the work and that was enough for now.

@wildwomanalereyia @teenage-aria @skvrpion @absentmindeddreamer @blackpinup22 @liv10002 @styleismyaddiction @jungwonsgfs @hooliemooliedonutshawp @hippiesandpeacesigns @blowmymbackout @justagirlwho-believes13 @caribbeangyalsworld @melovedorks @moihasarrived @ashanti-notthesinger @xx-mintyxx @iluvchrisbrown @ash-ketchumzzz @deijalee @pyramidlight @xosharieee @kaylaahisthebestest- @chaniceandrea @kimmivlixx @saveadanc @kaylalb @queenbritbrat @kceeee @naughtynolly-blog @myawesome56 @chainingxday @nononoks-blog @kinginwithbreezy-blog @apple123cg @jazziejax @lauren1000000 @withoutmusiclifewouldbflat @venusincleo @loveschrisbrown20 @brwnskingirlll @iamfredtina @cozyashhh @modelmemoirs @kimiasinterlude @rpayn22 @mscarter123 @lolola22267 @thesweetestdrug @valarghoulis @nyifly22 @zimsilandela @teheeboo @blveeeeeee @5starsirl @yassbishimvintage @23jammy @prettiegal @vadeadiugularis @gabbywontlose @pinkkycherrish @slashervalley @aqueenwasmadehere @lee-jennie @wuzzzgoood

[ylangelegy]

im here to harrow you.

thinking about f1 minghao crashing out on radio…. idk why… its burned in my mind…

crash and burn 📟 minghao x reader.

★ mercedes driver!minghao x reader ┆ word count: 1.8k ┆ includes: profanity, slight Trivia 承: Love reference. ┆ footnotes: oh, you are CRUEL for preying on my hyperfixation like this. how i ended up writing this much is anybody's guess.

For a moment, the entirety of Mercedes falls quiet.

You could hear a pin drop. The pit wall, the operations room, the garage. Deathly silent. 

Xu Minghao never swore on the radio. 

He could have. He’s certainly had his fair share of instances where a cuss or two would have been acceptable. The time he crashed into Williams’ Vernon on the final lap of the Australian Grand Prix, for example. Or the Singapore race where he ended up in the barriers after battling his teammate, Wonwoo, for podium position. 

Minghao hadn’t cussed then. Everybody liked to joke that his face often did the talking for him— his expressions post-race landing him on the front page of every sports media outlet. 

The Chinese racer was calm, cool, and collected under pressure. Critical without being cruel. Demanding without being demeaning. 

And yet, today, in Monaco— 

“Why do I have the penalty?” Minghao screeches, his voice crackling over the radio. “Hello?”

“Track limits, turn nine,” his race engineer says, voice carefully measured.

“You’re kidding!” Minghao downshifts aggressively as he rounds the next corner. The tires wail, the car jolts, and the telemetry lights up with data that makes the pit wall wince. “I stayed within the white line! You saw it, everyone saw it!” 

The pit wall scrambles. Engineers replay the footage frame by frame, dissecting every pixel of the contentious corner. The commentators speculate wildly, cameras cutting to Minghao’s onboard view. Sky Sports plays the radio message on repeat, the words for fuck’s sake! echoing through living rooms worldwide.

But Minghao doesn't care about the broadcast. Doesn't care about the headlines already being written. His pulse hammers, hands locked around the steering wheel like a vice.

“Box this lap, Hao. Serve the penalty,” the team calls. “Then push. We can still fight for points.”

Minghao murmurs something incoherent, though it doesn’t take a genius to guess that it’s probably another curse. He lifts off the throttle, coasts through the last sector, and dives into the pit lane. The Mercedes crew swarms the car, stoic and efficient, every second ticking down with excruciating slowness. 

The lollipop stays down.

Ten seconds feel like an eternity.

Minghao slams the throttle as soon as he’s released, launching back onto the track with a cloud of tire smoke.

“Gap to P10?” he demands, his tone unusually biting. 

“7.3 seconds to Boo. But DRS is enabled—” 

“I can catch him,” Minghao decides on his engineer’s behalf. 

Nobody doubts it, really. 

Minghao takes the next lap like a man possessed. Nailing apexes, brushing curbs, deploying battery in the perfect spots. Purple sector times flash on the screen; the crowd roars as he slices through the field like a scalpel.

Clean. Precise. Ruthless. 

Minghao pushes right past Alpine’s Seungkwan, who screeches into his own radio about this reckless man, trying to kill him with the way he faked to the outside. It doesn’t matter to Minghao. Not when he’s through. 

“P10, Hao,” his engineer says, relief bleeding into his voice. “Keep it up.” 

“Don’t—” Minghao cuts himself off. Everybody can more or less guess what he was about to say. Don’t tell me what to do, he had planned to snap, and it only drives the team into a deeper state of confusion. 

It’s even worse in the press room. 

Minghao sits in the middle, flanked by Aston Martin’s Seokmin and Red Bull’s Jihoon. Minghao’s Mercedes suit is still speckled with sweat, and his jaw is tight, hands clasped in front of him on the table.

The moderator introduces them. “We’ll start with questions for the drivers. First, to Mercedes’ Xu Minghao. P9 after serving a 10-second penalty. Can you walk us through your race?” 

A muscle in Minghao’s jaw ticks. Not a good sign.

Minghao leans into the microphone and very simply states, “It was bullshit.” 

Again, that stunned silence. Seokmin balks like he had been physically struck. Jihoon fights back a grin. 

The moderator blinks. “Uh,” she stammers. “Could you elaborate on that?” 

“The penalty,” Minghao says plainly. “It was bullshit. I’ve seen the footage. I stayed within track limits. And even if I hadn’t, we both know there were other drivers exceeding limits all race who didn’t get penalized.” 

A reporter from BBC Radio pipes up. “You’ve been known for keeping a cool head in difficult situations, but we heard your radio messages. Do you regret your reaction?” 

The question draws a humorless laugh from Minghao. Today, his wit is razor-like in its sharpness. The claws are out, so to speak, as Minghao answers the query. 

“Regret? No. I regret not pushing harder after the penalty. I lost ten seconds and still clawed my way back to points.” He pauses, letting the fact sink in. “What does that tell you?”

Somebody from Fox Sports pushes the envelope. “Are you implying bias in the stewarding?” the journalist calls out. 

Minghao’s eyes flash, making even the most fearless of the media personnel shrink back a bit. 

“I’m saying there needs to be consistency,” he hisses. “That’s all.” 

Mercedes’ PR manager shifts uncomfortably in the background; one can assume they’re already drafting damage control statements in their head. The list of people to apologize to only grows when a ballsy ESPN journo dares to ask, “Do you think this will affect your relationship with the FIA?” 

There’s no reason for the FIA— the Formula One’s governing body— to be dragged into this. Or maybe there is, with the way Minghao is crashing out in public. 

The racer smiles coldly. “Maybe,” he answers, “but I’m not here to make friends.” 

“Okay,” the moderator interjects. “I think it’s time for us to move on—” 

Minghao concedes, leaning back into his chair and pushing the microphone over to Jihoon. There’s the slightest of miscalculations, though, when Minghao grumbles something to the Red Bull driver.

The microphone catches Minghao’s snide side comment, supposedly meant solely for Jihoon’s ears. “You should ask the FIA why they’re so scared of drivers who fight back,” the Chinese driver huffs. 

The room explodes. Minghao doesn’t flinch. 

Mercedes’ PR manager accepts that it’s going to be a long, long night. 

Even Wonwoo doesn’t have an answer for his co-driver’s uncharacteristic behavior. The driver frowns when the team principal brings it up. 

Wonwoo runs a hand through his dark, sweat-slicked hair, as if reviewing what he witnessed pre- and post-race. “Hao was already a bit… off when he came in this morning,” Wonwoo admits. “Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something.” 

“Drivers like Minghao don’t just wake up one morning and decide they’re going to be the devil reincarnated,” the team principal says tentatively. 

Wonwoo takes a moment to contemplate. “Trouble in paradise, maybe?” 

“Drivers like Minghao—” 

“Don’t let their personal lives affect their racing,” Wonwoo finishes before waving his hand dismissively. “Well, I don’t know, then.” 

Except— for once— Wonwoo is right. 

The team doesn't press Minghao to celebrate, not when he’s a walking PR disaster in a foul mood. He heads straight back to his apartment, shedding all his rage on the way home. 

It’s the only reason he manages to gently open the front door. He toes off his shoes at the doorway and shrugs off his hoodie, each action deliberate in its intent and slowness.

He finds you in the kitchen.

You’re seated at one of the bar stools, forearms leaning against the island. Minghao doesn’t come close. Not at first. He lingers a couple of steps away, stock still as the two of you lock gazes. 

You open your mouth. Minghao beats you to the punch line. 

“I know,” he says, his voice the most gentle it’s been the entire day. “Trust me, I know.” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you off.” 

Minghao lets out a derisive snort of laughter, though he’s quick to look chastised when he catches the shift in your expression. “Alright,” he says tiredly. “What were you going to say, then?” 

You hop off the stool. Minghao holds his breath. 

He still feels like he isn’t breathing by the time you’re standing right in front of him. Where others might hesitate, you don’t. 

Your hand reaches up to cup Minghao’s face. Your palm is warm against his cheek, but your words are much warmer. 

“I was going to apologize,” you say slowly, enunciating each word, “for breaking rule number three.” 

Rule number three. To have it brought up now is comedic. Minghao thinks of the restaurant tissue framed in the living room, the one bearing the silly list the two of you had jotted down when you first started dating. 

The very rule you’re referring to right now had been in Minghao’s loopy handwriting, underlined twice to emphasize its importance. 

#3: No fights on race weekends. 

It had come with an asterisk, a couple of caveats. Still, it was one of those ‘rules’ the two of you tried to see through the most. For not only Minghao’s sanity, but Mercedes’ as well. 

Minghao sighs, the tension in his shoulders easing with the heavy exhale. He can’t help it; his cheek nuzzles into your palm, seeking the familiarity of your touch after being without it last night. 

(That was his choice, admittedly, after he opted to sleep in the guest room instead of your shared bedroom. He left in the morning without all of his usual routines— his 30-minute guided meditation, his good luck kiss from you.) 

The fight— God, what was the fight even about? Minghao is embarrassed to admit he can barely remember. 

By the way you’re looking at him, though, it looks like you’re also ready to put it past the two of you. 

“Did you watch?” he asks. 

The corners of your lips twitch upward. “What’s the right answer?” you shoot back, half-teasing as Minghao’s arms gingerly wrap around your waist. 

“I think I’d prefer that you say ‘no’,” he says wryly. “I was a monster out there. I’ve got so many people to apologize to.” 

You give a low hum of approval. Minghao tugs you into his space until he can bury his face in the top of your head.

For a moment, the two of you bask in the aftermath. The bittersweet race, the shaky reconciliation. Minghao breaks the silence. 

“I said fuck,” he mumbles, horrified, “on the radio.” 

“You did,” you confirm. “Twice, actually.” 

Minghao groans. “And at the press conference—” 

“You told the FIA they could take it up their a—” 

“I did not,” your boyfriend says shrilly, “say that!” 

You break out into giggles. Minghao can’t help it; his arms tighten around you, and he holds you like he’s trying to erase the past 24 hours through touch alone. 

Tomorrow, Minghao will be back to his usual self. He’ll play the PR game— waxing poetics about mental pressure, apologizing to the FIA for his conduct. He’ll pay the fines and promise to do better, be better. 

Tonight, Minghao softens all his edges and loves you. 

[okay-j-hannah]

Part 1: Sugared Coffee

Criminal Minds : Multishot

Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 7554

Warnings: set around season 3 {aka 2007}, slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, pining on Reid’s part, phobia of needles, PTSD, usual criminal minds level of violence and creepy unsubs, mentions of serial killers and the sick things they do, panic attacks, statistics and quotes I can provide references for

Request: This just came from my own head 😊  

A/N: While taking a break from writing my Teen Wolf series, I stumbled onto this little idea 😅 I've been in love with Spencer Reid since 15 years old - and I still haven't written a series with him... WHICH IS A CRIME

~~~

The Quantico buildings stood out pale and dim within the autumn trees. The dead, fall colors of red and orange encased the sidewalks and scented the air with a farmstead crispness. It was a smell you knew you wouldn’t forget as you stood before the main building.

Dressed in a blue button down and a black blazer, you thumbed the plastic sleeve of your new badge. FBI, it said in blue block letters, Behavioral Analysis Unit. This was a step closer to your new life.

Maybe this will be your chance to catch the son of a bitch. Maybe this will be your chance to stop others in the meantime. Maybe this is your chance to stay safe with a new team and a new badge, stifling the feeling of fear that always rested in your diaphragm.

For now you know you will always remember that your first day at the BAU smelled like fall leaves.

~~~

The office felt slower than usual, which could be seen as a reprieve, but it made the team restless. Most of them were catching up on paperwork, or at least taking their time with details. Reid had flown through a list of research papers and true crime novels by the time lunch rolled around.

“I thought we all had paperwork to do.” Prentiss called over, rubbing an ink smudge on her finger, “How come you’re reading crime fiction?”

Reid’s finger stopped running midway through a page in his book. “It’s not fiction, this is a true crime biography written by O.J. Simpson about if he hypothetically committed the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.”

Prentiss raised her eyebrows, tossing her pen onto her desk, “If I was found not guilty for a murder, I would try to put the whole thing behind me. Not write a book detailing what I would do if I actually did it.”

“You finished your paperwork?” Morgan asked, entering the bullpen with a yellow pad of paper. He tore off the top page and sat across from Reid. “I thought you were a speed reader, not a speed writer.”

“I have a lot of free time at home,” Reid said, looking down at his book again.

Morgan laughed, balling up the yellow piece of paper and tossing it at Reid’s head. “Pretty boy needs a pretty girl in his life.”

Reid swatted at where the paper ball bounced off his face. “Stop finding reasons to avoid your work.”

“Woah,” Morgan grinned, “Someone’s a little feisty today.”

“You would be too if someone kept interrupting you while you’re trying to read.”

“Hey, have you heard if that new recruit is coming in today?” Prentiss asked, laying back in her chair and massaging her writing hand.

Morgan shrugged, twisting around in his own chair, “Hotch said interviews ended over a week ago.”

“They’re being pretty secret about the whole thing,” Prentiss went on, “Makes you wonder who they are.”

“I heard Rossi had something to do with it,” Morgan said, “Persuaded Hotch to make the unpopular choice.”

Reid closed his book, unable to concentrate, “That would mean the new guy has a personal connection with Rossi.”

“New girl, it seems,” Morgan said, eyes moving to the office doors to find Hotch escorting a professionally dressed woman.

Reid looked over as well, noticing a few things immediately, profiler that he was. This new recruit held herself tall, speaking of her confidence entering the room. Although her eyes were open wide as if she were trying to see everything all at once. It gave her expression the look of being frightened.

But the hesitant smile on her face spoke of kindness.

She was a walking contradiction. Her handshake was firm, shoulders squared, voice steady and confident. But her breath was shallow, and her eyes gave the appearance of a deer stuck in the headlights.

The conclusion was that this new recruit was confident in her abilities and wanted to be there. But she felt like she had to prove herself, terrified that something would cause her to be kicked off the team.

“This is SSA Derek Morgan,” Hotch introduced, “And SSA Emily Prentiss.”

“Hello,” the new recruit said, shaking each hand.

“And Dr. Spencer Reid,” Hotch gestured towards him, “We’ve found you some competition.”

The girl looked at Reid with a wide smile and it struck him how pretty she was. He blinked dumbly a few times, face blank when he replied, “Competition?” His throat felt incredibly dry.

“This is SSA (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” Hotch continued, “I was just telling her how we had an early graduate already on our team.”

Reid cleared his throat to combat the dryness, “You graduated school early?”

She nodded slowly, “Highschool and college.” She was quiet – shy in stating her accomplishments.

Hotch continued for her, “Had her bachelor’s degree by eighteen.”

(Y/N) sucked in a breath, rushing out, “And my master’s degree by twenty-two.”

“Our genius beats you by a few years,” Morgan grins.

“The eidetic memory helps,” Prentiss scoffs.

(Y/N) smiled again, “It’d be nice to bounce ideas off another brainiac.” She regards Reid with a warmer expression.

He was suddenly overcome with a sense of familiarity, as if he had seen her face somewhere before. He ran her name through his mind, trying to remember if he had read it or just heard it before.

“Speechless, Reid?” Morgan asked, grinning like he knew something everyone else didn’t. “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

Everyone laughed as Reid tried to clear his mind. (Y/N) was looking at him with such fondness, he hoped it wasn’t pity for his strange and endearing behavior. He surprised himself by realizing he wanted her to like him. Like him a lot.

~~~

You leaned into the cushions of the jet seats, fingers running along your ribcage, at the little scar you knew was there. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself that you could.

“Alright, so families are being targeted in their homes with variations of the anthrax bacteria,” Hotch said, leading the team in the next case. “What do we notice about these cases?”

“These don’t seem like full scale terrorist attacks that are usually associated with anthrax,” Morgan said, flipping through the files, “But these could just be test subjects before some biological warfare.”

“Being isolated to just families within their homes gives the appearance of a simple virus passing through,” Prentiss said, “Usually when one family member gets sick they assume everyone will eventually.”

Rossi sighed, “Which kept families from reporting to the hospital until it was too late.”

“It’s also interesting that the unsub is using different anthrax forms,” J.J. continued, looking at the case photos with disgust, “Maybe they’re testing the effectiveness of each.”

Reid had a few knuckles resting against his chin, “We’ve seen inhalation anthrax in previous attacks, which affects the lungs of the infected and presents as flu-like symptoms.”

“There’s also intestinal anthrax, which comes from ingesting the bacteria,” you say quickly, “As well as cutaneous anthrax, which only affects the skin.”

“But we all know that inhalation anthrax is the deadliest,” Hotch said, “It’s been reported as the most fatal.”

“So why is the unsub using these different forms?” Morgan asked.

You thumb through the victim photos, “Maybe the unsub isn’t testing anything. Maybe they just enjoy infecting the family and watching the chaos ensue.”

“What makes you say that?” Hotch asked.

You sigh, feeling the attention being placed on you. A few of your fingers search for the little scar against your ribcage, tracing the slightly raised skin beneath your shirt. “If the goal of infecting the victims is to kill them, then using cutaneous or intestinal anthrax isn’t optimal. As soon as a cutaneous rash or ulcer appears, then you treat it with topical antibiotics and survival is very likely. And the only way intestinal anthrax will kill is if it somehow enters the bloodstream.”

“They could be enjoying the panic of sick families,” Rossi muttered to himself.

“The unsub might be using those forms in addition to inhalation because they want to see ultimate suffering,” you continue.

Morgan leaned forward, “Start with inhalation to incapacitate the victims. Then infect them with the other forms later.”

Hotch nodded in agreement, “Good work, (Y/N). I don’t think we are afraid of a terrorist attack. This is an unsub that enjoys isolating and infecting whole families.”

You swallow hard, proud of yourself for having an idea that might be plausible. This only being your third case with the team meant still trying to find your place among them.

Morgan was relaxed across from you, watching you for a few seconds, “You okay?”

You snap your eyes to him, “Yeah, why?”

He shrugged, looking down to your hand, “You have a nervous tick.”

Your hand instantly left the little scar you often traced, “Don’t we all?” you try to smile, “This is a time sensitive case.”

“Most of them are,” Morgan said, observing you, “There’s something you especially don’t like about this one.”

“What gives you that impression?” you ask, monitoring your own actions to try not to give yourself away.

“I don’t know you all that well…” he said.

You shake your head quickly, “No, you don’t.”

“… but I’ve seen you in some high stress situations the last couple of weeks. And I’ve noticed when you’re a little shaken.”

You close the case file, staring down at it with some apprehension. “Another form of anthrax is injection.”

Morgan looked at you with confusion, “Like with a needle?”

“That’s enough,” Rossi said from a few seats away, “Isn’t there a rule about profiling each other?”

“Papa Rossi to the rescue,” Morgan said with a small smile. “I was just concerned, that’s all.”

You give him a little nod, “I get it.” You give Rossi a stern, knowing look and he waved away your glare.

“We should grab a drink sometime,” Morgan continued, flashing his eyes in Reid’s direction. “It’d be nice to get to know you more.”

You laugh, “The most exciting thing about me, Derek, is this job.”

“Still,” Morgan stretched, “Where you from?”

A little huff escaped your lips as the jet began its descent, “Arizona.”

“What part?”

“Flagstaff,” you say slowly, “Why does this sound like an interrogation?” You were smiling, almost encouraging Morgan’s teasing tone.

“Family? Boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

You shake your head, “Parents back home. And no.” You notice how Reid suddenly put down the book he was reading to give his undivided attention.

“Alright.”

A laugh escapes you, “That’s all you wanted to know?”

“For now, sweetheart,” he said, giving a wink to Reid when you looked away. “Prentiss and I can scope out the first victim’s house.”

Hotch nodded, watching the jet get closer to the ground, “Good. Rossi, you and J.J. can look at the second victim’s house. Reid and (Y/N) – you two can go to the hospital to get more information on the symptoms and treatment of the victims. I’ll set up base at the local police station.”

Morgan seemed pleased about something as he got ready for the landing. Reid gave a little wave to you but seemed embarrassed by the action as he looked away immediately.

~~~

You sit behind the wheel of the SUV, Reid in the passenger seat twiddling his thumbs in his lap. You could tell he wanted to talk but didn’t know what to say. If you had it your way, you’d prefer to keep your silence while he rambled on about whatever was on his mind.

That way you wouldn’t have to talk. The less you talk the less likely you’ll share something you would regret.

“I found out recently that there’s a stage theatre in Virginia that puts on Shakespeare plays,” you say quietly.

Reid turns to you with raised eyebrows, “The Blackfriars Playhouse?”

You nod, “I hear it’s the world’s only re-creation of Shakespeare’s indoor theatre.”

“Yes, it started out as a traveling troupe that performed in countries around the world. They were taken in by the International Shakespeare Globe Centre and featured in England. In 1999 they changed their name to Shenandoah Shakespeare and moved to Staunton, Virginia. It took two years for the Blackfriars Playhouse to be built, and since then they’ve rebranded as the American Shakespeare Center that educates aspiring actors and performs using Renaissance rehearsal practices to showcase Shakespeare’s greatest works on their Globe Theatre stage.”

You start to relax against the wheel, “I saw somewhere that they’re having a year long conference.”

Reid was getting all excited, sitting on the edge of his seat and smiling with his words, “They are! The ASC is partnering with Shakespeare’s Globe in London. You’re a fan of Shakespeare?”

You give a polite nod, “As long as it’s on the stage. Shakespeare was meant to be watched, not just read.”

“Exactly!” he was thrilled to find something in common with you. “What is your favorite play?”

“Probably Much Ado About Nothing.”

“A comedy,” Reid said, “It’s one of my favorites too. Did you know that Much Ado About Nothing is considered one of Shakespeare’s greatest comedies? Although a similar trope of a happy ending, united lovers, and a villain receiving justice is seen in both The Merchant of Venice and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Much Ado About Nothing also features more prose than just about any other Shakespearean play.”

You smile, confused, “Prose?”

“Prose is the written or spoken language in its ordinary form, meaning without the use of a metrical structure. It follows the natural flow of speech and differs from most traditional poetry. Much Ado About Nothing is about 75% prose and only 25% actual poetry verse. Verse is used to express more emotional statements, so that essentially proves how much of a comedy the play is because 75% of the material is used to express whimsical thoughts.”

You kept smiling, turning to enter the hospital parking lot. “I had no idea.”

It was quiet for a second before Reid cleared his throat, “I was rambling, wasn’t I?”

“Don’t worry,” you say, “I like it.”

Reid squirmed in his seat, warmth blooming in his chest, “I’m sorry, I should give you more of a chance to talk. Did you bring up the Blackfriars Playhouse because you wanted to see a show?”

You open the car door, “Maybe. Let’s get this over with.”

He scrambles out of the car, readjusting his side bag. “Okay.” You could tell he wanted to continue your conversation, but you brushed it off as you both enter the building to talk to the chief of the hospital.

You held back a shiver as you meet with staff in the urgent care ward. They told you of the severity of the anthrax murders, the horrific symptoms presented in the victims. They confirmed how quickly the bacteria affects a person and travels to everyone within a household.

“It would be easily transmitted between family members,” the doctor expressed.

“We believe the man we’re looking for is entering the home and tainting their food, infecting their air conditioning units, and injecting them in their sleep,” Reid says.

The doctor nods, “I can say the inhalation infection was there the longest, meaning it was the first form used. Cutaneous infection through injections hasn’t been present as long.”

“Meaning the unsub is entering the house a second time to infect them with a different form,” you say, “This guy likes to stick around and watch.” You trace the little scar against your ribcage, fingers lowering to another pinprick scar against your abdomen.

“Thank you for your time,” Reid said, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Of course,” the doctor said, “And before I forget, your unit chief wanted your team treated to prevent an anthrax infection.”

Reid nodded in understanding, but you start to seize, “How?”

A nurse leaves to grab some supplies as the doctor states calmly, “Antibiotics and the anthrax vaccine. We usually only recommend it for individuals that are at risk.”

“And that comes in a pill form?” you ask quickly. Reid looks at you suddenly from your tone of voice.

“The antibiotics do,” the doctor says, pulling out some paperwork, “But the vaccine comes in an injection.”

Pain enters your side. You know it’s most likely a phantom pain, but you can’t escape the feeling of terror bubbling in your diaphragm. It popped and sizzled into your lungs, bringing you back to the familiar sensation of your lungs being punctured.

You attempted to mask the reaction – hold back the sweat wetting your palms and creeping up your neck. You cooled your tone as you cleared your throat. You didn’t even want to see the vaccine.

Reid was being directed to sit down and roll up his sleeve, which he did while keeping his eyes trained on you. You didn’t want to see the confusion and worry in his face.

You run your fingers through your hair, holding back the shakiness of your hands, “I uh… I need to run to the bathroom real quick.”

You didn’t hear any response as you sped to the nearest bathroom. White noise was buzzing in your ears, dots of pain appearing across your front, like little beestings. You knew it was just a memory, and you clenched either side of the porcelain sink telling yourself that.

Of course you knew a spiral was going to happen. It was one of the main reasons Hotchner didn’t want to hire you in the first place. But you had hoped you’d be a few more cases in before it happened. 

You breathed through the terror, splashed your face with cold water, and flexed your fingers. You grounded yourself with your surroundings: Tiled floors, white walls, soap scum on the sink, faint bleach smell, water dripping down the drain.

Straightening out, you took a deep breath, no sharp stabbing pain – the fear trickling back into its containment in your diaphragm.

You straighten the hairs framing your face, wiping the speckle of water against your chin. Your phone started ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hi, gorgeous,” came a bright sing-song voice, “How’s my new bestie?”

A smile finally breaks the grimness of your face, “Garcia.”

“Yeah, hi – Hotch is asking that everyone meets back at the station. We just found a connection between the families. They’re both customers of the same plumbing company.”

“Which would give someone access to their drinking water and air conditioning.”

“Oh, I didn’t even think about infecting the water supply,” Garcia said, a smile clear in her voice, “I knew boy genius was going to have some competition with you.”

“Thanks, Garcia,” you say, sliding the phone back in your pocket. You exit the bathroom and find Reid waiting by the front doors. His face was placid, but his brow furrowed upon seeing you.

His throat bobbed before he spoke. “You okay?”

“Yeah, Hotch wants us back at the police station.” You walked right past him and out to the parking lot.

Reid had to jog to catch up to you, pointing back at the hospital, “Did you get the vaccine?”

“I’m fine,” you say, getting in the car, “The team made a connection between the victims.”

It was obvious that he didn’t believe you, but he was too intimidated by your evasion that he kept his mouth shut. The warmth that bloomed in his chest at sharing a car ride with you was still there. He wanted it to stay – he didn’t want to jeopardize the possible friendship growing between you.

Looking at you drive, more tense than he’s seen you before, he was struck again with how familiar you were. Whether your name or your face, he didn’t know but he could’ve sworn he’d heard of you before.

It had only been a few weeks, but he knew he already had it bad. He was becoming infatuated with you.

~~~

The team had dispersed again, taking part in investigating new suspects at the plumbing company. (Y/N) and Hotch were in the next room interrogating a lead while Reid updated the geographical profile in their office.

Rossi was confirming their suspicions that another family might be targeted in the next 24 hours.

Reid capped a marker and cleared his throat, “You knew (Y/N) before she joined the BAU.”

“Yeah,” Rossi said, immediately suspicious, “What of it?”

“It’s just…” Reid continued, sitting down at the table, “I feel like I know her from somewhere, but I can’t quite place it.”

“I thought you remembered everything.”

“I remember what I read, but I think her name is something I’ve heard before.”

Rossi put his files down, giving his full attention, “Why don’t you just ask her?”

“Because I have a feeling she’ll deflect.”

“So you’re trying to go behind her back?”

Reid sighed, “No, I just… she worried me a little at the hospital. I know something is wrong.”

That sparked some interest in Rossi. He leaned forward, “What happened?”

“She basically ran away when the doctor said we needed to get a shot. She says she got one, but I think she was lying.”

Rossi was quick to answer, “A lot of people don’t like getting shots.”

“No, it was the way she reacted,” he said quietly, “It was more than just a phobia. And I know she doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Then there’s only one thing you can do.”

Reid looked up hopefully, “What?”

“Be a good friend and respect her wishes.”

“You’re not going to tell me how you know her, are you?” Reid said, disappointed.

“It’s not my story to tell,” Rossi shrugged, “But if she’s lying about getting the vaccine, then I might talk to her. We don’t want her contracting anthrax because of a fear.”

Reid twiddled his thumbs, giving his best puppy-dog stare, “Not even a hint?”

It pulled a chuckle out of Rossi, “You like this girl.”

“Did Morgan tell you that?”

“It’s not so hard to figure out,” the old man smiled, “I’ll give you some advice. (Y/N) is a driven and stubborn woman. She’s never liked being told what she can and can’t do. But that’s only what’s on the surface. (Y/N) is one of the kindest, quirkiest, most considerate people I know. You just need to get past the hard outer shell.”

Reid nodded to himself, “We talked about Shakespeare in the car today.”

“You did?” Rossi seemed surprised, “That was quick.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve already found a nerdy part of her. I thought she’d guard that for a while longer.” He was amused by the giddy happiness that entered Reid’s face, “There might be hope for you yet, kid.”

It wasn’t much later that Hotch figured out that you hadn’t taken any preventative measures against the anthrax. He ordered you back to the hospital or else stay off the case until they caught the unsub. He wasn’t going to take any chances when working with such a serious bacteria.

You, being the stubborn newbie that you are, bit your tongue and quieted the fear beginning to brew below your ribcage.

Taking advantage of the situation, Reid stepped up to escort you to the hospital. It was a quiet and tense ride to the urgent care, Reid attempting to find a way to express his concern.

“Not a fan of needles?” he asked with a lighter inflection.

You hold back a scoff, “Not really.” Your fingers are knotted and pressed tightly against your stomach.

Reid tried to keep his eyes on the road, “I don’t like them much either.”

“It’s silly, really,” you say, closing your eyes.

“No, it’s not. Everyone is afraid of something,” he rushed out, stopping you from diminishing your feelings. “I’m afraid of the dark.”

You swallow hard, “Really?”

“Some would say that’s ridiculous now that we’re adults. But you never know what’s lurking in the dark.”

It was silent for another minute before you took a shaky breath, “I have a pretty severe phobia.”

“Of what?”

You lick your lips, “Any kind of needle. Sewing needles, knitting needles, safety pins, thumbtacks, you name it. I can’t… they remind me…” You clamp your mouth shut.

Reid was hesitant but wanted to encourage you to continue, “You know you’re part of a team now. Whatever we share with each other is in confidence. We all have your back.”

I have your back, he wanted to say, You can trust me.

You tighten your hands, “They remind me of a dark place. I don’t like going there.”

Reid flexed his fingers against the steering wheel. He blinked hard before muttering, “I’ll be there with you.”

You both entered the hospital with Reid having a hand hovering against your back. He didn’t touch you, but he wanted to. He walked beside you, guiding you to sit in a chair. As soon as the nurse appeared with a sterile metal tray, you turned your head away.

Reid sat beside you, addressing the nurse.

“Afraid of needles?” she asked.

You didn’t respond so Reid said, “A little.”

“Don’t worry, honey, this will be over in a second. Just a little pinch.” She noticed how shallow your breathing had gotten, “Remember to breathe, sweetie.”

You nod, jumping when the cold wet of the alcohol wipe touched your exposed shoulder. Reid watched you tense up, gripping the armrests of the chair. He wasn’t sure what was overstepping boundaries, but he felt compelled by the concern eating him up to grab your hand.

His fingers wrapped around yours and he was relieved to find you clutching back at him. As soon as the injection touched your arm, a gasp escaped you. You were shaking in his hand and your face was screwed up against the sharp pain.

Reid never took his eyes off your face, worried at how severe your reaction was. He realized you were holding your breath as the nurse put a band-aid on your arm.

“Breathe, (Y/N),” he said quietly, “Remember to breathe.”

You inhale sharply, “Is it over?”

“Yes,” Reid said in his same calming tone, “And you’re okay. We’re all done.”

You open your eyes, finding Reid looking at you with a deep level of concern. He hadn’t let go of your hand yet and you found that grounding yourself was easier this time. No white noise filled your ears, no phantom pinpricks of pain stabbed your abdomen.

You focused on your surroundings: Reid’s warm hand holding yours, the smell of sugared coffee and mahogany on his collar, the slow breaths filling his chest, and the heat of him nearly pressed against your arm.

“Thank you,” you say softly, “That wasn’t so bad with you here.”

His heart soared out of his chest, a smile wide on his face, “Anytime.”

~~~

A month later you were settling into the team more and more. You had found little blossoms of friendship among your coworkers, except for Rossi who was determined to remain your second father.

You felt more at ease the longer time passed without suspicion about your hiring process. Though that could mean a higher chance of a slip up.

“You. Up. Drinks. Now,” Morgan had pointed a finger at you and gestured to the elevators where some of the team stood.

“Derek,” you sighed, leaning in your chair, “You know the club isn’t my kind of scene.”

He shook his head, smiling, “Not today, angel face. You’ve had an excuse the last four weekends and I know for a fact you were planning on spending your evening alone, reading and drinking your tea.”

You pursed your lips, eyes flickering to where Reid was talking to Prentiss. You had told him earlier that day of your excitement to have a free weekend to read.

“Is nothing sacred anymore?”

“Come on, pretty boy will only go if you go,” Morgan said.

And now you sat at a dimly lit table, waiting for your drink as Morgan was having a dance off with Prentiss out on the floor. She shoved him over and right into the nearest beautiful woman. Derek raised his eyebrows and sent Emily a little ‘thank you’ as he began dancing sensually with his new partner.

Emily rolled her eyes and went to find her own dance partner.

Over at the bar was J.J. and Garcia, no doubt discussing the latest Quantico gossip. Garcia, with a thin black straw between her teeth, slack jawed at the whisperings of J.J.’s news. It made you smile knowing that the analyst would corner you later to tell you what she had learned.

The low lights included a mixture of purple and blue, setting a cool tone around the people sitting at tables. You run your fingers along the table surface, noticing Reid making his way to you with two drinks.

“You look bored,” he said with a close lipped smile.

You accept the drink gratefully, “I told Derek I’m not a fan of drinks.”

“Then why did you agree to come?”

Because I knew you wouldn’t have a good time if I didn’t. You swallow, stirring your drink around with the straw, “My parents tell me I should go out every once in a while or I’ll never make any friends.”

He huffed a laugh, “You talk to your parents a lot?”

“I would every day if I let them have their way.”

“Are you close?”

You shrug your shoulders, “They worry about me.”

“Are you an only child?”

“Don’t start the profiling questions,” you say with a smirk, “But yes, I am an only child.”

Reid nods, his face heating up at being chastised. “There are a lot of studies on the effects of only children.”

“You going to say I’m a stereotypical only child that experiences overprotectiveness and spoiling from my two loving parents?”

“No,” Reid said calmly, “There are actually many studies that disprove that stereotype. Professor Toni Falbo from the University of Texas found that ‘across all developmental outcomes, only children were indistinguishable from firstborns and people from small families.’ And clinical psychologist Linda Blair wrote about how ‘parents can focus all their time and energy on an only child,’ which means they get valuable relationship time where ‘they just feel valued’, not just a sense of being overprotected. I think your parents might worry about you because of a different reason.”

You try to contain your smile, “No, they’re definitely just overprotective of me.”

“But then something must’ve happened to have them be overprotective of you. It couldn’t just be because you’re an only child.”

You take a sip of your drink, slowly nodding your head. Be careful. Don’t slip up. “A little bit of both.” You cleared your throat, “You know what show I just started?”

Reid took note of the change of subject, “What?”

“Doctor Who.”

His face split open into the biggest smile, “Really? The series from 1963 or the revamped series from 2005?”

“I just started the Tenth Doctor,” you say, matching his smile, “I think I like David Tennant more.”

Reid looked about ready to burst with the amount of information he knew about the topic. He started stuttering over his words, twiddling his fingers in the air as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

“My favorite is by far the Fourth Doctor played by Tom Baker. He’s the longest running Doctor on the series, having starred in seven seasons between 1974 and 1981. He is the most recognizable Doctor internationally with his famous multicolored scarf. I think his most popular companions are K-9 and…”

“… Sarah Jane!” you say enthusiastically, “Yeah, they were both in the last season with the Tenth Doctor.”

“Yes, yes!” he said happily, “That’s one of the greatest things about Doctor Who – they bring back timeless characters and stories through the years. It’s why you have to watch the originals!”

You laugh at his endearing blabber, “Go back to black and white television?”

“It’s classic,” he retorts, “Sure the BBC didn’t give them much of a budget at first, but the black and white helps hide the poor quality of the sets and costumes. And television back then wasn’t designed to be binged like today, so many of the stories aren’t cohesive, but that’s the beauty of it. It’s history in the making – you can see the progress of a single character and their life over almost fifty years! It’s fascinating.”

You nod slowly, tickled by Reid’s eagerness, “Alright. Maybe I’ll try to watch them.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to talk to you about the Master and the evolution of the Daleks and the effects of the Time War.”

Another laugh escapes you as you continue to stir your drink with the straw, staring at the ice cubes tink against the glass.

It got quiet as Reid stewed in the slight embarrassment that itched his stomach as his excitement wore off. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I rambled.”

“I told you I like it,” you say, finally looking at him in that dimly lit bar, “I like seeing you get all excited about stuff. It makes me want to get excited about it too.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t do things just because I like them.”

“Why not?” you say firmly, “What if I want us to share something?”

He was caught off guard by that, blinking hard a few times. “You want us to share something?”

You take another sip of your drink. It was getting watered down now by the melting ice. “I told you I need more friends,” you smile at him, “My parents are worried, remember?”

Reid’s throat bobbed, thoughts of spending long nights cuddled on the couch and watching old shows on a black and white television disappear in an instant. His hopes of taking her on a date to the Blackfriars Playhouse to see her favorite play were being diminished, the tickets of said show burning in his back pocket. The want to brew her a cup of tea and share an evening reading books together, maybe even holding hands across their reading chairs, ached in his chest.

“Friends,” he said quietly, “Right.”

~~~

Not long after the bar trip, you invited Reid over to your apartment for one of your reading sessions.

When you opened the door to find him with nearly ten books piled in his arms, you laughed. “You’re gonna out read me 10 to 1.”

He gave a close lipped smile, fighting back the embarrassment of his quirks. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

You sat on one end of the couch, thumbing the edge of your fiction book. “I put a kettle on,” you said gesturing to the stove, “If you want to have a cup of tea with me.”

Reid took off his satchel, setting his books on a side table, “I’m more of a coffee guy.”

“Yeah,” you say smiling, “More like a sugar guy with some coffee beans on the side.”

You’re suddenly struck with another memory. Just like how you remember that your first day at the BAU smelled like fall leaves.

You remember that the first time you were able to easily ground yourself from PTSD, it smelled like sugared coffee.

As the kettle started screaming with steam, you went to stand until Reid started waving you down, “No, no – you’re already sitting. I’ll get the tea.”

And as he passed you by, it smelled like sugared coffee again, “But you don’t even want any.”

He didn’t respond, smiling to himself as he filled a waiting teacup with boiling water. A little cannister of teabags sat beside the stove. “Did you know that tea is the second most popular drink in the world? The first being water.”

“So my preferred drink is more popular than yours?” you say teasingly as he came around the couch with the steaming cup.

“That’s because the Asia Pacific is a dominant region for tea, and that accounts for over 4 billion people, which is around 60% of the world’s population. Not to mention that around 68% of people in the United Kingdom drink at least one tea per day, and that’s about 61 million people. That puts the tea industry slightly above the coffee.” He handed you the teacup, his fingertips burning where they brushed up against yours, and not because the drink was hot.

“You could just say tea is better than coffee, it’s okay,” you say, blowing before taking a sip.

Reid held back a smile, sitting on the other side of the couch, “Maybe not better… but more popular.”

You bickered with smiles on your faces for a couple more minutes before cracking open your books. You’re giggling as you toss your bookmark at him, “Just shut up and read your books.”

He laughed at you, trying to get comfortable on his side, crossing his spindly legs.

The pair of you sat in a comfortable silence as the sun dipped lower behind the blinds. Reid had blown throw two psychology textbooks and another true crime book written by a favorite author. You had gotten through maybe seventy pages of your adult fantasy novel.

Reid thought he would’ve gotten through six books by then, but he kept getting distracted by you. The thought of reaching over and holding your hand as you read was overwhelming. He wanted to sit closer, rub shoulders with you, peer over and read the same page as you, wait for you to finish before he turned the page for you.

He wanted to catch your eyes drooping with sleep and then offer to read aloud to you as you drift off against him. He wanted to drape a blanket around you both and help you sip tea so you wouldn’t have to take your arms out from under the warmth. He wanted to hear you read your favorite lines to him. He wanted to see you shift into a more comfortable reading position, grumbling about aching wrists. He wanted to read your book just so he could talk to you about it.

He wanted you.

It was getting painful how much he wanted you.

The bookmark he was using was the two tickets to the Blackfriars Playhouse. They blared at him like a beacon sitting on the side table.

But then something remarkable happened. From your scrunched up position on the opposite side of the couch, you crept your feet across the seat cushions until they reached Reid. You then tucked your cold toes under his thigh.

He abruptly looked at you with raised eyebrows.

You shrugged your shoulders, attempting to look innocent. “My feet are cold.”

He fought a huge smile, “And you don’t have a blanket?”

“Why would I need a blanket when you’re here?” You said it so casually there was no way you noticed how that made Reid’s heart leap.

“Fair enough,” he responded. He cleared his throat, flickering his eyes between you and his own book. “Hey, (Y/N)?”

You look up at him over the top of your book, “Yeah, Spence?”

Spence. He started smiling despite the nerves, “I couldn’t help but notice that the Blackfriars Playhouse is showing Much Ado About Nothing, and um…” he swallowed hard, unable to look at you. “… I just so happen to have two tickets to see it next Saturday.”

Your feet wiggled under his leg, and he squirmed, tickled. “Is that so?”

“Would you want to go with me… maybe?”

You could barely contain the excitement starting to course through your veins, “Are you kidding? Spence! I would love to go.” Your book fell from your fingers, “Oh my god, I’m so excited.”

The pride that swelled Reid’s chest could’ve made him float to the moon.

~~~

You could’ve blamed it on the case. On the method of killing. On the type of victim. But it was the fact that you didn’t have a handle on your emotions.

Girls around your age were being taken and tortured by having nails hammered into them. Sharp, pointed nails – stabbed into them. It was too similar.

You counted your breaths and stared at your desk. Everyone exited the bullpen before you, packing briefcases and emergency bags for the incoming jet flight to Missouri. You staggered on your way out, nearly collapsing into your desk chair.

You considered running to the bathroom like you usually did, dousing yourself in cold water and snapping out of it. Instead you closed your eyes and traced the little scars you could find against your ribcage and abdomen.

The smell of coffee wafted over you.

“Hey,” came a small voice, kneeling beside you. “Is it the nails?”

You try to swallow, but it’s thick and sticks to the back of your throat. You just subtly nod instead, slowly opening your eyes.

Reid is there, leaning against your desk and itching to touch you – to comfort you.

“(Y/N),” he said cautiously, “Is this more than a phobia?”

You attempt a deep breath, but it’s shallow in your chest, “I’ll be fine.”

“Maybe we should…”

“Reid,” you say more sternly, “I’m going to be fine. I’m not going to let this hold me back.” You brush him off, standing and straightening your blazer. “I’m gonna go pack.”

Reid let you pass but kept his gaze on you as you left the offices. It must’ve been too full of the longing and worry he felt for you because Morgan and Prentiss were quick to comment on it.

“Hey there, pretty boy,” Morgan said, setting his duffel bag down, “What’s got your attention?”

Prentiss gave a breathy laugh, zipping up her own bag, “Only the object of all his desires.”

“Give it a rest,” he responded, running his fingers through his hair. “You’re not helping.”

“Helping what?” Morgan folded his arms, “You getting out of the friend zone?”

“If she could see the way you just looked at her,” Prentiss sucked in a breath of air that sounded like a hiss, “Maybe she’d see how in love you are.”

“Those big old puppy-dog eyes,” Morgan smiled, “You’re irresistible.”

Reid grumbled, “Something’s wrong.”

“Yeah, the fact you’re wasting time pining when you could be getting some weekend sugar,” Morgan laughed.

“No,” Reid looked away, “There’s something familiar about (Y/N) and I don’t know what it is. Rossi refuses to say anything because he’s protecting her, but I know they have a past. That has to mean she’s been involved in Rossi’s career somehow, whether that’s from a case, or one of his lectures, or as one of his interns. But the fact he doesn’t speak about it means that it’s personal.”

“Okay,” Morgan said, the smile leaving his face, “What do you want to do?”

The corner of Reid’s lip twitched – it usually happened when he was thinking about something difficult, “I don’t know. I guess I hoped she would tell me eventually.”

“But now you’re impatient?” Prentiss asked, brow scrunched, “You want Garcia to look (Y/N) up?”

“No!” Reid said quickly, “I just… I want to help her, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“I thought she just got a little squeamish around needles,” Morgan said, “She needs a second, but then she’s good.”

Reid shoved his hands in his pockets, “I think it’s a trauma response.”

“Well, don’t phobias come from past incidents or traumas?” Prentiss asked, “Couldn’t she have had a bad experience at the doctors as a child getting her flu shot?”

They clearly weren’t as concerned as he was, and Reid sat at his desk, knuckles covering his mouth as he thought.

Morgan shared a look with Prentiss before saying, “Look kid, we worry about (Y/N) too. We’re here for her if she needs it. But we’re not going to go snooping around in her personal business that she would rather keep private.”

“She’s not going to ask for help,” Reid said to himself.

Prentiss pursed her lips, “Then we’ll be here to catch her when she falls.” She gestured to Morgan and the pair of them took their bags to meet by the SUVs, all the while muttering to themselves.

Reid drummed his knuckles against his lips, staring at his computer screen and debating. He could do a simple google search himself, no need to bother Rossi or Garcia with it. With Rossi being involved in some way, there might be a news article somewhere that mentions you.

Hesitantly, looking around for any prying eyes, Reid logged onto his computer and typed in the search engine. He searched for your name. Your name plus FBI. Your name plus David Rossi.

And a string of articles popped up. Newspapers from Arizona, Nevada, and Utah.

Young girls kidnapped, held, tortured, and murdered in the desert. The murderer being coined ‘The Pincushion Killer’ based on his methods. Each victim was repeatedly stabbed with varying sized needles. Starting with acupuncture needles and growing to icepicks. He purposely stabbed his victims in nonthreatening spots of the body, avoiding large blood vessels and major organs. The purpose to draw out their suffering.

Until the day of the murder. He would then puncture an organ of his choice: lungs, stomach, liver, sometimes an artery.

He was never caught. But all nine of his victims were identified. Eight killed. And the ninth survived.

And pasted on the front of every news article said: Pincushion Killer – Victim #9 Survives; Killer Disappears.

Below was a picture of (Y/N).

The ninth victim.

~~~

Taglist: @caswinchester2000 @aria253264 @bippity-boppity-boopa @kaqua @cameleonfrenzy @shyposttree @thatdummy-girl @chiefqueef22 @nicole-survivor @murder-swan​ @nomajdetective​ @mxacegrey​ @cynbx @popeheywardssecretgf @futuremrsspencerreid @dilflover10 @mrskatpotter @holly-the-trash-writer​ @noakroontje

[bvidzsoo]

Chasing your shadows

𓍼 Cherry Blossom, March Event 𓍼

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Outlaw!Kim Hongjoong x Bounty hunter!reader

𓍼 Warning: cursing, violence, guns, mentions of past abuse, slight sexism and misogyny 𓍼 Word count: 11k 𓍼 Rating: nc-17 𓍼 Genre: fluff, soulmates: each day on your arm is a particular event your soulmate will face today (ex. promotion, family death, new pet etc.), outlaw x bounty hunter, Wild West AU, enemies to lovers 𓍼 Summary: What was supposed to be a wild chase after a bounty you had your eyes set on for years now, turns into a life changing event. You had always known your soulmate was never up to any good thanks to the words inked on your inner forearm ever since you were five years old, but you hadn't expected him to be the biggest menace known to the state...or the man you had been relentlessly chasing, trying to catch for the hefty reward promised.

A/N: Hello, my lovelies!! The first drabble of the series is here, ack, I'm so excited to hear your thoughts about all of the drabbles. I'd like to think we had pretty original ideas and tried to write as fluffy stories as possible lol. I don't think I have much to yap about right now, but I'll let you know that I'm obsessed with cowboy/wild west AUs (especially Bouncy era, how can one be over that?? I even went to the concert as a Sheriff(-ish) lol). I hope you enjoy the story and let me know what you thought of it, feedback always feels really nice! Enjoy! ^^ (as a second thought, based on the characters in this story...should I write a Yungi spin-off?? lol, I cannot be helped at this point...) divider @cromernet

𓍼 Join the taglist here! 𓍼

Taglist: @thecarnivaloflies @faeriehwa @mingiatz @kang-ulzzang @xylatox

@mintchocolatto @mintsugarr93 @solaris-amethyst @foxinnie8 @marvolos

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@justconniez @ateezswonderland

                        The earth was still scorching hot even with the merciless sun finally taking its departure for the day, soon to be replaced by the moon, which had more mercy for us mere humans. The nights weren’t cool, but at least the breeze managed to move the otherwise choking hot air that persisted during the day, forcing everyone to sweat immensely. Your thighs were burning, and your hands were sweaty despite you rubbing them off on your pants every now and then, and your stomach growled at the first sight of buildings. You had finally reached the next bigger town. You knew you could do it, but Sheriff Jeong had tried talking you out of it earlier this morning. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in your skills; it’s that he saw you as his little sister and was worried about you. You’ve known each other for many years now, and if it weren’t for his trust and respect for you, you most probably wouldn’t be here now.

Your horse slowed to a strut, no doubt just as thirsty and hungry as you were. You had given him your last three apples hours ago when you had stopped for a little breather under the shade of a lonely tree, not a soul in sight. That’s how most of your adventures went like, it was you and Carlos, your most trusted ally. He was a gorgeous horse, standing taller than any other horse you had known, its ears long and sharp, eyes round and observant, and its feet strong and quick. He was still young, so he was in good shape, and while you could say that about Carlos, your own bones couldn’t relate to that statement. You’d soon be hitting thirty, a prime age for people in these times, and if it wasn’t your body asking you to be kinder to it, then it was Sheriff Jeong reminding you of it continuously. He had it easy, though; he had a loving woman waiting for him at home at the end of each day, cooking him his favourite dishes and running a bath for him. You…you had no one waiting for you in the small cabin you had claimed as yours years ago once you’ve had enough of your father’s abuse. He didn’t let you have anything, not even the little money you saved up by working ungodly hours at the Inn, cleaning up piss and vomit, smiling to sleazy men while delivering their beers to their dirty tables. And then your mother got sick, and you realised she wouldn’t make it if you didn’t make enough money.

In the end, it didn’t matter how much money you had earned for her to get the best treatment, she was gone in under three months. It was then that you decided you didn’t want to live in a house where your father didn’t bother to do anything for himself, taking whatever he could that you had claimed as yours. He was a homeless man now; you’ve seen him around the Townsquare at times, begging for change or a loaf of bread. You didn’t pity him, you just hoped your mother wasn’t disappointed that you had left him behind with nothing but the disgrace that he was. Your eyes surveyed the quiet town as Carlos took the two of you further inside. Older men stood on their porches smoking tobacco they could barely afford. You’ve always found it pathetic when the poor flaunted the wealth they never had, hence why there was nothing to you that you could brag about. Carlos neighed loudly and abruptly stopped, yanking its head low and making you lean over since your fingers were tightly twisted into the reign.

“What is it, handsome?” You whispered as you leaned towards your horse's ear, smiling fondly as you patted its cheek, “Tired? Come on, just a bit more.”

But Carlos just neighed loudly again, turning the heads of those walking past you. The lady had a basket filled with goods, a young boy latched onto her ragged skirt, curious round eyes looking up at you. You paid them no mind as you tried to get Carlos moving again, but your horse was even more stubborn than you and wouldn’t budge. You groaned and threw a leg over the saddle, jumping down with practised ease. The young boy was still looking at you as you patted your horse's rear, tutting your tongue as you tried to get Carlos moving again. Maybe if he saw you walking, he’d get to it too.

“Missy!” A high-pitched voice called out, making your head turn, “Are you new in town?”

“Indeed, I am.” You answered the boy as he and the lady had stopped walking now, both of their eyes filled with curiosity, “Tell me, boy, is any Inn close by?”

It was the lady speaking up, her eyes looking past you, her free hand pointing forward, “See that grand building? Go past it, and you’ll find one half its size; they might have a few free rooms.”

“Many newcomers?” You quirked an eyebrow, prodding without being too obvious. You were here with a purpose, after all, but you couldn’t let anyone know your true intentions just yet.

“Heard some men galloping in last night.” The lady shrugged, grabbing the boy’s hand into hers, “Didn’t look too nice or kind, keep safe, Missy.”

“You too.” You grabbed the front of your cowboy hat and gently lowered it in a respectful greeting. The boy grinned and waved before he was ushered forward, the lady tugging him after herself since he was still gazing at your gorgeous horse. You smiled and walked in front of Carlos, throwing him an amused look, “You heard that, princess? Think you can walk for another five minutes?”

As if you were understood by the horse, it neighed and surged forward, walking ahead of you as you chuckled and shook your head, playfully slapping its rear and making it huff as you decided to follow your horse on feet; you needed the movement. Your lower back and thighs were stiff, neck aching from the rigid position you’ve had to keep while riding all day long. Your throat was parched, and you couldn’t wait to wolf down a jug of water—or beer—but what you wanted the most was to throw yourself in a bathtub filled with lukewarm water and let your muscles melt into it.

As the lady had said, the Inn was half the size of the grand house—a mansion, you came to realise, looking unoccupied at the moment—and it was just like any other Inn you’ve had the pleasure of staying in. The structure looked old and was not in the best condition as you walked around it, trying to find a stable. A boy, around fifteen, seemed to be dozed off as he sat on a hay, a long string of grass falling out of his mouth as he was leaning against the stable door. You chuckled and then cleared your throat, making the boy jump up with heavy eyes.

“Yes?! I am on it!” You raised an eyebrow as you watched the boy fumble around himself without doing anything, and then he froze, slowly looking up at you, “Oh, I didn’t—that’s a gorgeous horse!”

“Think you can keep him safe for me?” You quirked an eyebrow with a grin on your lips, patting Carlos’ cheek. The boy’s eyes went wide as he nodded eagerly, righting his posture and tapping his dirty clothes down.

“Yes, ma’am!” He called loudly, holding his chin high. You smirked, holding the reins out to him.

“Is the Inn full? Got many people in town?” Perhaps the stable boy knew more than the previous lady and child.

“Seven men came in hours ago, ma’am, but the Inn still has some rooms available.” Seven men, he’d said, perhaps you really were in the right place. You smirked, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Perfect, I’ll pay you tomorrow, sound good?” You untied your bag from the backside of the saddle, throwing it around your shoulder, “And not a word to anyone that I’m here, am I clear?”

“Can I ride him?” The stable boy asked as he opened the door, staring with yearning eyes at Carlos.

“Keep my secret, and we’ll see.” You winked, grabbing a slightly melted lollipop from your pocket to toss it at the boy. His eyes glinted as he caught it, veering Carlos inside the stable after him, “Feed him well, my boy is famished and thirsty!”

“Yes, ma’am!” And then you were off to the Inn, smirking to yourself at the presence of six horses inside the stable. So, the gang was here…all you had to do was find them. The town wasn’t as big as the last one you had trailed the outlaws in, you had a feeling you’d finally find him here. It was a feeling you couldn’t explain, but you felt it deep in your stomach like when you were famished.

The Inn had yet to be filled with patrons, but the early birds were already here, downing their beer like it was water, talking loudly for no reason. The woman behind the counter looked sickly and tired, but she still smiled at you when she saw you. You sauntered over, tipping your cowboy hat in a greeting before you took it off, the air feeling cool against your heated hair, “Got a room for me, pretty?”

The girl’s smile widened as she turned, grabbed a key off the wall, and then faced you again, “Ten pennies.”

You laughed, but you were already undoing your satchel tied to your waist, “Isn’t that too much, sweetheart?”

“Aren’t you staying for three days?” She quirked an eyebrow, leaning against the counter and exposing her already visible cleavage. You huffed down another laugh, enjoying the banter as you leaned in just for the fun of it.

“You know where to find me if you need me.” The woman giggled then, letting you take the keys as ten pennies landed on the counter. You wouldn’t try and bargain your way for a lower price since Sheriff Jeong was gracious with the payment before you left on your little hunt. Your satchel was filled with pennies, and you’d have even more by the time you reached your good old town again, “Get me a drink too, I’m thirsty. On the house?”

The woman’s eyes narrowed at your playfulness as you took a seat on a stool, feeling eyes on your back. It wasn’t often that people encountered a woman dressed as a cowboy, the silver pistol with black engravings strapped to your outer thigh rather visible to anyone. What was also rare was a female bounty hunter. Sheriff Jeong took plenty of convincing to finally accept your pleas to send you out on a wild chase, then shocked, but pleased, at your return with the criminal in your hands. The officers had been trying to catch the man for years, and you managed to do it in merely two days. You were a prideful woman, proud of your accomplishments and unafraid to boast about them to men who look at you with little regard and respect. You’d spit in their face and then take them in a gunfight anytime, you knew who’d come out as the winner. There is a reason why Sheriff Jeong places so much trust in you. You’ve never failed him before, and you wouldn’t start now. You smiled as the woman pushed a pint of cold beer towards you, winking as she said, ‘on the house’. With a chuckle, you grabbed the handle of the pint and raised the heavy glass to your lips to finally quench your thirst. You didn’t stop until you had drunk half of it, your throat burning in a good way, the cold extinguishing the fire you felt inside your body. A shiver ran down your back as you slammed the pint back onto the wooden counter, letting out a satisfied sound as you nodded in appreciation. The beer was delicious, or maybe you were just too thirsty.

You hadn’t noticed the man who had taken the stool to your right, leaving one empty between the two of you, but you now felt his sharp gaze on the side of your face, “I’ve never seen a woman wolf down beer that fast.”

You huffed, turning your head to give the man a look. You hadn’t expected him to be so tall with short dark hair and sharp features, his heavily lidded eyes dark and staring sharply at you. His nose was long and his lips were plump, his skin tan, and his face covered by little blemishes and scars. His dark brown leather vest clung to his toned torso like a second skin, showing off his bare arms, his biceps bulging, his shoulders wide and menacing. Much like you, he had a pistol sheathed at the waist, which was small with his leather pants clinging to it tightly, his thighs thick. You wondered how he survived the heat in a full leather-clad outfit, but you weren’t here to find out.

“Intimidated?” You smirked, throwing back the rest of the beer and barely suppressing a loud burp. It was good, you deserved it after the long day you’d had under the hot sun burning your skin, the dust making your lungs ache since you hadn’t worn your scarf for protection. The man laughed, its sound rich and amused, deep like his voice.

“Maybe if you down two more of those, yeah.” His cowboy hat was placed on the dirty counter much like yours, and you hummed, standing up.

“Gotta pass on this one, cowboy. I’ve had a long day.” You winked at him as you grabbed your hat, setting it back on your head with ease. It had been worn for way too long, and it was visible, but you didn’t want to part with it until it hadn’t disintegrated into nothing.

“You a newcomer?” He questioned as he nursed his drink, something darker than your beer, most probably Whiskey. He didn’t look rich, but if his leather gear didn’t scream money, then the expensive drink did.

“And you?” Answering a question with a question was always the way to go when you hoped to pry out information from others. If this pretty man was just a dumb boy, he’d fall for it easily. But maybe you had underestimated him as he smirked, chuckling behind his glass of alcohol.

“Had a long day, too.” Then he tipped his drink back, rasping his knuckles against the counter to ask for a refill, “Rest easy tonight.”

“You too, cowboy.” The man seemed to like being called that as he bit his bottom lip, his eyes taking your form in. You weren’t here for him or to have fun that could potentially distract you, so you took your leave before he could try and hold you back with more useless chit-chat. But your eyes strayed towards his inner forearm as he raised his hand to wave you away jokingly, the bold letters exposed and looking like he had tried tempering with them. He wouldn’t be the first person to do that. Sheriff Jeong’s supposed soulmate refused to look at the words on her inner forearm after finding him, cutting into her skin, and refusing to admit that perhaps something was amiss. But who were you to judge since you knew your soulmate was far from being a good man? You’ve been reading the events inked under your skin that would occur to him ever since you could read, and he’s never once been up to anything good. You found it peculiar what the words on the cowboy’s forearm said, seeing the bounty hunter off on a day like today. You didn’t mean to think of Sheriff Jeong, but that’s exactly what he had done earlier this morning…seeing you off and wishing you luck for your long and dangerous journey.

The stairs felt a bit uneasy underneath your boots as you made your way upstairs, the Inn filling out with more patrons now that the sky had significantly darkened outside. Your room was towards the end of the hallway, and as you pushed the door open to step inside, the one across from yours opened. The man stepping outside wasn’t too tall, his hat tipped so low you could only see his red lips. You paid him no mind as you slammed your door shut and locked it, making sure to keep out any unwanted guests. It wouldn’t be the first time a man felt entitled enough to try and let himself into your room without your permission, promising you foolishly sweet nothings that ended in a beating he’d never forget.

The room was dingy and small, just like any other room at any Inn, and you let your things fall to the wooden floor as you walked towards the windows to push them open, closing your eyes as you were met with the cooling temperature of the evening. You leaned over the windowsill and inhaled deeply, relishing in the moment of quietness and allowing your muscles to ease up, your mind silent for the first time today. Then, you slowly stepped out of your boots and walked towards your bed, peeling off your clothing one by one until you stood naked, groaning at the feeling of nothingness on your skin. It felt like heaven peeling off the sweat-clad clothes, untying your long hair and massaging your scalp as you walked towards the bathroom attached to the room. You were lucky you didn’t have to share it with the others staying at the Inn. You let the water run as you sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring down at your inner forearm. The ink was black and thick, bold letters not too large, staring back up at you. Bar fight was carved under your skin, and you couldn’t help but feel unimpressed. Your soulmate could do something more impressive. Not even three months ago, he hijacked a train and robbed the rich. Coincidentally, days later, it was discovered that it was the outlaw gang you’ve been following for years now, the seven men who had been terrorising the Southern parts of your state.

Knowing you could run out of water anytime now, you quickly got into the bathtub and stood under the spray of lukewarm water, sighing in relief as all the grime was finally washed off your body. The first loud noise got your eyebrows furrowing, but then shouts followed until you could hear glass breaking and manly voices shouting intangible things. You chuckled as you washed your hair out, feeling the need to refresh it. Drunk men were so simple, one wrong look would result in a stand-off, and you could only hope the pretty woman behind the counter wouldn’t get injured in the bar fight downstairs.

            There was nothing better than waking up to complete silence, with the occasional rooster crowing and horses neighing in the distance. But that was back in your town, where you could sleep in unless Sheriff Jeong needed you. The wicked didn’t rest, therefore, you were up before the sun could even rise, sauntering down to the bar. The pretty lady was gone from behind the counter, now replaced by a tall and muscular man, his eyes sharp like knives and rather judgemental. He had given you a one-over before rolling his eyes and knocking on the small window you’d failed to notice last night. Ten minutes later, a sloppy breakfast was pushed in front of you. Some sunny side-ups paired with a rather sad-looking salad—which you were sure was slowly starting to rot away—but food was food. If they didn’t charge you extra, you’d try your luck and ask for a cup of coffee too…if they served fancy stuff like that here. As you ate your breakfast, you subtly surveyed the place, looking for the handsome man from last night. He wasn’t here, not that you had expected him to be, and the bar looked like it went through a rough night. But given the fact that there was a bar fight just a few hours ago, you figured nobody bothered to clean it up since it would end up looking like that again soon.

Having finished your breakfast, you were ready to scoop out the town to get to know the way things worked here and get some intel on the residents and newcomers. Getting information like that was always easy if you played the confused and lost little damsel in distress; men were pathetically desperate to help out any woman who looked at them for long enough. It was hilarious, you tried to keep your grin off your face as the man leaning against the Bank’s wall spoke slowly on purpose, his expression feigning fake worry for your safety.

“Missy, excuse my prodding, you’ve been saying you’re here alone?” An eyebrow arched in your direction, and you smirked, tilting your head.

“Why, sir? Would you like to accompany me?” A trick question, but it always worked getting them off your back.

“Well, since missy seems so lonely and scared—”

You didn’t care for what he had to say, so you didn’t let him finish, “I’m afraid the handsome fella who travels with me wouldn’t be too keen on me bringing a stranger inside our shared room…”

The man paused, his eyebrows furrowing deeply as he looked at you with a new glint in his eyes. Anger. Your smirk grew as you pulled your shoulders back, slapping your cowboy hat back on. Your job here was done with this man.

“Have a lovely day, sir, may we never meet again.” You chuckled under your breath as you tipped your hat in his direction, then quickly left the narrow alleyway before he got any idea on how to make you stay there with him for longer. He wouldn’t be the last nor the first one; men around these towns were desperate for something ‘fresh’. They couldn’t wait to cheat on their wives with whoever rolled into town, even if for a remotely short period. You found your feet taking you further inside the city. Carlos would rest today and hopefully tomorrow, too, if you deemed this town useful of any sort.

You couldn’t tell whether you were in the right place just yet…but there it was that gut feeling again, still persistent to the point there was a buzzing too in your ears. It felt like your inner forearm was suddenly on fire; the words were hidden underneath a scarf you had purposefully wrapped around your naked skin to hide the words petty theft. It was unsurprising that your soulmate was trying his luck yet another time at something that could land him behind bars. The words thrown in prison were yet to be marked underneath your skin, so whoever this criminal was, he was good at whatever he did. You wondered if he’d soon run out of luck, your mind taking you places. How amusing it would be if you were the one to catch him, the thought that he was on the wanted list you were hunting through has crossed your mind more than once before. You couldn’t help but laugh it off every time, especially if Sheriff Jeong was entertaining that thought. Not that he was so much better off…the sole reason why you knew his pretty partner was not his soulmate was because whatever the ink on Jeong Yunho’s forearm said had never been the one his girl was up to that day. Sheriff Jeong and you were in a rather similar position, but he wasn’t ready to admit that just yet.

The marketplace was loud as you walked through the open wooden gates; the place was filled with people despite it being the early morning. In small towns, everyone rose with the sun and went to bed at the first sighting of the moon, living a healthier and perhaps even longer life than those in the bustling towns, greedy for more than they could ever handle. You surveyed the place, your eyes taking in all the people, the eager vendors standing behind their stands, shouting to gather more attention and more buyers. You recognised a few faces already, people who were kind enough to open their doors for you this morning and have a chit-chat. The lady from yesterday with the little boy stood behind a stall filled with freshly baked goods, and you made a mental note to buy a loaf of bread from her on your way home. Maybe you could take her son to ride Carlos later in the day, it was rather obvious that the little boy badly wished to at least touch your gorgeous companion.

Asking around was never the hardest part of your mission, yet there was one downside to it. People would grow suspicious of you if you didn’t do it smartly, so you decided to ask around the elderly instead of the youth, who could easily accuse you of planning a heist or perhaps even an attack on their otherwise serene town. The old lady you had set your eyes on had a wrinkly face and trembling hands as she sat on a small chair, knitting quietly as she hummed a melody. There weren’t many products on display, but the clothing items she handmade looked rather useful for the hot days these regions faced daily. If the price was good, you’d be walking away with a hand-knitted flowy vest and perhaps even more information that would be highly useful right now. You smiled as you approached the stall, letting your fingers run over the soft fabric of the vest you had set your eyes on.

“Mornin’!” You called cheerily, smiling widely at the old lady as she jumped at your sudden arrival.

“Oh, Saints, that scared me.” She chuckled, letting her handiwork rest in her lap as she returned your wide smile, “Mornin’, dear, you’re new in town. Welcome, what brings you around here?”

Leaning your hip against the wooden table, you decided to slip in a bit of truth, “I’m chasing after someone. I have a hunch they might be right here, but other than that, it’s nice to travel to new parts of the state from time to time.”

The woman hummed, a faraway look crossing her features, “I once had the chance to travel the whole world…but then I fell in love.”

You watched the lady rub her covered forearm, turning her head to look at you with sadness in her eyes, “Did you settle down here?”

The old lady hummed, picking up her handiwork to continue it, “Love can be a beautiful but painful feeling. Are you here on your own? Perhaps you’re chasing your soulmate?”

You scoffed but suddenly felt a weird pang in your gut. Could you be chasing your soulmate? It was possible, but what were the chances…here you were again, entertaining that thought. You shook your head and shrugged, keen on changing the topic of the conversation, “I’m just looking for someone. I doubt they are my soulmate. He’s out there somewhere, wreaking havoc in his wake.”

“Those damn outlaws…” The old lady muttered, and your eyes widened slightly, making you chuckle under your breath. There was something about her demeanour that screamed calmness, her hands looked like they’d been through a lot as they were decorated with scars. You were here to find out more about any suspicious movement, though, so you couldn’t focus on small insignificant details about the people living in this town. It’s not like you’d see them ever again, so what was the point of forming bonds that would dwindle out once you left?

“You know anything about them?” You tried to make your voice sound casual, your bottom lip between your teeth as you averted your eyes when the old lady snorted under her breath.

“Who doesn’t, dear?” The old lady huffed, the look in her eyes fiery as she looked up at you, “They always ruin everything, cause carnage and leave suffering behind. If I could, I would still be catching them, but my old joints barely let me walk, let alone run.”

You couldn’t mask your surprise as your eyes widened a little bit, “Were you a bounty hunter?”

“Not quite,” The lady grinned, averting her eyes as her hands worked diligently on the sleeves of the blouse in her lap, “I helped the Sheriff catch felons a few times, but I was never brave enough to become a bounty hunter. It seemed like too much effort and danger, plus I couldn’t deal with all the mocking that already came due to me working with the Sheriff…”

“Right,” You hissed, venom slipping into your tone, “People are like that, stupid cunts.”

The old lady started laughing loudly, her lips pulled into an amused grin as she looked up at you, shaking her head, “You must hate a lot of people, then.”

You huffed with a nod, not bothering to confirm what she already knew, “Did you notice anyone suspicious coming into town these past days?”

“So, you’re a bounty hunter, then.” The old lady hummed to herself, resting her handiwork in her lap once again, her eyebrows furrowed as she looked off into the distance, “I can’t say, I don’t walk around much, but my nephew told me he’d seen men riding around just by the border as if they were scooping out the place, or something of the likes. There’s nothing much by the borders, so I wouldn’t know why they were there specifically.”

“To check the exits and set up any traps for those who would try and follow.” You smirked, mentally jotting down this new piece of information. This old lady had been more useful in just a few minutes than all the cocky men you had to listen to this morning, trying to woo their way into your pants instead of sharing valuable information.

“Brilliant,” The lady huffed, shaking her head in disdain, “Tell you what, dear…but you didn’t hear it from me, alrigh’?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and then you moved closer as the woman beckoned you to her height with a wave of her hand. Your toes curled, and your heart raced in excitement at the prospect of finding out even more about the possible outlaws residing in the town, and you couldn’t help but quickly crouch down and stare at the lady with sparkling eyes full of curiosity. The old lady chuckled at your behaviour, and you almost flinched when she patted your cheek, her grey eyes running over your features.

“You’re a gorgeous one, dear, take care of yourself,” She hummed, then looked around before she leaned in too, her voice low, “Two days ago, around midnight, I couldn’t sleep, so I went to smoke on the veranda. I live close to the border, and there are few houses around, yet I heard voices coming from the abandoned stable on my property. It wasn’t anyone I knew and not someone from the town. I swear on what I have most precious! There were two men, based on the different tones in voice, and they were talking about a hit—more like arguing—I couldn’t tell what the fight was about, they heavily disagreed if staying in this town was smart or not. The one with a sharper tone kept denying that they were being chased, and the other one kept pressing they’d get caught if they didn’t lay low for a bit…do what you will with this, darlin’, I don’t know more.”

The lady could only stare at your wide smirk, your body almost vibrating as your suspicions were now one hundred percent confirmed. The outlaws were in this town, you’d finally catch Kim Hongjoong, and he had no idea you were so close to putting him behind bars, taking the hefty payment you deserved after all these years of chasing after him and his band of baboons. You grabbed the lady’s hand and pressed an appreciative kiss against her knuckles before standing, grabbing the vest you had set your eyes on, “Could you hold on to this for me for a bit longer? I’ll come back for it in a few hours.”

“I leave before noon, darlin’; you better return before that!” You chuckled and tipped your cowboy hat in her direction before turning around and walking off, trying to remember where you had seen the store that looked like they had supplies you could use rather soon. You were passing just by the stall where the lady from yesterday was, and you stopped to buy some fresh bread, but your eyes caught something peculiar. There were more people around her stall, amongst them the tall and handsome man from the Inn, so she couldn’t pay attention to everyone at once. That wasn’t the issue, however; it was the shorter man sneaking pastries into his satchel bag, moving slowly yet somehow lithe at the same time. You chuckled to yourself and found yourself walking towards him, stopping right behind him, your hand shooting out to wrap around his warm wrist. The man froze, his whole body tensing up as he whipped his head around, but you couldn’t see his face well due to the cowboy hat he was also wearing. He didn’t seem much taller than you, though. You wondered for a second if you had seen him somewhere before.

“Did you think no one would notice?” You wouldn’t have meddled, but you figured the young lady needed to fend for herself and her son somehow. And if some petty thief stole some precious buns, she wouldn’t make as much as on a regular day. You couldn’t let that happen.

“Not many cares around here.” The man hissed back, his tone on the shrill side, but it was raspy as he tried to yank his wrist free. Your fingers only tightened around his skin, making you smirk when the man couldn’t exactly break free.

“Well, I do. If you don’t cause a scene, I’ll be more lenient with you.” The man scoffed, his voice filled with amusement as you saw him glancing to the side, making you look too, only to find the handsome man turning away. Your eyes narrowed as you wondered whether the two knew each other, but before you could dwell more on it, your foot was being stomped on, and you jumped back with a shout of pain. People looked your way, startled, and as if to mock you, the thief grabbed another hot bun before booking it, his laughter loud and amused as your teeth gritted, taking off after him before anyone could react. The lady’s calls sounded confused, and those who realised it was a thief you were chasing tried to help by jumping in front of the criminal, but he was fast. He was way too fast and way too light on his feet as he twisted his body almost in an enchanting way whenever someone went to grab him from the side. He was cackling still; you could hear it louder now that you were gaining on him, and he jumped over the wooden fence and turned sharply to the left, scurrying down an empty, muddy street.

You hissed under your breath and jumped the fence too, your feet almost tangling when you landed again, your pace thrown off. You weren’t too athletic despite chasing criminals for a living, and you cursed the petty thief as he pushed barrels over to make it harder for you to chase after him. But you weren’t giving up; your quick thinking got you jumping on crates and over the rolling barrels, and your eyes locked in on the chain hanging from a building. You didn’t even consider whether it could hold your weight as you lunged for it, your hands tangling into the hot chains, your body swinging in the air as you kicked your legs back and sent yourself forward. The man had glanced back while you were in the air, completely missing that you were mostly above his head now, and slowed his run into more of a strut. You grinned in triumph as you timed your jump smartly, the chains rattling loudly as you released them and kicked forward, making the criminal raise his head jerkily. You had just a few seconds to take in his features, at least what was visible since the lower half of his face was covered by a bandana, his cowboy hat disguising the upper half of his head. His eyes, however, somehow managed to burn into the back of your mind despite the brief glance into them.

They were sharp, small, attentive, and so much cat-like that it made you wonder whether the man had grown up with cats and bizarrely started taking after them. They were pretty eyes, a dark brown that felt like it burned your own ones before the man twisted around and tried to make a run for it again, but your feet were already colliding with his back, sending him harshly to the ground as you tumbled just a little to the side of him, your groan matching his. Your right elbow throbbed as you landed on it funny, but when the man tried to get up, you kicked into action again and got onto his back, straddling him and pinning him to the dirty ground by the hips. He hissed and tried to throw you off, but you knew how to distribute your weight, so he was rendered motionless. It was hilarious to watch him try to fight you off until, suddenly, he went stiff.

“What? Is that it all?” You mocked, your tone laced with amusement, “You looked like you had more fight in you.”

The man didn’t answer much to your dismay, it wasn’t fun if your hostage wasn’t a bit sassy. You noticed the man didn’t have a weapon on him, at least not visible, and his dark blue shirt’s sleeves were rolled up to expose his forearms due to the heat. His vest was old, much like yours, and it hugged around his pretty waist, his trousers a dark brown and soft under your fingertips as you found yourself lightly grazing the fabric. You stopped when you realised you were being a creep, but there was a sudden pull to the man that made you want to touch him. It was peculiar…you mostly liked staying away from male specimens, unless it was Sheriff Jeong, but this one got your interest piqued for an unexplainable reason. You gulped and grabbed the strap of his satchel bag, yanking it a bit and making the man groan. His hands were pressed to the ground, and he was motionless still, his head turned to the side, but you couldn’t see his profile due to his cowboy hat.

“You’ve got something here that you’ll be returning.” You said as you yanked on the strap again, making the man gruff out something under his breath. Your eyebrows furrowed as your eyes narrowed, and you leaned just a bit closer, “What was that?”

The man said something lowly again, and you were getting irritated by his lack of answer…at least one that you could hear, “Speak up, cowboy, or did you bite your tongue during your fall?”

“I said, I’d like to see you try, skivvy.” Your eyebrows furrowed at the blatant insult, your anger exploding inside you out of nowhere. You were good at controlling yourself, but this just felt absolutely uncalled for and way too derogatory, coming from a criminal. You huffed, loudly and clearly offended, clenching and unclenching the fingers of your right hand, debating whether you should punch the man to teach him a lesson. But he spoke up before you could make a choice, “What? No more mocking?”

And as you sucked in air through your teeth, deciding to punch the man, indeed, his head suddenly flew backwards while his hips kicked up strongly, and you were thrown off balance as the back of his head collided with your forehead. It didn’t hurt since he was wearing the hat, and you weren’t too close to his head, but it was enough to jostle you off the man. Suddenly, your whole world was spinning as your back hit the ground hard, weight settling over your hips as the sharp eyes were now staring down at you, obscuring the blistering sun. You realised your cowboy hat was knocked off in the ordeal, the man’s fingers twisted into the hair on the back of your head, not tugging, but warning enough. His other hand had your collarbones pressing down, and you grabbed his wrist, glaring up at him.

“You must be so proud of yourself right now.” Your tone was sarcastic as the man chuckled under the bandana covering his face, and you could see the blatant amusement dancing in his eyes. You would bet on your cowboy hat that he was smirking, too.

“You aren’t the smartest pea in the pond.” Another low blow that got your blood pumping faster, nostrils flaring from anger.

“What makes you smarter? You literally needed a distraction to free yourself.” You fired back, your jaw clenching. For some reason, freeing yourself was a distant thought in your mind, even though it would’ve been comically easy. He didn’t restrict your hands, you could punch him, scratch him, even try and push him off.

“Right, and all you needed to free me was a distraction.” Well, that spurred you into action, your fist rising, but he caught your flying hand before it could fully raise. He tsked under his bandana, and you felt your cheeks heat up from both annoyance and embarrassment. This hadn’t happened before; men rarely managed to outsmart you or even overpower you, and what was most embarrassing was the fact that the criminal wasn’t even attempting to keep you subdued. It was your body that suddenly didn’t want to fight back, your heart racing while your muscles relaxed. To be fair, the man wasn’t making it difficult either; it was as if he found this fight amusing and was holding you still because he took pleasure in it.

“Well then, there’s nothing to brag about to your pals.” And suddenly, it felt like you were both just measuring dicks as to who was better at this and that, it was downright humiliating, but your mouth wouldn’t shut up, “You went down embarrassingly easily, I could headbutt you right now and you’d pass out instantly.”

The man laughed, his cat-like eyes scrunching up in amusement, “Well then? What are you waiting for?”

“A distraction.” You smirked and watched as the man’s eyes narrowed at you. You bucked your hips and twisted to the side, easily throwing the man off yourself. It wasn’t even hilarious anymore, just how easy it was to get him off, but it felt as if he wasn’t really trying to fight you. And why was that? You threatened to hand him to the Sheriff of the town, did he think he could get away with it? But he recovered quickly; he was up on his feet in a blink, and you were moving too, not about to let him go. You caught his arm and twisted it around, pinning it to his back as you held the man’s chin from behind, his back pressed to your chest.

“I have to admit,” The man’s voice was lower, filled with amusement and poorly timed seduction, “I’ve never been manhandled by a woman before. It’s kinda hot.”

“Shut up,” You hissed, looking for the rope usually around your waist to tie criminals up in situations like this one.

“Looking for this?” The man sing-songed, and your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up again, his left hand holding the exact rope that should’ve been on your waist. That, however, wasn’t exactly what got your heart racing while your ears rang loudly, blood going cold. Chasing a criminal was inked under the man’s fair skin on his forearm, as clear as day, glaring back at your gaping expression, “See? You shouldn’t discredit me so much, darlin’.”

“Shut up.” You hissed, snapping yourself out of your delusional thoughts as you wondered whether it was him. But there was no way this man right in front of you was your soulmate. Jostled by the thought, you pushed him forward and watched as he braced himself before he could fall into the building’s stone wall, quick on his feet as he turned around. You were about to say something, you should’ve said something, but you were instead gaping at him, plotting how to rip his bandana off. The man wasn’t moving either, for some reason, he was closely watching your expression, his eyes landing on your covered forearm. You were smarter than him with that, at least. An explosion resounded in the distance, and you both jumped, your eyes wide when you realised it had come from the market.

“Would you look at that?” The man laughed, tipping his cowboy hat forward before he winked, “That’s my cue to go.”

And before you could lunge for him, he was already sprinting back down the way you had come, and for some reason, you didn’t chase after him. You looked down at the ground and bent down to grab your cowboy hat and rope, wondering whether the man you had just caught might have been your soulmate. Your gut twisted oddly, and you gulped, your jaw clenching as you took the way you had come, going back to the market to find out what the explosion was all about. At least you could’ve snatched his satchel bag to return all those hot buns.

           Your heart raced as you sprung up from the bed, eyes falling on the open window. You had forgotten to close it last night, and now your skin was covered in goosebumps as a chilly breeze blew inside. It had gotten significantly colder yesterday evening, making you cosy up underneath the blanket, your body tired from the day you’ve had. Your forehead was covered in a sheen layer of sweat, and you tapped it down with your arm, slowly realising that your forearm was burning. You lowered your arm and turned it around, staring at the inked words unblinking. Bank robbery. You gulped, suddenly feeling a hollowness in your chest as your eyebrows furrowed. The outlaws that were in this town…so was it one of them? Your soulmate—was it one of the outlaws? You gulped, your heart suddenly racing as you threw the blanket over your feet and sat on the edge of your bed, caressing your skin gently. In moments like this one, you wished your soulmate was a country boy, a farmer, a simple mine worker, anything but a criminal. What you did for a living didn’t mesh well with your soulmate’s profession, and you knew Sheriff Jeong would never understand you.

His soulmate was an outlaw too, judging based on the inked words on his inner forearm, and he had loathed his partner before even meeting them. You, on the other hand, couldn’t share the sentiment. You were displeased, of course, you were, but you’ve spent your whole life lonely and watching couples from afar, wondering what it felt like to finally find your soulmate, to reunite with them for an eternity. Nobody would’ve guessed, but deep down, you dreamed of a romance like in the old folk tales. You wished to be madly in love, blinded by it to the point that you couldn’t breathe if your soulmate wasn’t next to you. You winced as the ink felt like it was splitting your skin in two, making you wonder what was causing such a reaction since it’d never happened before. You knew today would be a long day, and you also knew you had to face the consequences of your soulmate’s actions. You knew you had a hard decision ahead of yourself, but you prayed to any existent deity that your soulmate wouldn’t be the worst of the worst. Maybe he was part of the outlaw gang you’ve been chasing, maybe he was just a local from this town, trying to make amends. Committing so many crimes wasn’t an excuse, but if he was doing it to fend for himself and his poor family, you’d let it slide. With a heavy sigh, you dragged yourself off the bed and went inside the bathroom, well aware of your next step.

The market had been a mess of panicked people by the time you had reached it yesterday, but you were glad to hear nobody was injured. Someone had set fire to an unoccupied table before the first small granite had gone off, making a store’s windows explode since it was ignited right underneath it. The old lady was shaken when you had checked in with her, and you decided to accompany her home after you bought more bread than was necessary from the lady with the little boy. You had searched for the handsome stranger’s face in the crowd, but he was nowhere to be seen, much like the thief you’ve had the chance to catch but hesitated. You weren’t pleased with yourself, but your body had refused to cooperate when you needed it most. Now, however, you knew what was the right thing to do. You didn’t want to draw even more attention to yourself, so after a quick trip to the stable to make sure Carlos was still there, healthy and safe, you took off on foot towards the Bank. It was rather close since it was in the heart of the town, and you had decided to stake out in front of it, sitting at a cafeteria.

Their coffee was overpriced and not as good as back in your town, but it would do for now. You weren’t here to enjoy a cup of coffee, after all, but to keep your eyes on the Bank and observe who came and went. You had an eye for telling the locals and newcomers apart; it was their way of dressing and conversing, of looking at ease, versus the gorgeous man with red hair who looked fidgety as he walked towards the Bank. He was wearing rather hand-me-down robes, trying a bit too hard to fit in with the crowd. It made him look even more obvious, and you smiled as you realised you had caught the first suspicious person. He walked inside the Bank, and you wondered whether it was him or not, subconsciously rubbing your forearm. You wore no sleeves today, and you made no effort to cover your arm up. It was time you faced whatever the Universe had in store for you if you came across your soulmate.

You took a sip of your coffee just as a large horse galloped right into the middle of the square, coming to a stop in front of the Bank. You realised with elation that it was the handsome man from the Inn, his sharp eyes narrowed as he surveyed the place. You quickly lowered your head and pretended to be interested in the newspaper by your cup of coffee, having forgone your cowboy hat today as you knew it would attract unwanted attention. You kept your leather pants, however, and borrowed a sleeveless shirt from the pretty girl behind the bar. She was rather eager to lend it to you after you offered her a soaring kiss, one she certainly wouldn’t forget. When you deemed it safe to look up again, you realised the handsome man was moving on, the redhead having just left the building. Your eyes narrowed, and you watched as a short-haired buff man approached your target, throwing an arm around him and casually walking off with him. You were determined to sit there all day long if it meant catching the outlaws red-handed, but that thought was quickly changed when a motorcar pulled up in front of the Bank, its engine running loudly.

A rather tall man with gorgeous long black hair stepped out, keeping the door open for someone…and your eyes widened. It was the same man from the market, the thief, the one you had chased! Your heart lurched, and your hand shook as you loudly placed your porcelain cup on the small plate, leaning forward in your seat as if that would help you see the two men better. They didn’t seem to exchange any words between each other, just a nod of a head before the long-haired man confidently walked up to the Bank’s entrance, smiling gratuitously as the door was opened for him, the other one sneaking off to the side of the building. Something in your gut told you to get up and go after the shorter one, his outfit almost the same as yesterday except that his vest was missing and an obvious pistol was lodged in his pants against his lower back. You stood and left your unfinished cup of coffee behind, making sure the road was safe as you crossed it in a run, keeping your eyes on the thief. He walked down the narrow alleyway, his gloved fingers tracing the wall before he turned the corner, making you hurry up since you didn’t know what the back of the building hid.

You made sure your steps were light and silent, and you found your fingers tracing the same spots the criminal had too, your cheeks flushing red in embarrassment. You yanked your hands away and let them lay limply by your sides as you pressed up against the building to peek around the corner. The man was smoking, a tobacco dangling from his lips, but you couldn’t see his face since his cowboy hat was pulled down low again. Much like you, he hadn’t bothered hiding his forearm, and you had a burning curiosity to know what the ink said. You flinched as a door you hadn’t noticed was there was thrown open, the hiss of a voice beckoning your target inside. The man chuckled and didn’t bother putting out his tobacco, and you were quick on your feet as the door started shutting quickly behind the man. You managed to wadge your foot inside before it could close, and realising you probably didn’t have much time to act, you flung the door open as you took a deep breath. Almost as if the man sensed he was being followed, he was leaning against a table facing the door, tobacco put out and a smirk on his red lips. You froze, your heart nervously skipping a beat, and the man chuckled.

“You are not as sleek as you think you are, bounty hunter.” You gulped, watching the man as he chuckled under his breath. You felt like you couldn’t speak, too focused on the burning sensation of your arm and the racing of your heart, “Mingi saw you leaving this morning and figured something wasn’t right. You have a pretty pistol, but it screams Sheriff.”

And he was right, Sheriff Jeong had gifted it to you many years ago. It was custom-made and expensive, resembling the one most officers used. You gulped, suddenly not as brave as you used to be. The criminal, however, seemed to have more to say, “We met yesterday too, thanks for not turning me in. Those buns were delicious, by the way. Did you get some for yourself?”

Your jaw clenched, eyes narrowing, “No, because you stole them all.”

The outlaw chuckled, shrugging his shoulders, “What can I say…I have six mouths to feed.”

“Is the food at the Inn not good enough?” You quirked an eyebrow, suddenly realising why he had seemed familiar yesterday. The day you had arrived in town and had gone up to your room, the man leaving the one across from yours had been this man, the outlaw. All this time, he was right under your nose. You felt your heart rate rise in anger, your fists clenching by your sides.

“Meh, I’ve certainly had worse.” The man pushed off the table, fearlessly stalking towards you, “But what’s the fun in following the rules? I love a little chaos.”

“I know.” The words slipped out your mouth before you could catch yourself. Did you know? Something in your gut told you that yes, you did know, you’ve known your whole life.

“You do?” The man raised an eyebrow, stopping a few inches in front of you. Tackling him to the ground would be easy, but your body refused to move just yet, “How come?”

“How do you know I’m a bounty hunter?” You answered his question with a question, your heart racing as you could see the man’s lips pull into an amused smirk. You were itching to see his whole face, your fingers trembled at the thought of knocking his cowboy hat back to see his face. You gulped, waiting for his answer as the man shrugged, tilting his head slightly.

“I’ll call it a hunch, I guess.” And then, you gasped as he jumped forward all of a sudden, pressing you up against the door. You hadn’t expected him to attack you, but you finally snapped out of your frozen state and took action. You yanked your head to the side as his fist came towards your face, slightly thrown off guard that he could so easily punch a woman. Perhaps he saw it on your face because he chuckled, his left hand tightening around your bicep, “My apologies, sugar, did you think I didn’t hit women?”

“My mistake for considering you a gentleman.” You hissed under your breath and took a left swing at his face, which he easily dodged. It felt just like yesterday, with pointless punches thrown at each other with no intention of harming the other. Your body had never acted on its own like this before, and you wondered why it was happening now of all times.

“Never mistake an outlaw for a gentleman, sugar.” The man chuckled as you managed to free your left arm and elbowed him in the neck, the man making a choked-up sound. You shook him off yourself and went to kick his legs out of underneath him, but he managed to avoid your kick even as he clutched at his neck. Your next punch, however, he couldn’t deflect as he was busy getting his breath back, and his head flew to the side, knocking his cowboy hat off. You didn’t wait for him to recover as you got behind him and pushed him, throwing your arm around his neck once he was hunched over, putting him in a headlock. The man’s eyes were wide as he grabbed your arm, his nails digging painfully into your exposed skin. You turned your head, needing to see the face of the man, only to freeze in shock.

“Kim Hongjoong?” Your voice was barely a whisper, but your faces were so close next to each other that he heard you. He chuckled, gulping hard as his eyes fell on your face, a satisfied smirk still on his lips.

“Surprise, sugar, no bounty hunter’s managed to catch me before.” You felt speechless as you felt all of your hard work finally come to fruition. You had Kim Hongjoong in your arms, at your mercy, your pockets full of coins that would last you and the next generation if you spent it wisely once you handed the criminal over to the Sheriff, “Close your mouth before a fly flies inside.”

Your cheeks burned, and you felt your arm lightly soften against his neck, but then you quickly snapped out of it and willed yourself to focus. The man was gorgeous; none of those sketches did his beauty justice. His sharp features weren’t as intimidating as the handsome stranger’s from the Inn—who was part of his outlaw band, now you realised—but his eyes held danger, a promise of pain and unforgiveness. You gulped, tracing his nose and red lips, your eyes lingering on them, and you felt your tongue poking out to wet your own lips. The outlaw, Hongjoong, hummed to himself and touched your cheek with his left hand, making you jump.

“Bank robbery.” You heard him whispering, his eyes glancing down at the forearm exposed to him since you had him in a headlock with your left hand, “Peculiar, isn’t it?”

You gulped nervously, your heart racing even faster as you allowed your eyes to fall onto his own exposed forearm now that his arm was outstretched, his fingers grazing your cheek. Finally catching the outlaw. You gasped and pushed Hongjoong away, a coldness seeping deep into your bones despite the scorching hot air inside the dimly lit room. Hongjoong looked at you apprehensively, watching you as if you were a rabid animal, analysing your features and body language. You didn’t know what to do or how to react; it all felt too much, too overwhelming. Why did you have to be right? Where was Sheriff Jeong to make fun of your fate and tell you it was just a joke all along? Why was Kim Hongjoong your soulmate, and why did your body yearn so desperately for his touch again? It felt hard to breathe as your eyes filled with tears, and you didn’t want to break down, but it suddenly felt like you weren’t so alone anymore.

“Oh, don’t cry, sweetheart.” And when you felt arms around your body, you started crying hard, your body shaking with sobs as your fingers curled into his shirt, squeezing Hongjoong to yourself, “It’s alright, I’m here now.”

“You’re a terrible person.” You managed to get out as you were still crying, blinded by the tears in your eyes as you tried to look at his face, “You steal from people, you hurt others, you’ve killed too, I—and I had to sit through all of that, wondering all this time why was I fated to a man like you. Why is it you, Kim Hongjoong? I was supposed to bring you back to the Sheriff, I was supposed to get rich off of you—I—I’ve been chasing you for so long, it’s unfair!”

Your tears subsided as your anger won over, and you pushed Hongjoong away, staring at him with a glare as his jaw clenched, his eyebrows furrowing, “I’ve been wondering too why I was fated with someone who wanted to catch me, harm me perhaps, hand me over to live a miserable life.”

A deafening silence fell over the two of you as the realisation settled in that Hongjoong might’ve been feeling the same conflicting emotions as you were. Your heart raced in the excitement that you had finally found your soulmate, finally feeling complete, but your brain told you that you could still come out of this victoriously, that you could hand him in and live a life alone…it’s what you were used to after all.

“It’s not too late to walk away,” Hongjoong muttered quietly, caressing the ink on his skin, his gulp loud, “We won’t harm you if you leave us alone, I promise—”

“Are you telling your own soulmate to walk away? To leave you alone after I finally found you?!” Your voice was rising in anger, and Hongjoong flinched, glancing behind you.

“Let’s keep it down or else we’ll be discovered,” He suggested and took a step closer, his eyes analysing your face once again. You gulped when he didn’t stop approaching you and almost flinched when he reached out, his warm fingers grazing your cheek again, “Don’t you hate me?”

“I hate what you are and that you’ve made me chase you for so long that I was forced to be alone for thirty years.” You whispered, eyebrows furrowing as Hongjoong’s fingers traced your eyebrows down to your nose, under your eyes and then your lips, his gulp loud.

“You’re beautiful,” He whispered with a smile, stepping even closer to you, your faces just a breath away, “Come with me, learn my world, let me show you the brighter side of it.”

“That’s not who I am, Hongjoong.”

“No? Then who are you?”

You gulped, letting the question settle in your mind. Who were you? What did you have besides Sheriff Jeong and a house you had forcefully claimed as yours? You were nothing but a lonely woman hunting down criminals because it filled your time and distracted you from the void in your chest, a void that was no longer eating away at your heart.

“Promise you’ll never leave me. Promise you’ll keep me safe,” You gulped, already dreading the sudden twist of your future. Were you doing the right thing right now? Was this the smart choice? “Promise you’ll never hurt Sheriff Jeong.”

“I promise to keep you safe and never leave you, not now that I’ve found you.” Hongjoong chuckled then, cupping your jaw gently as shouts came from behind the door. You tensed, but Hongjoong didn’t seem phased by it, “And I won’t hurt Sheriff Jeong, even though I wonder who that is…”

“Not just you, your whole gang.” Your eyebrows furrowed as Hongjoong traced your bottom lip with his thumb, smirking at himself.

“Okay, fine, no one will hurt the Sheriff.” You hummed, eyes widening when Hongjoong closed the distance and pressed his warm lips against yours, tasting like the homemade meal your mother used to make that you loved so much. Hongjoong felt like home, like coming home after a long day and falling into your bed, knowing it always had your back, always would be there for you. These comparisons felt silly as you kissed him back, fingers tangling in his black hair, but they were everything you’d always wished for.

A sudden explosion outside made you yelp, and Hongjoong smirked, letting go of you to grab his cowboy hat, extending his hand for you to take, “Well, that’s our cue, sweetheart. We better get going before the Sheriffs get here.”

You knew Sheriff Jeong would hate you for an eternity for accepting the outlaw’s extended hand, but there was nothing you could do when your soulmate was grinning at you with mischief and wickedness in his eyes, so confident and proud as your fingers intertwined.

© HONGJOONGSPOETRY & BVIDZSOO 2025 - All rights reserved. Copying, editing, reposting or translating our work is not allowed.

[mrs-starkgaryen]

Maggie I'm sorry I didn't write this essay, as you know I was not impressed with how the last chapter went 😭😂

Me as I read chapter 5:

This is a long one so get comfy, have a drink and listen- 📖

1. When Baela wanders out of the bathroom in a fuzzy purple robe and a gale of steam, she finds you dressed in your grey work uniform and sprinkling a packet of flower food you got from the Rite Aid down the street into the vase of sunflowers. You are smiling to yourself; you can’t seem to stop.

A) she just sounds as if she's on an advert for something 😫 or modelling on the cat walk, amongst the smoke machines. Like effortlessly cool, you what I mean?

B) like she's always model ready and glam. Like she's always camera ready 📷📸

C) whereas sunshine is in grey and buying things from a cheap shop (I presume?)

D) aw she's cock drunk in love, cute

2. “Heyyyyy!” Baela says, slow and salacious, hoping for interesting stories. You very rarely have any to share. “How’d the Maroon 5 shoot go? Not so bad, right?”

A) I'm getting vibes from B, she sounds okay sometimes but totally fake the other times- Hollywood baby, gotta be careful who u trust

B) and it went absolutely great

3. “It was good.” You rearrange the sunflowers, pruning any leaves that have begun to wilt. Daylight streams in through the windows; outside you can see power lines, palm trees, a shopping center featuring—among other things—a Starbucks, World Star Vape, and Carl’s Jr.

A) Sunshine is trying to keep a dying thing alive- like her dreams? Her need to be constantly happy? Her ‘cursed’ relationship with Aegon?

B) Everything Is sunny & happy & lively … for now

C) 3 places with addicting things or quick fixes… like a certain relationship? For both parties?

4. “And you survived the bathtub thing, I see.” Her tone implies that you were ridiculous to ever fear you wouldn’t, childish, ignorant, histrionic.

A) How condescending

B) Some people are different and Sunshine shouldn't have to go through that to get famous

C) It's sad to think some actors/actresses would have had to

5. “What?” She reaches into the refrigerator and removes a plastic bowl full of raspberries, sets it down on the kitchen counter, eats absentmindedly as she stares at you. “Really? Why not?”

A) What a healthy choice

B) is She just programmed To eat healthy like for HW aesthetic? (Couldnt be me)

C) Rather have doughnuts

6. You shrug, a little shy but desperately wanting to tell somebody, because that will make it real. Blood burns in your face. “Aegon saved me.”

A) Don't tell B

B) Aw Sunshine is so cute, she thinks of Aegon as her Prince or Knight in shining armour

C) But will he just remove the helmet and show that hes not the hero she thought he was

7. Baela’s eyes narrow and her brow crinkles. You find yourself—as you often do—casually in awe of the smoothness of her skin, the perfect arches of her eyebrows, her expressiveness that is never inelegant. She chews her raspberries very slowly. “Seriously?”

A) She always seem perfect, HW ready

B) Drop the skincare Routine girl

C) Shes angry chewing 😭

8. Her jaw drops open; there’s berry juice on her teeth like blood. “How? Where?!”

A) She Sounds like a predator animal with Sunshine in her sights

B) More untrustworthy vibes

C) I reckon she might screw Sunshine over by telling the tabloids about her Relationship with Aegon, to level uo her career. Or does it out of anger when ss gets more famous than her? Sabotage?

D) pretends to be a friend but is a villain in the end, like Scream

9. “No, remember, he’s not married. He’s just engaged.”

A) Yeah!😠…😶… yeah🫠…

B) I love you SS, but that's not the hair that we should be splitting…

10. “It’s the same thing!” Baela exclaims, and she has completely forgotten about her raspberries. “You’re a cheater, how does that make you feel?”

A) Can't argue with B on this, still bad

B) Lets be a bit nicer to SS please, she's just a baby (but she does need telling)

11. You shake your head; she doesn’t understand. “I know it sounds bad, but when I’m with Aegon…he’s just so…he’s so protective and he’s smart and he’s brave and he actually believes in me, he’s the only person who doesn’t think I’m hopeless and delusional, and he’s always trying to help me, and there’s something about when we’re together that just feels…magical!”

A) Girl, SS, write some fanfic, geez 😅

B) She in love love

C) She in love love (like me)

D) Also me when I try to excuse men's behaviours on dating sites 🙄

12. “Of course it’s magical!” Baela bursts out, and now Jace is peeking blearily out of her bedroom, his dark curls in disarray. “He’s a fuckboy, that’s what they do! He gives you some otherworldly encapsulated experience that leaves you dickmatized but it’s not real, because then he goes home and he does the same thing with his soon-to-be-wife, and then the next day he’s probably hooking up with some other impressionable starstruck client, and you’re standing here thinking you have something special with him when he’s already onto the next girl!”

A) You've woken the baby (Jace), B

B) Dickmatized- don't we all want that to be that

C) So… weird thought but has something Like that happened to B with a manager or dare I say it, Aegon?

D) Or does she know him better than we think?

13. You can’t imagine that being true, and yet you wonder without wanting to: why did he have condoms in his desk drawer? “I don’t think he’s happy with Becca.”

A) i asked about the condoms!! It was sus

B) Me with all my celebrity crushes- “I don't think he's happy with [ ]

C) also what condoms does he use? 👀

14. You look down at your shoes, uninspired white Skechers for work, ashamed. “I guess not.”

A) Woah I wear white sketchers Mags

B) They're comfy lol

15. “Who talks shit about Jace?” Jace asks from the doorway of her bedroom.

A) poor Jace

B) But also maggie does- I've seen what she does to your in fanfics… 👀

16. “—They say he’s a hobosexual and lazy and jobless and whatever, but that man is loyal, he doesn’t even look at other women, and I wouldn’t trade him for anybody. Because apparently it’s extremely fucking rare to find someone who won’t get naked for the first stranger who promises to make all their wildest dreams come true.”

A) Jace just standing there like-

B) It's okay Jace, I know you're better than that (Im actually looking forward to your future fic)

17. .. you remember years ago finding the emails between your father and that hospital intern, and you marvel at how easy it is to fixate on one star and lose sight of the constellation.

A) The last line 😘👌

B) We all make mistakes but she's only done it the once… but will it stay like that? 👀

C) It's easy to judge until you're in that position..

18. Baela tosses the empty plastic bowl into the kitchen sink—it rattles harshly there—and casts you a hard glare as she stalks towards her bedroom in her purple bathrobe. “I am so disappointed in you.”

A) Plastic, plastic, plastic- v much like HW

B) Easy to throw away… Careless of what she does and who she hurts (my tabloid theory)

C) Alright mum sheesh

19. Baela stops and turns around, and now her face is all pity, like you’re too pathetic to stay mad at, like you aren’t cognizant enough to be held responsible. “Yeah. We’re still going to see the fireworks.”

A) Me with my dog, can't stay mad at my baby

20. “Jace can stay here when I’m in Paris, right?” Baela asks. “He swears he’ll vacuum and take the garbage out and stuff. And you know he won’t fill up the sink with dirty dishes, he basically only eats takeout.”

A) Oh so he is capable of looking after himself..

B) SS please make him a proper meal, he needs nutrition

C) I hope SS and Jace bond whilst B ain't there, like best besties but will that only upset Aegon more if he finds out?

21. All afternoon as you are bent low scraping scoops of ice cream out of the freezer and mashing in mix-ins on the chilled countertop, each time the glass door opens and the string of bells jangle you look up to see if it’s Aegon, because maybe he’s found you another job or maybe he just misses you, and he’s daydreaming of you now in the sweltering sunshine that rains down golden and cloudless. But your only customers are strangers: flocks of influencers in yoga pants who pick at Like It-sized sorbets, flustered mothers trying to relay their lisping children’s orders, giggling couples on dates who you love watching, the way their eyes are alight and their fingers forever ache to intertwine.

A) Even as she's in hell at work, her Salve is Aegon (even if he dont show up)

B) Aw she misses Aegon (me too)

C) I hate couples too gorl, how dare they be happy, rubbing it in our faces

22. … your breathing still labored from the hike and guzzling cans of La Croix that Baela packed, awful as always but not so bad when you feel like you’re dying of thirst. As you wait for the fireworks to start, you take a few selfies with the distant incandescent mirage of Downtown to the northeast, towards Chinatown and Elysian Park, towards Apple Valley, Minnesota if you drove far enough.

A) Me and Sunshine are the same? Both hating walks? Damn

B) That drink, she only likes it when it's her last resort. Like any products of HW- she will do anything but that but uses it when she has no other choice? like plastic surgery, etc

C) Shes being pulled in so many directions. What will she choose? Hw & fame or Minnesota, home?

23. In the two minutes you spend debating whether to watch it, he has seen yours, liked it, and replied: Miss America 2025.

A) Alright babe, a bit of a stalker

B) He can calm Down too lmao- so flirty & thirsty (it should be me 😫)

24. “What are you grinning about?” Baela asks from where she is sitting in Jace’s lap, his arms around her waist, and you can’t tell her because you don’t want to make her mad again.

A) Stalker 2

B) Leave Ss to be happy

C) Unless B is sus and has an idea of who SS is talking to…

25. “Just something my sister sent me.” You click on Aegon’s story; he is standing beside a massive grill covered with hotdogs and hamburger patties, wielding a pair of tongs, and wearing his aviator sunglasses and a green apron with seemingly nothing underneath. You like it and reply: I have literally never wanted a hotdog so bad in my life.

A) Bl**dy hell, she's thirsty too

B) But Mags, that image was too hot

C) Like was he naked? 👀

D) I'm a vegetarian but I'd break it for his sausage

26. “You better post the picture we took together,” Baela tells you. “We looked cute as fuck!”

A) Alright B, calm down

B) Why don't you post it?

C) Sort of controlling? Like she never asks, just sort of demands?

27. “You were okay,” Baela says, and they both laugh.

A) i know couples joke but she's never very complimentary with him

B) He deserves better

C) I reckon she could drop him to up her career cuz he's not famous, and seems like a waste

28. “It’s a really good photo,” you agree. And it proves that you have friends to do activities with, that you aren’t quite as pathetic and alone in Los Angeles as your parents and Clara and Tripp and Mason might think. You post it as a story: you and Baela smiling together, Jace in the background brandishing a peace sign. You add a bunch of red, white, and blue hearts for decoration. Aegon watches your new story within a few minutes, but he doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even like it. You frown down at your screen, confused.

A) She needs some friends (please Jace)

B) As an instagram story so its not around forever (like B's presence will Not be)

C) Ooh why he mad? I hate men lmao

29. “Oh look, it’s starting, it’s starting!” Baela says excitedly, and now there are booming explosions in the darkening sky and threads of shimmering remnants descending like falling stars.

A) Yes it's starting… the drama & explosions start now

30. You are early for your appointment because you want to see Aegon again, and you don’t even try to tell yourself it’s for any other reason. It’s Tuesday, July 8th, and there are still charred firework wrappers and singed sparklers strewn on the sidewalk. You find a parking spot a ways down the street from Aegon’s half-duplex and trot to the front door. You are wearing your tan TOMS wedges, a top the color of dark fertile earth, a green maxi skirt, and swampy verdant eyeshadow to match: matte brown Rewind and sparkly emerald Damaged, both by Urban Decay.

A) Atleast she ain't delusional, that helps

B) He's in such a dump - shows that LA ain't all the glitz and glam- will Sunshine see that?

C) Very dark, earthy tones… calm before the storm?

D) ‘Rewind’ she wants to go back to that night, ‘Damaged’ she will be after this conversation

31. "Aegon must be hella stressed lately because he’s always mixing things up and forgetting appointments, then he yells at me but feels bad about it afterwards and pays me overtime. Well worth it! I think it’s the wedding. Becca’s constantly showing up asking for his opinion about cakes and decorations and whatever and it’s just a lot.”

A) Oh he's always mixing things up… hopefully he'll mix up his fiance soon

B) Becca stresses him out! SS doesn't.. see how that could work

32. Mario is traversing a narrow stone pathway surrounded by a sea of blood-red lava. Aegon’s tank top is the color of the pine trees back in Minnesota; the unbuttoned short-sleeve Oxford shirt he’s thrown overtop is white and wrinkled. The room has been tidied up... Honeycrisp apples filling up a bowl that is blue china instead of plain bone-colored ceramic.

A) Mario again… reflecting Aegon’s medical journey/ life

B) Narrow- meaning he can only go one way in life (get married, give up LA and whatever else)

C) Blood-red lava- either Mario is the disease in his body/ bloodstream (narrow- vein)

D) His tank is the colour of the trees from her home? He's her home?

E) Also earthy colour, they're matching. Both each other’s home

F) Wrinkled white top- he's a disgruntled angel (he's trying his best to help SS) (or dying soon lmao)

G) He's still got a piece of her around, the apples (highlighted in colour, not the plain white of LA)

33. “Hey,” Aegon says, glancing at you but still clicking buttons and swiveling the joystick on his transluscent orange controller.

A) He's paying half attention to her.. whilst he also concentrates on the game (his medical issues taking over his life whilst he tries to be there for her?)

34. “Are you winning?” you ask, meaning the game. Mario veers off the precarious walkway and into the lava, screams and tries to leap to safety, sails over a stone island, hits the lava again and dies.

A) she cares about his interests and him 😭

B) Does she distract him? And is there bad repercussions? (Becca leaving?)

C) Aegon/ Mario is struggling to get back to safety?

35. Aegon chuckles; he sounds tired. His bruised knuckles, five days gone, have sickened to a ghastly green and plumes of opaque violet. “I guess not.” He turns off the Nintendo 64. “How was your 4th of July?”

36. Aegon gives you a disapproving look like he doesn’t quite believe you. You can’t fathom why. “I might have another job for you.”

A) He's tired 😫

A) He's jealous girl

B) We love to see it

37. “Really? Great!” But despite the good news, you’re beginning to feel like you’re sinking. You keep waiting for Aegon to acknowledge what happened here, what you both did, what you were to each other even if only for a few hours under the cover of darkness.

A) Sinking… like the Titantic reference from the first chapter in this office

B) I feel bad vibes about to happen

38. “There’s a casting call for a very minor part in a new Marvel movie. I’m sure that’s not exactly your dream role, and it’s not really what I see you doing either, but you said you’d take anything and it’s an opportunity to get you in front of some big-name people. So I booked you a spot.”

A) We love Marvel (just watched Marvel today actually lmao)

B) SS would be cute as a superhero or sidekick

C) Aegons so clever

39. “I’m keeping an eye on the indie projects that make it to pre-production. I can imagine you shining in a niche little thriller, maybe a romantic drama…you do angry really well, you know. Which is strange, because you’re never angry in real life. But that’s what makes you an actress. You become other kinds of people.”

A) He doesn't see her angry… I feel like he just needs to wait lmao

B) also he might also underestimate her himself? Cuz she seems nice all the time?

C) A romantic drama? No need babe, she's already in one

40. Aegon studies you, his Nike Killshots still resting lazily on his desk. His blonde hair is slicked back from his face; his eyes are a remote somber blue like the ocean through an airplane window. “You alright, sunshine?”

A) What is it about these shoes??

B) He's so beautiful ugh

C) And he cares 😭

41. Slowly, Aegon smiles, and there’s something about his voice that strikes you as smug, maybe taunting, maybe even cruel. “It was that good for you, huh?”

A) Nevermind, jackass

B) But I'd still swoon 😅

C) After punching him

D) is this the real him or an act?

42. Aegon is stunned. He scrambles to his feet. “What—?”

A) Well done, you've made her upset

B) Me too

C) be nicer with your words, you know she's sensitive

43. “Then come back here.”

A) Me skipping my way back after that demand

B) Anything for you King

C) I need higher standards lmao but I blame it on him

44. Aegon sits down too, places his elbows on his desk, laces his fingers together and presses them against his lips as he gazes at you, his large blue eyes glossy and pained. After a while, he says quietly: “This is exactly what I didn’t want. For you to be hurt, for you to be sad.”

A) Ooh he serious

B) Stop with the eyes 😫🥰 ill forgive him too easily 🙈 I won't look

C) He throws my emotions everywhere, I know he cares but stop fucking around lmao

45. On the way here, Aegon stopped at an In-N-Out Burger. You said you didn’t want anything when he asked—you have no appetite whatsoever—but at the drive-thru window he ordered two cheeseburger combos: Cherry Cokes, grilled onions on the burgers, Animal-Style fries. He paid in cash, because he is full of deceit, or at least that is what you told yourself.

A) Idk what to think Of him ordering her food when she didn't want anything?

B) Was he doing it cuz he worries she might not be able to afford a lot of food? Or to remind her not to fall for the fame fad diets?

C) Like someone else said, does he pay in cash so he knows how much he Spent that day due to forgetting?

D) Or is he given an allowance by family or Becca?

E) He loves his Cherry cokes in your fanfic… Do you like cherry Coke by any chance maggie? 😂

46. “Do you want to get skin cancer? Are you trying to look like Clint Eastwood when you’re forty?”

A) Wear that sunscreen bitch

B) Does he think it's useless as he's dying anyway?

47. He gives you an irritated smirk but takes the sunscreen and halfheartedly mists himself with it… Aegon takes large, sloppy bites of his burger, grease dribbling down his fingers; you can only manage queasy nibbles at your own. In the waves, surfers are paddling far out and then riding swells back in, skittering to a stop in shallow water or being dragged under by the gleaming sapphire currents. California gulls squawk overhead and dive greedily when Aegon throws them some of his fries. To the north is a jetty of stones to mark the territorial boundary between the surfers and the swimmers; to the south is a long wooden pier for fishing.

C) He might not make it to 40 😫😭

D) just googled CE, he's 94 damn. Also he did have skin cancer, bless him

A) He does anything for SS 🥹

B) Hes so messy, i find it hot- imagine him eating you out like that 🥵

C) Also how he eats without a care in the world, whereas she nibbles, cuz she has to be cautious? But he's already made his money

D) The surfers are riding high on waves just to be brought down by the same thing?- Fame

E) Gulls are the paparazzi and not leaving u alone and eating the scraps they can get

F) There's a clear divide between the surfers and the swimmers (hmmm)

A) zodiac Calendar, fate. Is fate gonna intervene between them soon?

48. Aegon sighs and slurps his Cherry Coke, ice clinking around in the cardboard cup, red and white and reminding you of those zodiac calendars at Chinese restaurants. “I guess. I don’t know.”

B) He's confused. She's different to the other girls

C) But they shouldn't have done it cuz they're just gonna get hurt

A) Ooh slay? 😔

49. “It wasn’t the first time. I’m sure it’ll happen again at some point. It doesn’t change what I have with Becca.”

B) He truly isn't in love with Becca if he's doing this

50. “Never long-term,” Aegon amends.

C) Can I be the next time? 👀

51. “Marry me, girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation,

A) Cuz he can't do long-term, he won't be around for long enough so he just takes what care he can get from Becca- an easy marriage

A teenage bride with a baby inside getting high on information”

B) Teenager with a baby… like Becca who wanted more (a life with him)

A) Will he finally propose to SS later? just before it's too late? She's a Salve for him as much as he is For her

C) is Becca sneaky? Like is she gonna do something with all this information she has on him and his family as Revenge for being taken a mug of? - it's a Hollywood story, someone has to go to the tabloids lmao

A) Uh yes- this is how fanfics work

52. “You honestly believe I’d rip up the life I’ve have planned out for years for someone I met a month ago?”

B) Only one month??

A) Don't patronise her Aegon

53. “That’s adorable,” Aegon says, like you’re an idiot. After a moment he adds, rather combatively: “And if you’re such a one-dude kind of girl, who was that guy in your Instagram story?”

B) Oh and don't be jealous, you have no right lmao

54. “That’s his name? Jace? That’s not even a real name. That’s like James or Jason, but make it the trailer park remix.”

A) Sorry babe, forgot Aegon was in the the modern baby book of names 🙄

B) If you look in the Targaryen name book, Aegon means "a little bitch"

C) If you don't change your attitude, you'll be A(e)Gon(er) soon

55. Aegon rolls his eyes and shoves a handful of Animal-Style fries into his mouth, sopping with melted yellow cheese and grilled onions and secret-recipe spread that tastes suspiciously like Thousand Island salad dressing. “Right.”

A) That boy needs manners lmao

B) that's like another portion of food with more cheese 🧀- baby doesn't care about his health at all

C) He's distracting himself with food? Emotional eating?

A) Someone he trusts enough, he won't ever trust anyone with her

56. “Sure,” Aegon says, like he is being deliberately stoic. “But I need more time to find someone I trust enough.”

B) Hes putting on an act of nonchalance to not show the hurt he's feeling with her just asking for someone else

C) He will probably try and delay it as much as he can

A) He's calling her bluff

57. Aegon looks at you, a challenge, a dare. “Do you really want to never see me again?”

58. Aegon scoffs. “Oh, come on.”

B) And she doesn't babe

A) Don't be a baby- answer the question

59. “Are you twelve years old?” Aegon says, then slurps forcefully on his Cherry Coke. “Life is more complicated than that.”

B) he doesnt want to say cuz he doesn't love Becca

A) Says the baby

B) it is true. Life is complicated

C) He's the grumpy realist and she's the optiminist. They balance each other- life isn't hard when they're together (ish)

D) Back to consuming to delay his answers

A) He' sparkles ✨️

60. Aegon gazes blankly out over the Pacific Ocean for a while, the breeze in his hair and the Coppertone Sport shimmering on his face, and then at last he turns to you. “Okay, listen,” Aegon begins. “About a year ago, Becca got pregnant.”

61. “Right. And I didn’t then either. So I told her I’d have absolutely nothing to do with it if she kept the baby, and that my preference was for her to terminate. And that’s what she did.”

B) And I oop-

C) I wonder if his final resting place will be the beach, he seems at peace here

B) He's a Bit rough

A) it must be something hereditary to not want to pass it on to his Kids cuz hes know how bad it is to deal with. He doesn't care about legacy whereas his dad did- but at what cost

C) I wonder if he would want the baby if it was Sunshine’s? - que baby? As a last piece of aegon?

62. “I’m not convinced it was unintentional,” Aegon is saying; you are only half-hearing him… “Becca told me that she moved out here to be an actress and a model, but I never saw her really pursuing that. Once we met, she jumped right into being the perfect caretaker, and some people are like that. They need someone to need them. She was great at it, it was all she wanted to do, looking after me and the house and the Targaryen family Hollywood bullshit that I can’t stand. And eventually Becca started dropping hints about getting married, and I ignored them. I think…maybe she thought having a baby would speed up the timeline. But now she knows how serious I am about not having children. And I’m a lot more careful.”

A) What girls have to do to feel secure in a relationship

B) but it also shows that's she manipulative? So what else can she do?

E) So Becca knows stuff about the family? Interesting..

C) Becca started out like SS? Does he help SS more because she actually has passion for it whereas Becca didn't?

D) I want to know about the Targs, they defo had an effect on him and why he hates HW

F) A lot more careful- as in he's stay away from Becca lmao

A) But you need To have to want her too, thats marriage aegon

63. “No,” Aegon says, exasperated that you don’t understand. “I’m marrying her because I’m who she wants, and she would do anything for me. And being with me is a sacrifice, right? So the least I can do is give her the official title. It works for both of us. It’s good for both of us.”

B) Both of you and ss want each other?

C) and he's sacrificing his own happiness by not being with SS

D) He's a curse to be with? Cuz he knows he's gonna go down a slippery slope later with his deteriorating health and he thinks ss wont stay/ doesn't need to see it in her happy world

A) She wants you to be the perfect guy she thought you were but everyone has their flaws

64. “I know,” Aegon snaps. “What do you want me to say? That I’m a fucking terrible person, that I’m a curse to everyone who cares about me? Sure, fine, okay, you got it. But to my knowledge I’m the only person in your corner, so let me help you for as long as I can.”

B) He's gonna be a curse to Sunshine? When he dies, she'll always remember him, like a lost love like Jack & Rose from Titantic (that you like to reference in this & aegon survived the last series of his)

C) He still wants to help and be close to her

A) See- whereas becca didn't Want to do it for the right reasons?

65. “Because you’re kind, and you’re gentle, and you’re real, and you want this for the right reasons, and I’m not going to let anybody beat that out of you.”

B) He's sick of fake people and she's real omg

C) Has she reopened his passion for being an agent?

A) He wants to be there

66. Aegon sighs, defeated. “Do you want to ride with me to the Marvel audition or do you want to drive yourself? It’s on Friday.”

B) But he also respects her choice

A) He's still upset over the Maroon 5 script

67. “In case something happens, obviously,” Aegon flares. “In case a director or an actor is a creep, in case they want you to do a dangerous stunt, it case they try to tell you to get surgery, in case they lie to you about the terms, in case a million other things go wrong. No one is going to listen to you, but because I’m a Targaryen they’ll listen to me.”

B) I love his protective energy.. cuz its “his job”... 😏

C) Whos gonna look after after he's gone 😭

D) How big are the Targs In this industry?

E) also it's v likely someone is a creep in any HW studio

68. “I’m the best you’ve got,” Aegon pitches back, and you sit with him in heavy silence under the sizzling afternoon sun for a long time, neither of you speaking, neither of you moving to leave.

A) Not just the heat being brutal, the angry tension too

B) They don't want to talk but they don't want to leave each other either

A) Not how they ended things last time..

69. An hour later, back in Elysian Park, Aegon parks his Sebring curbside and says Brandon will text you the address for the Marvel audition. You thank him briskly and impersonally. Aegon jogs up the concrete steps and into his half-duplex; you begin walking down the sidewalk towards where you parked your 2003 Honda Accord this morning. You are most of the way there when you see her approaching: long dark hair, wide-leg jeans, bridal white crop top, carrying a massive bakery box. Becca is beaming and humming to herself, but when she spots you she jolts to a halt.

B) bride white top- she wants you to know shes getting married lmao

C) Aw she was in a good mood 😂

70. “Always trying to break us up,” she seethes hatefully, defiantly. “Always trying to tear us apart. You think you matter enough to jeopardize what Aegon and I have? He comes home to me, always, and no one can change that. You think I don’t know loving a man like that means having to share him with the world? I know it. But you should know you’ll never get to keep him.”

D) SS is ruining Beccas dream of domesticity so will Becca ruin hers?

E) Does becca have access to Aegon's files and with him mixing things up, he might forget to lock the computer. Plus plus- he's using folders ( is that another sign of his decorating state cuz he can't remember his computer password)?

B) Does he not sleep with her? Does he not trust her after the baby thing?

A) She says that like just to Ss but she probably means all the girls Aegon has slept with

C) I wonder if Becca Will snap and tell Sunshine why she couldnt handle Aegon (his disease). I bet she knows what his dad dies of.

D) Imagine Becca killed Vis and is slowly killing Aegon for the money lmao idk I'm tired

A) Baela cussing her out, Aegon not being lovey, Becca tripping her over- I get you babe. You deserve a treat

71. “This day fucking sucks,” you mutter to nobody. Then you turn on your laptop and open Spotify in one tab. You recall seeing a lot of Alanis Morissette in Aegon’s playlist, and you find one of the few songs of hers you already know because it’s your mom’s favorite: You Learn.

B) I had to Google the song!

C) The song is about how the lows of life Still add to it, you learn and grow from the lessons

D) Like after this fic is done, she wouldn't change a thing cuz it's toughened her up but also allowed to love more openly (like maybe she stands up for herself and tells aegon to learn to let himself be happy and be with her before he goes)

E) It might help put more substance into her acting?

72. Wikipedia once told you that Viserys Targaryen passed away at his Malibu home after a long illness. Was it bad? It had to be, right? A disease that was torturously slow and horrific for the whole family. An experience that wounded Aegon somewhere deep and immutable.

A) Hmm was it an illness or did the family say that just to cover something up? And did aegon get caught in the crossfire?

73. Viserys Targaryen Alzheimer’s

74. You roll over and stare up at your bedroom ceiling, listening to Alanis Morissette’s serrated mezzo-soprano twang, and whatever is required to be taken seriously as an artist—to make people see you, to make people listen, to earn the privilege of not spending forty years impersonating someone who never feels the siren call of other lives—she has it.

A) Not alzheimers but maybe another thing related to it… like Dementia

B) Does something need to break in her to finally be sharp enough to cut and catch someone's attention?

A) SS isn't taken seriously cuz she's naive? Like she's a pushover in a way?

75. Maybe there’s no profound explanation for why Aegon is marrying Becca. Maybe he really is a fuckboy like Baela said.

C) And will it be cuz of aegon or something else?

B) But we all know that's not it

A) Yeah possibly

76. Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough.

C) He might not want anyone else to see him go like his dad? And he doesn't mind Becca cuz he doesn't care about her enough?

B) youre his favourite.

A) Lies. He does.

C) His precious sunshine.

A Curse [Chapter 5: Venice]

Series summary: You are an aspiring actress. Aegon is a washed-up and disenchanted agent…at least until he sees something special in you. But within paradisical seaside Los Angeles you find terrible dangers and temptations, secrets and lies. Maybe Aegon’s right; maybe the City of Angels really is a curse.

Chapter warnings: Language, mentions of sexual content (18+ readers only), age-gap situationship, In-N-Out Burger, accidental fake dating, discussions of pregnancy and abortion (not who you think), a wild Becca appears!

Word count: 6k

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

Tagging: @lauraneedstochill @mrs-starkgaryen @chattylurker @neithriddle @ecstaticactus, more in comments! 🥰

🏝️ Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🏝️

You sleep deep but wake up early. When Baela wanders out of the bathroom in a fuzzy purple robe and a gale of steam, she finds you dressed in your grey work uniform and sprinkling a packet of flower food you got from the Rite Aid down the street into the vase of sunflowers. You are smiling to yourself; you can’t seem to stop.

“Heyyyyy!” Baela says, slow and salacious, hoping for interesting stories. You very rarely have any to share. “How’d the Maroon 5 shoot go? Not so bad, right?”

“It was good.” You rearrange the sunflowers, pruning any leaves that have begun to wilt. Daylight streams in through the windows; outside you can see power lines, palm trees, a shopping center featuring—among other things—a Starbucks, World Star Vape, and Carl’s Jr.

“Did you meet Adam Levine?”

“Briefly and uneventfully. But he seemed nice!”

“And you survived the bathtub thing, I see.” Her tone implies that you were ridiculous to ever fear you wouldn’t, childish, ignorant, histrionic.

“Well…I actually didn’t have to do it.”

“What?” She reaches into the refrigerator and removes a plastic bowl full of raspberries, sets it down on the kitchen counter, eats absentmindedly as she stares at you. “Really? Why not?”

You shrug, a little shy but desperately wanting to tell somebody, because that will make it real. Blood burns in your face. “Aegon saved me.”

Baela’s eyes narrow and her brow crinkles. You find yourself—as you often do—casually in awe of the smoothness of her skin, the perfect arches of her eyebrows, her expressiveness that is never inelegant. She chews her raspberries very slowly. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, so…I didn’t have to film that scene. But I did the rest of them and it went fine.”

Baela’s gaze drops to your shoes and travels northbound, examining you with skepticism and dread, as if she is afraid to ask. “Did something else happen?”

You can feel yourself glowing, flushing, beaming helplessly. “Kind of.”

Her jaw drops open; there’s berry juice on her teeth like blood. “How? Where?!”

“We went back to his office after the shoot. I mean, he drove us back to his office. But I wanted to go too.”

“And you did…what, exactly? How many bases?”

“Um…all of them?”

“All of them?!”

“Twice.”

Baela looks horrified. “Oh my God, you really fucked a married guy.”

“No, remember, he’s not married. He’s just engaged.”

“It’s the same thing!” Baela exclaims, and she has completely forgotten about her raspberries. “You’re a cheater, how does that make you feel?”

You shake your head; she doesn’t understand. “I know it sounds bad, but when I’m with Aegon…he’s just so…he’s so protective and he’s smart and he’s brave and he actually believes in me, he’s the only person who doesn’t think I’m hopeless and delusional, and he’s always trying to help me, and there’s something about when we’re together that just feels…magical!”

“Of course it’s magical!” Baela bursts out, and now Jace is peeking blearily out of her bedroom, his dark curls in disarray. “He’s a fuckboy, that’s what they do! He gives you some otherworldly encapsulated experience that leaves you dickmatized but it’s not real, because then he goes home and he does the same thing with his soon-to-be-wife, and then the next day he’s probably hooking up with some other impressionable starstruck client, and you’re standing here thinking you have something special with him when he’s already onto the next girl!”

You can’t imagine that being true, and yet you wonder without wanting to: why did he have condoms in his desk drawer? “I don’t think he’s happy with Becca.”

Baela groans as if she’s in physical pain. “I knew this would happen! I knew somebody was going to take advantage of you. You’re too idealistic, you’re too naïve.”

“I started it,” you object feebly.

“You think you seduced him? You think you were calling the shots with a middle-aged man whose family is Hollywood royalty?”

You look down at your shoes, uninspired white Skechers for work, ashamed. “I guess not.”

Baela huffs a sardonic sigh and scarfs down the last of the raspberries, chewing them aggressively. “You know, people talk shit about Jace—”

“Who talks shit about Jace?” Jace asks from the doorway of her bedroom.

“—They say he’s a hobosexual and lazy and jobless and whatever, but that man is loyal, he doesn’t even look at other women, and I wouldn’t trade him for anybody. Because apparently it’s extremely fucking rare to find someone who won’t get naked for the first stranger who promises to make all their wildest dreams come true.”

You are collapsing in on yourself, a wilting flower, a crushed spider, and you remember years ago finding the emails between your father and that hospital intern, and you marvel at how easy it is to fixate on one star and lose sight of the constellation. Jace slinks back into Baela’s bedroom and closes the door. “Yeah, you’re right, Baela,” you say softly. “I was wrong. I don’t know why I did that.”

Now Baela frowns at you with a nauseating combination of judgment and pity. “Look, are you sure you wouldn’t be happier back home on the horse farm? This place…you’re too nice for it, you know? You’re too trusting. You’re going to keep getting hurt.” You don’t have what it takes.

You steel yourself. “I’m staying here.”

“Okay, and are you going to find a new agent? Maybe somebody who isn’t trying to sleep with you, or at the very least isn’t in a committed relationship while doing it?”

You are thunderstruck by the question; you haven’t even considered this. “No one else wants me.”

Baela tosses the empty plastic bowl into the kitchen sink—it rattles harshly there—and casts you a hard glare as she stalks towards her bedroom in her purple bathrobe. “I am so disappointed in you.”

You turn to watch her leave, crestfallen and deserted. “Are we still going to see the fireworks later when I get done at Cold Stone?”

Baela stops and turns around, and now her face is all pity, like you’re too pathetic to stay mad at, like you aren’t cognizant enough to be held responsible. “Yeah. We’re still going to see the fireworks.”

“Yay!” you reply, a strained little squeak.

“Jace can stay here when I’m in Paris, right?” Baela asks. “He swears he’ll vacuum and take the garbage out and stuff. And you know he won’t fill up the sink with dirty dishes, he basically only eats takeout.”

“Yeah, of course, no problem! He can stay.”

“Thanks.” Baela gives you a small smile—a charitable you’re a dumbass but we’re still friends sort of gesture—and disappears into her bedroom. Then you go find your phone and purse so you won’t be late for work.

All afternoon as you are bent low scraping scoops of ice cream out of the freezer and mashing in mix-ins on the chilled countertop, each time the glass door opens and the string of bells jangle you look up to see if it’s Aegon, because maybe he’s found you another job or maybe he just misses you, and he’s daydreaming of you now in the sweltering sunshine that rains down golden and cloudless. But your only customers are strangers: flocks of influencers in yoga pants who pick at Like It-sized sorbets, flustered mothers trying to relay their lisping children’s orders, giggling couples on dates who you love watching, the way their eyes are alight and their fingers forever ache to intertwine.

At dusk, you and Baela and Jace are lounging on a blanket at the Baldwin Hills Scenic Overlook, your breathing still labored from the hike and guzzling cans of La Croix that Baela packed, awful as always but not so bad when you feel like you’re dying of thirst. As you wait for the fireworks to start, you take a few selfies with the distant incandescent mirage of Downtown to the northeast, towards Chinatown and Elysian Park, towards Apple Valley, Minnesota if you drove far enough.

You post the most flattering selfie to your Instagram story with a caption of patriotic emojis: an American flag, the Statue of Liberty, a bald eagle, an exploding pink firework. In the row of circles at the top of your screen, you observe that Aegon—a.k.a. superstargaryen—has also posted a story today. In the two minutes you spend debating whether to watch it, he has seen yours, liked it, and replied: Miss America 2025.

“What are you grinning about?” Baela asks from where she is sitting in Jace’s lap, his arms around her waist, and you can’t tell her because you don’t want to make her mad again.

“Just something my sister sent me.” You click on Aegon’s story; he is standing beside a massive grill covered with hotdogs and hamburger patties, wielding a pair of tongs, and wearing his aviator sunglasses and a green apron with seemingly nothing underneath. You like it and reply: I have literally never wanted a hotdog so bad in my life.

Aegon reacts with a laughing emoji and types: Come and get it. But of course you can’t, because Becca is probably there too.

“You better post the picture we took together,” Baela tells you. “We looked cute as fuck!”

“What about me?” Jace asks playfully, nuzzling the side of her face. “Was I cute as fuck too?”

“You were okay,” Baela says, and they both laugh.

“It’s a really good photo,” you agree. And it proves that you have friends to do activities with, that you aren’t quite as pathetic and alone in Los Angeles as your parents and Clara and Tripp and Mason might think. You post it as a story: you and Baela smiling together, Jace in the background brandishing a peace sign. You add a bunch of red, white, and blue hearts for decoration. Aegon watches your new story within a few minutes, but he doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even like it. You frown down at your screen, confused.

“Oh look, it’s starting, it’s starting!” Baela says excitedly, and now there are booming explosions in the darkening sky and threads of shimmering remnants descending like falling stars.

~~~~~~~~~~

You are early for your appointment because you want to see Aegon again, and you don’t even try to tell yourself it’s for any other reason. It’s Tuesday, July 8th, and there are still charred firework wrappers and singed sparklers strewn on the sidewalk. You find a parking spot a ways down the street from Aegon’s half-duplex and trot to the front door. You are wearing your tan TOMS wedges, a top the color of dark fertile earth, a green maxi skirt, and swampy verdant eyeshadow to match: matte brown Rewind and sparkly emerald Damaged, both by Urban Decay.

Behind the reception desk, Brandon is squinting at the computer screen and scrawling notes in his planner with his flower pen. “Hey girl!” he greets you, and although he is preoccupied he still gets a bottle of Perrier out of the minifridge and sets it on the edge of the desk.

“Thanks!” you say as you take it. “I’m really sorry about what happened last week with the address thing. I hope you weren’t too freaked out. I didn’t want to ruin your holiday.”

Brandon laughs and waves a hand dismissively. “It’s totally cool, I wasn’t worried at all. Aegon must be hella stressed lately because he’s always mixing things up and forgetting appointments, then he yells at me but feels bad about it afterwards and pays me overtime. Well worth it! I think it’s the wedding. Becca’s constantly showing up asking for his opinion about cakes and decorations and whatever and it’s just a lot.”

You smile politely; it takes some effort. “Yeah, weddings are nerve-racking. My sister Clara is planning hers right now.”

“Oh for cute! Are you going to be her maid of honor?”

“Actually, I don’t know. I hope not. Sounds like a ton of work.”

“You’d be marvelous at it,” Brandon assures you, then snatches up the phone when it rings. “Targaryen Talent Agency, this is Brandon, how can I help you?” You say goodbye and continue to Aegon’s office.

Inside, he is wearing the same green Nike Killshots he had on the day you first met and has them propped up on his desk as he plays his Nintendo 64. Mario is traversing a narrow stone pathway surrounded by a sea of blood-red lava. Aegon’s tank top is the color of the pine trees back in Minnesota; the unbuttoned short-sleeve Oxford shirt he’s thrown overtop is white and wrinkled. The room has been tidied up, all signs of your transgression erased: debris swept off the scratched wood floor, his desk once again littered with folders and papers and Juicy Fruit gum wrappers, new frames for the photographs, Honeycrisp apples filling up a bowl that is blue china instead of plain bone-colored ceramic.

“Hey,” Aegon says, glancing at you but still clicking buttons and swiveling the joystick on his transluscent orange controller.

“Hi!” You are grinning as you sit down in the chair in front of his desk. “Your office is back to normal.”

“Yeah, I have cleaning people that come in a few days a week.”

“Are you winning?” you ask, meaning the game. Mario veers off the precarious walkway and into the lava, screams and tries to leap to safety, sails over a stone island, hits the lava again and dies.

Aegon chuckles; he sounds tired. His bruised knuckles, five days gone, have sickened to a ghastly green and plumes of opaque violet. “I guess not.” He turns off the Nintendo 64. “How was your 4th of July?”

“It was awesome! I hung out with my roommate.”

Aegon gives you a disapproving look like he doesn’t quite believe you. You can’t fathom why. “I might have another job for you.”

“Really? Great!” But despite the good news, you’re beginning to feel like you’re sinking. You keep waiting for Aegon to acknowledge what happened here, what you both did, what you were to each other even if only for a few hours under the cover of darkness.

“There’s a casting call for a very minor part in a new Mavel movie. I’m sure that’s not exactly your dream role, and it’s not really what I see you doing either, but you said you’d take anything and it’s an opportunity to get you in front of some big-name people. So I booked you a spot.”

“I accept.” Is he going to pretend it never happened?

“I’m keeping an eye on the indie projects that make it to pre-production. I can imagine you shining in a niche little thriller, maybe a romantic drama…you do angry really well, you know. Which is strange, because you’re never angry in real life. But that’s what makes you an actress. You become other kinds of people.”

Does he think it was a mistake? Does he think it didn’t matter? “Okay,” you hear yourself say uncertainly.

Aegon studies you, his Nike Killshots still resting lazily on his desk. His blonde hair is slicked back from his face; his eyes are a remote somber blue like the ocean through an airplane window. “You alright, sunshine?”

“Yeah, I just…um…I mean…” You glance uneasily around the small plain office, scuffed wooden floorboards and cracked paint on mint green walls and glaring daylight that pours in through the windows that face the east. “What happened Thursday night…was that a one-time thing, or…?”

Slowly, Aegon smiles, and there’s something about his voice that strikes you as smug, maybe taunting, maybe even cruel. “It was that good for you, huh?”

You are suddenly reminded of every doubt, every warning, every belittling comment you thought you had convinced yourself not to absorb: from Mom, Dad, Clara, Tripp, Mason, Baela, Jace, agents and directors and surgeons. You thump your cold glass bottle of Perrier onto Aegon’s desk, clutch your purse, and bolt for the door. “Sorry, I have to go.”

Aegon is stunned. He scrambles to his feet. “What—?”

“Sorry, bye. Please don’t follow me.” You don’t want him to see you crying. You’re already humiliated enough.

You run awkwardly in your wedges through the lobby—Brandon watches you from behind his desk, baffled—and burst out into the hot late-morning sunlight. You almost tumble down the concrete steps but regain your balance, then flee towards your Honda. Window air conditioning units whir, dogs bark, car engines rev, a radio in an open garage is blaring Domino by Jessie J. Now your phone is ringing.

You yank it out of your purse and, through the tears that blur your vision, see that the name on the screen is Aegon’s. “Hello?” you answer stupidly, as if you don’t know who it is.

Aegon’s voice is equal parts defensive and resigned. “Do you want a new agent?”

“No,” you sob.

“Then come back here.”

“I just…I just feel like I really messed up, I mean I’ve never cheated on or with anybody and I can’t believe I did that, and now you’re pretending it never even happened, and it feels weird, it feels wrong, and I ruined everything, and maybe people were right when they said I couldn’t handle being out here—”

“Come back to my office,” Aegon says calmly. “And we will talk about it. Okay?”

“Okay,” you whimper, and turn around.

You clop into the lobby and give Brandon an embarrassed wave. He nods, puzzled. Then you return to Aegon’s office and take your place in your chair, slumped, red-eyed, ashamed.

Aegon sits down too, places his elbows on his desk, laces his fingers together and presses them against his lips as he gazes at you, his large blue eyes glossy and pained. After a while, he says quietly: “This is exactly what I didn’t want. For you to be hurt, for you to be sad.”

So you won’t start crying again, you distract yourself by rotating the green glass bottle you left on Aegon’s desk, slippery with condensation. “I don’t even like Perrier.”

“Then why do you drink one every time you’re here?”

“I thought it would be the easiest thing for Brandon to get me.”

Aegon shakes his head; and for a long time he just watches you. Then an idea strikes him. “Do you want to go to the beach?”

~~~~~~~~~~

He takes the 110 south to the 10, then the 10 west towards the coast, then Venice Boulevard until you hit the canals. Aegon parks his Sebring in a tight spot on the street; he has to cut it half a dozen times to squeeze between a BMW X5 and a Volkswagen Tiguan. When he rests his bruised hand on the back of your seat so he can twist around and look behind him, you feel a disorienting sort of loss. Is he never going to touch me again? Then you both get out and walk towards the towering palm trees and beckoning open blue that peeks out from between hotels and surf shops, the genesis of the Pacific Ocean that continues uninterrupted for over five thousand miles to the shores of Japan.

On the way here, Aegon stopped at an In-N-Out Burger. You said you didn’t want anything when he asked—you have no appetite whatsoever—but at the drive-thru window he ordered two cheeseburger combos: Cherry Cokes, grilled onions on the burgers, Animal-Style fries. He paid in cash, because he is full of deceit, or at least that is what you told yourself. And so now you are carrying the Cherry Cokes, condensation sweating out of the cardboard cups as midday heat radiates up from the sidewalk and teenagers on bicycles and skateboards weave around you. You pop into one of the surf shops and Aegon waits outside, bemused, until you emerge with a blue can of Coppertone Sport tucked under your arm.

When Aegon finds a spot he likes on the beach and sits cross-legged in loose warm sand, you set down the Cherry Cokes—ice jingling in the dripping cups—and spray yourself with the Coppertone Sport until all of your exposed skin is glistening with SPF 50. Then you try to pass the can to Aegon.

“I’m good,” he says, opening the paper In-N-Out Burger bag to distribute the contents.

“Do you want to get skin cancer? Are you trying to look like Clint Eastwood when you’re forty?”

He gives you an irritated smirk but takes the sunscreen and halfheartedly mists himself with it. Then he flings the can aside and passes you your burger and fries when you sit down beside him. Aegon takes large, sloppy bites of his burger, grease dribbling down his fingers; you can only manage queasy nibbles at your own. In the waves, surfers are paddling far out and then riding swells back in, skittering to a stop in shallow water or being dragged under by the gleaming sapphire currents. California gulls squawk overhead and dive greedily when Aegon throws them some of his fries. To the north is a jetty of stones to mark the territorial boundary between the surfers and the swimmers; to the south is a long wooden pier for fishing. A group of people are playing volleyball nearby. From their boombox drifts a Red Hot Chili Peppers song; you feel like you’re being haunted by them.

“It’s the edge of the world and all of Western civilization,

The sun may rise in the East, at least it settled in a final location

It’s understood that Hollywood sells Californication…”

“It’s not your fault,” Aegon says. “I’m the one who’s engaged, I’m a decade older than you, I’m sort of your boss. It was my responsibility to put the brakes on, and I didn’t because…” He gestures helplessly. “Because I really like you. And I didn’t want to stop. But you’re not to blame for it and you shouldn’t feel guilty and you didn’t do anything wrong. I did.”

You stare out into the waves, glittering with sharp lacerations of sunlight. “So you wish you’d stopped it.”

Aegon sighs and slurps his Cherry Coke, ice clinking around in the cardboard cup, red and white and reminding you of those zodiac calendars at Chinese restaurants. “I guess. I don’t know.”

“You don’t feel guilty?”

“It wasn’t the first time. I’m sure it’ll happen again at some point. It doesn’t change what I have with Becca.”

You turn to him, revolted. “You just cheat constantly? That’s how you live?”

“Not constantly,” Aegon says, annoyed. “Not even that often. Maybe once or twice a year. I bump into someone at a party or a club, or on a film set, or on a plane…you know. Things happen. But it doesn’t go any further than that and it’s never serious.”

“Never serious,” you echo morosely.

“Never long-term,” Aegon amends.

“Marry me, girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation,

A teenage bride with a baby inside getting high on information,

And buy me a star on the boulevard, it’s Californication…”

Aegon taps the mostly-untouched burger in your hand. “Eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You said you’d listen to me. I’m telling you to eat.”

His logic is sound. You make more of an effort, washing each bite down with Cherry Coke that you usually never drink, empty calories, fleeting forbidden sweetness.

Aegon is watching you closely, the creases around his eyes deep and thoughtful. “Could you tell me…like, specifically…what exactly you’re upset about?”

“I guess I thought it meant something.”

“I’m not pretending it didn’t. I just said I really like you.”

“But you’re still getting married in September.”

“You honestly believe I’d rip up the life I’ve have planned out for years for someone I met a month ago?”

“I don’t understand how you can have feelings for me and be marrying somebody else. That doesn’t make any sense. When I’m really into someone, I don’t want other people.”

“That’s adorable,” Aegon says, like you’re an idiot. After a moment he adds, rather combatively: “And if you’re such a one-dude kind of girl, who was that guy in your Instagram story?”

You have no idea what he’s talking about. “What guy?”

“The guy on the 4th of July. Young gym bro curly hair guy.”

It takes you a few seconds to realize who he means. “Jace?”

“That’s his name? Jace? That’s not even a real name. That’s like James or Jason, but make it the trailer park remix.”

“I think his parents have money,” you say absently, fascinated by Aegon’s reaction, trying to decide if you want to divulge that Jace is in no way available or romantically interested in you.

“That’s not the point.”

“He’s a friend.”

Aegon rolls his eyes and shoves a handful of Animal-Style fries into his mouth, sopping with melted yellow cheese and grilled onions and secret-recipe spread that tastes suspiciously like Thousand Island salad dressing. “Right.”

“Where are you going after you get married?”

“Becca’s family is in Houston.”

“What’s there for you?”

He laughs, a curt little cackle. “Segway tours, rodeos. The Space Center.”

“What about your family? What about Aemond and the others?”

“If they want to see me, they can catch a flight.”

“If you’re so hellbent on leaving Los Angeles, then what’s the point of this? Just ditch me now. Just give me to some other agent and we can both move on.”

“Sure,” Aegon says, like he is being deliberately stoic. “But I need more time to find someone I trust enough.”

“You can’t think of a single person who isn’t going to try to make me get naked or leap off a building?”

“No, I can, but I need someone who actually believes in you too. And you haven’t done much work out here yet. So it would be better if I had more to show them.”

“Can’t you just forge me another resume?”

Aegon looks at you, a challenge, a dare. “Do you really want to never see me again?”

The truth is humiliatingly simple. “No.”

“Then why are you arguing?”

You toss a few fries to the seagulls; they wrestle over them when they fall to the ground, kicking up golden sand and pecking murderously at each other. “Do you love Becca?”

Aegon scoffs. “Oh, come on.”

“What?”

“It’s a stupid question.”

“It’s an extremely relevant question.”

“Are you twelve years old?” Aegon says, then slurps forcefully on his Cherry Coke. “Life is more complicated than that.”

“More complicated than marrying people you’re actually in love with…?”

Aegon gazes blankly out over the Pacific Ocean for a while, the breeze in his hair and the Coppertone Sport shimmering on his face, and then at last he turns to you. “Okay, listen,” Aegon begins. “About a year ago, Becca got pregnant.”

You’re so startled you accidentally knock over your Cherry Coke, scrabbling for the cup as dark reddish liquid spills into the sand. “You have a baby?!”

He watches you, severe, grim, maybe a little afraid of what you’ll think. “No.”

Then you remember. “You don’t want kids,” you say softly.

“Right. And I didn’t then either. So I told her I’d have absolutely nothing to do with it if she kept the baby, and that my preference was for her to terminate. And that’s what she did.”

You are speechless, you are horrified, you are staring at him and struggling to imagine it.

“I’m not convinced it was unintentional,” Aegon is saying; you are only half-hearing him. Your skull is full of rumbling waves and the shrieks of seagulls. “Becca told me that she moved out here to be an actress and a model, but I never saw her really pursuing that. Once we met, she jumped right into being the perfect caretaker, and some people are like that. They need someone to need them. She was great at it, it was all she wanted to do, looking after me and the house and the Targaryen family Hollywood bullshit that I can’t stand. And eventually Becca started dropping hints about getting married, and I ignored them. I think…maybe she thought having a baby would speed up the timeline. But now she knows how serious I am about not having children. And I’m a lot more careful.”

“So…you’re marrying Becca…out of guilt?”

“No,” Aegon says, exasperated that you don’t understand. “I’m marrying her because I’m who she wants, and she would do anything for me. And being with me is a sacrifice, right? So the least I can do is give her the official title. It works for both of us. It’s good for both of us.”

You still can’t comprehend it. It seems so incongruous with who you know him to be: protective, warm, unconventionally noble. “You pressured Becca into getting an abortion?”

“It was her choice,” Aegon says weakly, knowing that he’d put an insurmountable weight on the scale.

“That’s a horrible thing to do.”

“I know,” Aegon snaps. “What do you want me to say? That I’m a fucking terrible person, that I’m a curse to everyone who cares about me? Sure, fine, okay, you got it. But to my knowledge I’m the only person in your corner, so let me help you for as long as I can.”

You shake your head; none of it makes sense. All of it is awful. They were right. I don’t belong here. “Why do you care about what happens to me?”

“Because you’re kind, and you’re gentle, and you’re real, and you want this for the right reasons, and I’m not going to let anybody beat that out of you.”

You swallow noisily. “I feel really guilty.”

“I’m sorry,” Aegon says, and he seems to mean it.

“I don’t think it’s fair to let Becca go through with the wedding without knowing that we just hooked up in your office.”

Aegon raises his eyebrows and shrugs uneasily. “Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but Becca wouldn’t want to know.”

“Why? Do you have some kind of arrangement?” Like my parents do. “She doesn’t concern herself with your cheating as long as she doesn’t have to see the evidence?”

“I mean, has she ever used those exact words? No. But I think that’s pretty close to how she feels.”

You nibble on a fry. Your eyes are downcast, your words hushed. With one index finger, you draw stars in the sand. “That’s so sad.”

Aegon sighs, defeated. “Do you want to ride with me to the Marvel audition or do you want to drive yourself? It’s on Friday.”

“I don’t want you there at all.”

“Well, I’m going to be there. But I can try to stay out of your way.”

You’re sulking. “Why do you have to go?”

“In case something happens, obviously,” Aegon flares. “In case a director or an actor is a creep, in case they want you to do a dangerous stunt, it case they try to tell you to get surgery, in case they lie to you about the terms, in case a million other things go wrong. No one is going to listen to you, but because I’m a Targaryen they’ll listen to me.”

“You’re my hero,” you say sarcastically; it comes out more miserable than mean. You’ve never been good at cruelty. It’s not a language you speak.

“I’m the best you’ve got,” Aegon pitches back, and you sit with him in heavy silence under the sizzling afternoon sun for a long time, neither of you speaking, neither of you moving to leave.

An hour later, back in Elysian Park, Aegon parks his Sebring curbside and says Brandon will text you the address for the Marvel audition. You thank him briskly and impersonally. Aegon jogs up the concrete steps and into his half-duplex; you begin walking down the sidewalk towards where you parked your 2003 Honda Accord this morning. You are most of the way there when you see her approaching: long dark hair, wide-leg jeans, bridal white crop top, carrying a massive bakery box. Becca is beaming and humming to herself, but when she spots you she jolts to a halt.

“Hi, Becca!” you say very cheerfully, overcompensating.

“Hey,” she replies flatly, then goes to pass you, heading towards Aegon’s office.

“Wait, sorry, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Reluctantly, Becca stops and peers at you, agitated, guarded, unwelcoming. “What? I’m busy. I have wedding cake samples for Aegon to taste.”

“Oh neat, that’s so fun!”

She glares at you, waiting.

“Okay,” you start. “Um….well…I just wanted to…um…Becca, there’s something I feel like I need to confess to you, and I want to profusely apologize because even though it wasn’t planned, I still knew better and I should never have—”

“You people,” Becca hisses, and you gape at her, bewildered.

“Sorry, what?”

“Always trying to break us up,” she seethes hatefully, defiantly. “Always trying to tear us apart. You think you matter enough to jeopardize what Aegon and I have? He comes home to me, always, and no one can change that. You think I don’t know loving a man like that means having to share him with the world? I know it. But you should know you’ll never get to keep him.”

“No, Becca, that’s not—”

“And if he was going to leave me, he has better options than you.”

Her hands are full, but she lowers a shoulder and shoves you hard with it, and you go stumbling backwards, your feet twisting out of your wedges. Pain bolts up through your left ankle and you yelp as you collapse onto the front lawn of a small yellow house. When you look up at Becca, staggered and appalled, she is sashaying swiftly up the sidewalk and is already halfway to Aegon’s office. You grab your wedges and limp to your Honda on bare feet, the concrete beneath them searing under the arid southwest sun.

The apartment is empty, Baela getting drinks with her L.A. friends before jetting off to Paris next week, Jace at one of his infrequent PhD classes. You grab an ice pack from the freezer and shuffle clumsily to your room, flop down onto your bed, apply the ice pack to your throbbing, swollen ankle.

“This day fucking sucks,” you mutter to nobody. Then you turn on your laptop and open Spotify in one tab. You recall seeing a lot of Alanis Morissette in Aegon’s playlist, and you find one of the few songs of hers you already know because it’s your mom’s favorite: You Learn.

As you listen, mulling over Aegon and his mazelike contradictions, it occurs to you that maybe losing his father at such a young age did something to him, scarred him, traumatized him, made him terrified of letting people get too close. Perhaps that is a baseless assumption. Perhaps you are desperate to make excuses for him, to believe that there’s still hope for the two of you.

How old did Aegon say he was when his dad died? In college? That could mess someone up.

Wikipedia once told you that Viserys Targaryen passed away at his Malibu home after a long illness. Was it bad? It had to be, right? A disease that was torturously slow and horrific for the whole family. An experience that wounded Aegon somewhere deep and immutable.

You Google: Viserys Targaryen cancer. There are no relevant results. You try again.

Viserys Targaryen Alzheimer’s

Viserys Targaryen ALS

Viserys Targaryen multiple sclerosis

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

You roll over and stare up at your bedroom ceiling, listening to Alanis Morissette’s serrated mezzo-soprano twang, and whatever is required to be taken seriously as an artist—to make people see you, to make people listen, to earn the privilege of not spending forty years impersonating someone who never feels the siren call of other lives—she has it.

Maybe there’s no profound explanation for why Aegon is marrying Becca. Maybe he really is a fuckboy like Baela said.

Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough.

[undiagnosedcruelty]

A One Point Difference

Pairing: AcademicRival!k.seugmin x GenderNeutral!reader

Genre: slow-burn romance

Summary: Your reign at the top of the leaderboard is shattered by Kim Seungmin, an infuriatingly effortless genius. What starts as a battle of wits soon spirals into a bet that changes everything.

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Content Warning: Academic Rivalry, Enemies to Lovers, Competitive Tension, Mutual Pining, Slow-Burn, Sarcasm & Banter, Bet-Making, Flirting Disguised as Insults, Study Sessions Gone Wrong, Accidental Confessions, Smug Seungmin, Second Place spiral, and One Stupid Point That Ruins Everything.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: I was very much enjoying this, but unfortunately for me, the academic rivals trope will never be real. Because 1; i emotionally cannot feel attraction to people outside writing and 2; I am no weapon in terms of academics🔥

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EVERYTHING WRITTEN IS PURELY FICTION ─── NOTHING DIRECTLY RELATES TO ANY REAL LIFE EVENTS.

It started with a test. One stupid, insignificant test.

Your name had always been at the top of the leaderboard—unshaken, untouchable. Every exam, every essay, every competition, you dominated. You poured hours into studying, sacrificed your social life, willingly endured exhaustion just to keep that number one spot.

And then, one day, your name wasn’t there.

Kim Seungmin.

The first time you saw it, your stomach twisted in sheer disbelief. He had beaten you by one point. One miserable, mocking point.

And it only got worse from there.

Seungmin wasn’t just smart—he was effortlessly smart. He barely took notes, rarely studied in public, and had the audacity to nap during lectures. And yet, his test papers always came back perfect.

The worst part? He didn’t even seem to care.

You worked for it. He just existed, and it infuriated you.

At first, it was silent competition—subtle glares across the classroom, racing to turn in tests first, tallying up who received the most praise from professors. Then it became sharper—taunts, sarcastic remarks, full-blown arguments in the hallway that had to be broken up by your friends.

Your rivalry was the stuff of legend.

And yet, no matter how much you claimed to hate him, somehow, you always ended up next to him.

Even now.

The only open seat in the library is across from him.

It’s almost poetic, really. Like the universe itself is conspiring against you.

You linger by the entrance, clutching your books so tightly your fingers ache. The library is packed, midterms looming over every student like an impending storm. The long wooden tables are occupied by clusters of classmates whispering over textbooks, the soft hum of study groups blending with the occasional clatter of keyboards. Lamps cast warm golden halos over the pages of open notebooks, and the faint scent of old parchment and brewed coffee lingers in the air.

And there he is, right in the center of it all, completely at ease.

Kim Seungmin reclines in his chair, one arm slung lazily over the backrest, the other twirling a pen between his fingers. His books are open but untouched, as if their mere presence is enough for him to absorb the material. A half-empty cup of coffee sits beside him, undoubtedly cold by now, abandoned in favor of something far more entertaining—watching you.

He meets your gaze and smirks. Your stomach twists, though this time, it has nothing to do with disbelief.

You glance around one last time, hoping for a miracle, but every other seat remains occupied. You have no choice. With a resigned sigh, you march forward and drop into the chair across from him, avoiding eye contact as you slam your books onto the table.

"Charming as always," Seungmin muses, propping his chin on his hand. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Shut up."

He chuckles but says nothing more, turning his attention back to his notes—or at least pretending to. You try to ignore him, flipping open your textbook and willing yourself to focus.

It doesn’t work.

Minutes tick by, and every fiber of your being is hyper-aware of his presence. The steady rise and fall of his breath. The way his fingers drum idly against the table. The occasional rustle of his sleeves as he shifts in his seat.

It’s maddening.

You slam your textbook shut with a sharp thud, barely resisting the urge to scream. Across the table, Seungmin lounges back, looking completely unfazed. "What now?" he asks, twirling his pen effortlessly.

"You're distracting me," you mutter through clenched teeth.

Seungmin raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Am I breathing too loudly again?"

You shoot him a deadly glare. Last time you accused him of existing too obnoxiously, he had spent a full hour over-exaggerating every breath just to irritate you.

"You're insufferable," you hiss.

"And you're predictable," he counters, not even looking up from his notes. "Let me guess—you got stuck, then got frustrated, then decided to blame me for it."

Your eye twitches. "I am not frustrated."

"Sure," Seungmin hums, still twirling his pen. "That's why you're gripping your pencil so hard it's about to snap in half?"

You immediately drop it, scowling. He’s too observant. It drives you insane. Seungmin leans forward, resting his chin in his hand, watching you with a lazy smirk. "Let me help you."

Your jaw tightens. "I don't need your help."

"Right. You’d rather suffer than accept help from me." He tilts his head, voice turning teasing. "Remind me again who's ranked second right now?"

That’s it. You grab your pen and chuck it at him.

Seungmin dodges effortlessly, laughing as the pen bounces off the table. "Wow. Violence? Someone's desperate."

You groan, burying your face in your arms. "I hate you."

And then—so softly you almost miss it—he murmurs, "Mm. Sure you do."

You freeze. There's something off about the way he says it. It's not teasing, not mocking—just quiet. When you lift your head, he's watching you. Not smirking. Not laughing. Just watching.

And for some reason, that unsettles you more than anything.

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The next few days pass in a blur of studying, tension, and lingering frustration.

The rivalry between you and Seungmin only intensifies as the upcoming exam looms closer. Every interaction, every glance exchanged in the classroom, every minor victory and defeat adds fuel to the fire. The pressure is suffocating, and neither of you is willing to back down.

The library becomes a battleground, filled with not-so-subtle glares exchanged over stacks of textbooks. The lecture hall turns into a silent warzone where every question the professor poses feels like another opportunity to one-up each other.

Which is why, against your better judgment, you make a bet.

It happens after class, the two of you lingering outside the lecture hall long after the rest of your classmates have trickled out. The overhead fluorescents buzz faintly, casting long shadows across the polished floors. Students shuffle past, their voices blending into the background as you and Seungmin stand a few feet apart, locked in yet another argument—this time over a particularly tricky problem from the professor’s review session.

“I was right,” you insist, arms crossed as you glare at him. “You didn’t account for the variable shift in the second part of the equation.”

Seungmin lets out a dry laugh, adjusting the strap of his backpack. “Oh, please. The variable shift was negligible. You’re just mad you didn’t catch my reasoning first.”

You narrow your eyes. “I’m not mad.”

“Sure,” he drawls, the corner of his lips twitching. “You’re just turning red for no reason, then?”

Your jaw clenches. You’re not turning red. At least, you don’t think so. But the smug way he’s looking at you, like he already knows exactly how to get under your skin, makes your blood boil.

"Fine," you snap, stepping closer. "Let’s settle this once and for all."

Seungmin raises a brow, intrigued.

"If I score higher than you on the exam," you declare, chin lifted defiantly, "you have to admit—out loud, in front of everyone—that I’m smarter than you."

He doesn’t even flinch. If anything, his expression darkens with amusement, like he’s just been handed the most entertaining challenge of his life.

"And if I score higher?" he asks, voice deceptively casual.

You scoff. "That’s not going to happen."

"Humor me," he says, tilting his head slightly, eyes glinting with something unreadable.

You hesitate, tapping your foot against the floor, considering your options. You could walk away now, pretend this conversation never happened. But that would mean letting him think he got the last word, and you’re not about to give him that satisfaction.

"Fine," you say at last. "If you score higher, I’ll..." You falter, suddenly aware of the way he’s watching you—like a predator waiting for its prey to slip up.

"Go on," he prompts, leaning in slightly.

You huff. "I’ll do whatever you say for a day."

There’s a beat of silence. Then—his lips curve into the most smug, devilish grin you’ve ever seen.

"Deal."

For some reason, your stomach flips.

Not in fear, exactly. Not even in regret. Just... a strange, twisting anticipation.

Because suddenly, it feels like you’ve walked straight into a trap. And worse? Seungmin knows it, too.

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It happens so slowly, you don’t notice it at first.

Seungmin is still annoying. Still cocky. Still your biggest rival. That much hasn’t changed. He still argues with you over the smallest things, still shoots you that infuriating smirk whenever he thinks he’s won, still makes your blood boil with his unbearable confidence.

But between the constant fighting—the daily battles of debates—you start noticing other things.

Like the way his sleeves are always rolled up just enough to reveal his forearms, the faint lines of muscle shifting when he crosses his arms in thought. The way his hair is always a little messy, strands falling over his forehead no matter how many times he runs a hand through it. The way his eyes narrow in focus when he’s solving a problem, his lips pressing together in concentration.

The worst part? You start noticing the way he listens.

You’d never paid attention before—too caught up in outwitting him, in trying to win every argument—but now, it’s impossible to ignore. When you speak, he lingers, even when he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t just listen; he absorbs—eyes locked onto you like he’s committing every word to memory. And when he responds, it’s not just some offhand remark, but something precise, something that makes it clear he’s been paying attention all along.

And then—disaster strikes.

Because one day, you catch yourself watching him too long.

And liking it.

No. No, no. Absolutely not.

It’s just the bet. That’s all this is. It’s the tension, the competition, the high stakes—it’s the pressure messing with your head.

And yet—

Your mind betrays you. It replays moments you shouldn’t be thinking about. The way he leans back in his chair, one hand lazily twirling his pen as he listens to the professor. The way his fingers brush against yours when he hands you a paper. The way he laughs—not his usual sarcastic, teasing chuckle, but his real laugh, the one you heard once when a classmate made a joke during a study session.

And suddenly, you can’t focus on anything.

You try to study. You really do.

You sit at your desk, textbooks open, highlighter in hand. But the words blur together. Your notes are a mess, half-written sentences trailing off into nothing. Every time you try to focus on the formulas in front of you, your brain supplies an unwanted image instead—Seungmin, rolling his sleeves up with an absentminded tug. Seungmin, smirking at you in that insufferable way, like he knows exactly what’s going on in your head.

You grit your teeth, flipping to a new page.

Focus.

The derivative of—

But then, your mind wanders again.

What if he wins the bet? What will he make you do? He had that look when he agreed, like he already had something planned. Something terrible. Something—

You shake your head, pressing your palms against your eyes. Stop thinking about him.

You groan, shoving your textbook aside and dropping your head onto the desk. The wood is cool against your forehead, but it does nothing to stop the heat rising in your cheeks.

This is bad.

This is really bad.

Because if you can’t even get through one study session without thinking about him—without wondering what he’s doing, without replaying every glance, every moment—then maybe, just maybe…

You don’t hate him as much as you thought.

And that? That was enough to send you into a full-blown spiral.

────────────────────────────────────────

 You plummet. Your entire academic pride plummets into the depths of the earth's crust.

It happens in the worst way possible.

And yet again, it’s all because of another stupid point. Oh the irony of it all.

You stare at the exam results pinned to the bulletin board, your breath caught somewhere between disbelief and pure, unfiltered rage.

Seungmin: 98.

You: 97.

One. Stupid. Point.

Your eyes scan the numbers over and over again, as if willing them to change, as if maybe—just maybe—the universe will decide to correct its cruel mistake and add a point to your score. But the ink doesn’t shift, the digits don’t rearrange, and the truth remains exactly as it is: he won.

Your stomach twists violently, and it’s not just because of the loss itself. It’s because you know why this happened.

You should have destroyed him. Should have left him in the dust, made him eat his words, rubbed your victory in his smug, overconfident face.

But no.

Because every time you tried to study, every time you needed to focus, he was there. Not physically—but somehow, some way, he had taken up residence in your brain, completely rent-free.

You couldn’t get through a single study session without your thoughts drifting back to him.

First, it was frustration—the memory of his smirk, his relentless teasing, his over-the-top confidence grating at your nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

Then, it was distraction—the way he rolled his sleeves up without thinking, the way his hair fell over his forehead when he concentrated, the way he lingered when you spoke, like he actually cared about what you had to say.

And then—then it was something worse.

It was the way your heart had started reacting to him. The way your stomach twisted when he looked at you a second too long. The way a casual brush of his hand against yours sent electricity up your spine.

You failed yourself.

And now, you’re paying the price.

A shadow falls over you before you even turn around. You don’t need to turn around—you know who it is.

Seungmin.

You hear the soft exhale, the telltale pause before he speaks—the moment he takes just to soak it in, to savor the win before rubbing it in your face.

Then, his voice, light and taunting: "Oh, would you look at that," he drawls, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he leans against the board beside you. "Looks like I win."

You inhale sharply, pressing your nails into your palms. "One point," you grit out. ”One. "

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "A win is a win, sweetheart." Your entire body locks up. He hums, tilting his head. "Weird how that works, huh?"

Your eye twitches. "Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, you conniving little—"

"Careful," he interrupts, smirk widening. "Sounds like someone’s a sore loser."

You whip around to glare at him. "I am not a sore loser."

"Really?" Seungmin tilts his head, pretending to think. "Because I’m seeing a lot of loser energy right now. The crossed arms? The clenched jaw? The whole ‘staring at the board like you’re trying to change reality with your mind’ thing? Yeah, classic loser behavior."

Your nostrils flare. Once again glaring at him like he had personally murdered your future. "You act like you dominated me. You barely won."

He grins. "Still a win."

"Don’t get all smug over one point," you snap, crossing your arms. "If I had gotten one more question right, you’d be the loser right now."

"But you didn’t," Seungmin says, voice dripping with amusement. "And now? You’re mine for a day."

Your stomach flips. You shove past him, heat rising to your face. "Don't say it like that."

"What?" He follows you easily, his steps light, casual—like this isn’t the worst moment of your life. " if I recall correctly, you have to do whatever I say for an entire day."

You whirl back around. "What are you even going to make me do? Be your personal servant? Carry your books? Call you ‘Seungmin-oppa’ all day?"

He bursts into laughter, loud and unrestrained, and for a second—just a second—you forget you’re supposed to be furious. "Would you, though?" he teases. "If I asked?"

You gape at him, scandalized. "I would rather throw myself into traffic."

"Ah, and now you’re just—what? Embarrassed?" His voice dips, teasing but smooth, like he’s peeling back layers you don’t want him to see.

Your heartbeat stutters. "I am not embarrassed."

Seungmin watches you for a second, gaze sharp—too knowing. "You are," he says slowly, "because deep down, you knew I was going to win."

That—That is it. That is the final straw.

Before you can stop yourself, before your brain has time to process the absolute catastrophe about to occur, you snap.

You whip your head toward him, eyes blazing, fury bubbling up in your chest like an active volcano. "The only reason you won is because I couldn’t get through a single study session without thinking about you!"

The words spill out before you can stop them.

And just like that—

The world comes to a screeching halt.

The bustling hallway fades into static. Students chatter, lockers slam shut, footsteps echo down the corridor—but in this moment, in this exact second, the only thing you can focus on is the absolute horror settling in your gut.

Because you just said that.

Out loud.

To Seungmin.

Slowly—so, so slowly—he turns to face you, his eyes widening slightly, the usual cocky amusement flickering into something else.

You see the moment the words register.

The second he understands.

His lips part slightly, like he wasn’t expecting that answer, like he had been prepared for an insult, not an admission. And then—oh no. Oh no no no.

The shock melts away.

And in its place—

A grin.

The kind of grin that makes your stomach drop, that sets off alarms in your brain, that tells you you have just made the biggest mistake of your life. "What," he says, voice dangerously light, "was that?"

Your mouth opens—closes—opens again. Panic. Pure, undiluted panic surges through your veins.

"Nothing!" you blurt out, too fast, too desperate.

Seungmin lets out a soft, knowing laugh, tilting his head at you. His eyes are dangerous—not because they’re sharp, but because they’re gleaming. Because he knows.

"No, no, no," he muses, stepping closer, his tone practically dripping with amusement. "Say it again. You couldn’t study because you were—what? Thinking about me?"

You feel heat crawl up your neck, every cell in your body screaming at you to run.

"Shut up," you mutter, turning away, but he doesn’t let you off the hook that easily.

"You were, weren’t you?" His voice is teasing, but there’s something underneath it—something genuine, something warm. "You were so distracted by me that you lost."

"Shut. Up."

He chuckles, the sound soft but entirely too pleased with himself.

"Wow," he exhales, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "I knew I was distracting, but I didn’t realize I was that distracting."

You groan, throwing your head back before marching away, anywhere that isn’t here.

But Seungmin? Seungmin just grins.

Because this time?He knows.

And now? You are completely screwed.

[chichay7]

Between Mercy & Malice (CH. 1)

Pairing - Ominis Gaunt x Fem!Reader

Word Count - 4945

Content Warning - Lack of formatting? (someone help I beg) Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pain, Spiralling!Sebastian Sallow, Endearing Nicknames, Flashbacks, Ominis would burn down the world for you (and I love it), This is literally so self indulgent (I love yearning men)

Summary - Trapped in Salazar Slytherin’s Scriptorium, you, Ominis Gaunt, and Sebastian Sallow are forced to make an unforgivable choice—one that will leave scars far deeper than magic itself.

Author's Summary; my version of getting to Slytherin's Scriptorium, but with a bit more angst. Chapter 1 of 4 (maybe)

A.N. - I stopped writing years ago, but I don't see enough love for my boy Ominis. I'm an Ominis-girly through and through. I have an idea of how this ends but we'll also see how I feel lol. Please review/comment - they feed my motivation. Also I did write this instead of my thesis so like pls let me know if it was actually worth it

================================================

The air was heavy. Thick with dust and something far worse.

It curled in your throat, the scent of rot lingering long after you had already taken your next breath. The walls of the Scriptorium stretched high above, their looming presence pressing down like unseen hands, and yet somehow, the space still felt suffocatingly small. The light from your wand barely reached beyond a few feet, casting long, flickering shadows that made the darkness seem alive.

The silence was deafening.

And then you saw her.

Aunt Noctua’s remains lay crumpled before the sealed door, her bony fingers still outstretched toward salvation that never came. Her tattered robes, once fine, were stiff with age, pooled around her skeletal frame in a final, undignified heap.

Your stomach twisted.

But it wasn’t just her remains that caught your attention—it was what surrounded them.

The word Crucio had been carved into the stone, deep enough that the grooves were still sharp despite time’s best efforts to wear them away. It was jagged, uneven—done with a shaking hand.

And beside her, a wand.

Snapped in two. The broken edges blackened and burnt. A sign of how many times she had tried. How many times she had forced herself to endure.

And still, it had not been enough.

A breath hitched beside you.

Ominis.

His face was unreadable, but his cloudy eyes—usually so guarded—gave him away. A deep crease had formed between his brows, his lips parted slightly as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t. His pale irises, though sightless, moved as if trying to chase away the horrible images forming in his mind. His fingers twitched at his sides.

Sebastian stepped forward, his boots scraping against the stone. His gaze lingered on Noctua’s remains for only a moment before flicking toward the door. His expression hardened.

“So, this is it,” he murmured. “This is what happened to her.”

“She died here, Sebastian.” Ominis’ voice was quiet, but there was a tremor beneath it.

Sebastian didn’t look disturbed. He barely even looked concerned. “And do you know why?” His gaze flickered back to the word on the ground. “She hesitated. She wasted time. That’s why she—”

“That’s why what?” Ominis’ voice was razor-sharp.

Sebastian hesitated—only for a fraction of a second. “That’s why she didn’t make it,” he said, but something about the way he spoke made your skin crawl.

Ominis turned his head slightly. His expression darkened. “You pity her.” The words weren’t a question.

Sebastian scoffed. “I don’t—”

“You think she was weak.” Ominis’ breath came faster, something fraying at the edges of his composure. “You look at her, and you see someone who should have just gotten on with it, don’t you?”

Sebastian frowned. “Ominis—”

“Say it,” Ominis demanded, stepping forward. “Say what you’re really thinking.”

Sebastian clenched his jaw.

You could see the war in his head. He wanted to deny it. He knew he should deny it. But he didn’t believe it.

Ominis let out a slow, humourless laugh. “You’re disgusting.”

Sebastian’s expression flickered. Just for a second.

Then his face hardened. “I’m disgusting? You’re the one pretending she had a choice!” His voice was rising now, sharp with frustration. He gestured toward the word carved into the ground. “This was the way out. She knew it. And she still couldn’t do it.”

“Because she wasn’t a monster like you!” Ominis snapped.

The words cracked like a whip.

Sebastian’s expression darkened. His eyes held something dangerous, something wrong. His grip on his wand twitched.

“You’d rather we rot down here with her?” His voice dropped, quieter now, but far more dangerous. “You’d rather let Anne suffer, too?”

Ominis inhaled sharply.

You turned to Sebastian—really looked at him.

He was different. Paler. Sharper. His eyes were darker than they should have been, and there was something unsettling in the way he gripped his wand—his fingers twitching, restless.

Something was changing in him.

And Ominis saw it, too. He was gripping his own wand tightly, his knuckles pale. But he said nothing.

Sebastian took another step forward, closing the space between them. “I’m not going to let her suffer because you have a problem with what needs to be done.”

Ominis exhaled sharply through his nose. His shoulders rose—tensed—then, suddenly, he let out a slow breath.

The anger in his face faded.

Not into acceptance.

Into resignation.

“Fine,” he said.

Sebastian blinked. “Fine?”

Ominis straightened, tilting his chin up. “We cast it.”

A beat of silence.

Then, slowly, Sebastian smirked. “Finally. You’re—”

“But you will not touch her.”

Sebastian’s smirk faltered. His gaze flickered to you, then back to Ominis.

Ominis stepped closer. “You will curse me.”

Your breath hitched. “Ominis—”

His head turned slightly toward you. His brows furrowed, something tightening in his jaw. “I won’t let you take it.”

Sebastian exhaled sharply. “And you refuse cast it.”

“Exactly.” Ominis squared his shoulders. “That’s why you will do it. And you will listen to me. You will do it properly.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I know how to—”

“No, you don’t.” Ominis’ voice cut through the space like ice. “If you don’t mean it, it won’t work. If you hesitate, it will be worse.” He exhaled, voice dropping lower. “If you do it wrong, Merlin knows if you’ll be able to do it again.”

Sebastian didn’t respond.

Ominis took another breath. His hands trembled at his sides, but he didn’t step back.

“Do it right the first time.”

Sebastian lifted his wand.

Your heart pounded. You stepped forward before you even realized it. “Wait—”

Ominis turned sharply. “Stay out of this.”

You froze.

His expression was unreadable now, his pale eyes like ghostly embers in the dim light. His hands were still shaking.

But not from fear.

He was bracing himself.

Sebastian hesitated for only a second.

Then—

"Crucio."

====================================

You didn’t think.

You just did.

Before either of them could stop you, before Ominis could say another word, you threw yourself forward—toward him.

It was a desperate, instinctual movement. The force of it made your heart race as you curled your body around his, pushing him back with your arms, shielding him with your body—your back preparing to take the curse.

“Wait!” Ominis’ voice cracked, panicked and desperate, but it was too late.

Your eyes were already fixed on Ominis.

Sebastian hestitated. The curse shot from his wand with a violent crack.

The air itself seemed to bend, contort, twist around the curse as it rocketed toward you. The sound of it hitting the air was deafening—like a whip cracking, followed by a deep, unnerving hum of raw, unrelenting power.

But something was wrong.

The curse didn’t feel right.

The red lightning that arced from Sebastian’s wand was jagged—unnatural. It flickered in violent, erratic patterns, crackling around the room like it was searching for something to latch onto, something to devour.

It was more than just wrong. It was dangerous.

And then, in a flash of agonizing pain, it slammed into your back.

Your body seized.

It felt like the bones in your spine were being ripped out one by one. The pain spread, deep and searing, until every muscle in your body was burning. Your breath caught in your throat, suffocating you. It was like your entire body had been set alight from the inside, but the fire wasn’t the kind that could burn away your pain—it was the kind that tore you apart, piece by piece.

You couldn’t scream.

Your lungs refused to work.

The pain was suffocating. It pulled every breath from your body, leaving nothing but raw, unrelenting agony.

Your vision blurred. Every edge of your sight frayed and split, and the world seemed to distort around you.

But it was the sound that cut the deepest—the sound of your own voice, trying to scream, but only a horrible, strangled cry escaping your lips.

Ominis shouted something, but his voice was lost in the crackling chaos around you.

You could hear nothing but the storm that raged inside your chest, the writhing agony in your spine, the sickeningly sharp pain that seemed to dig deeper with every pulse of the curse.

Sebastian’s intent was wrong—too strong.

You felt the wrongness in every electric current that shot through your body.

Your back arched as if you were being pulled in two, the pain pulling you taut like a bowstring. The curse writhed, unrelenting, twisting deeper, tearing your insides apart with each vicious shock that sent ripples of red lightning across your vision. The crackling of the curse itself seemed to snap and crackle, like an unnatural storm roaring above you. It was as though the curse was alive—hunting you, tearing through you with no mercy, with no end.

You barely noticed Ominis’ frantic, shaking hands reaching for you, his fingers brushing against your arm. His touch was like fire, his body trembling violently with the effort to pull you away from the curse that was consuming you.

But it wasn’t enough.

The agony surged again, more intense than before, sending you collapsing forward, barely managing to keep yourself upright. Your entire body felt hollow. Numb. But the pain... the pain was far from over. It kept coming, wave after wave of agony so intense it felt like your body was splitting apart.

Your heart hammered. Your body screamed for mercy that would never come.

And still, Sebastian didn’t stop.

His expression was twisted, consumed by the power he had unleashed. His face was a grimace of frustration, his eyes locked on you—his focus now entirely on you, his rage growing with every second the curse refused to let go.

“Sebastian! Stop!” Ominis shouted again, but his voice was lost to the air around them.

Sebastian’s hand clenched tighter around his wand, his voice muttering curses under his breath, as though he couldn’t hear Ominis’ plea. His grip on the wand tightened, and the curse continued to pulse through with a brutal shock.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

The pressure inside you was unbearable, but Sebastian was too far gone—he was too consumed by his own anger and frustration, too deep in the darkness of the curse he had cast.

Ominis’ eyes widened in realization.

His lips twisted into something tight and furious, and with a single, furious motion, he cast Depulso.

The force of it hit Sebastian’s chest like a cannonball, sending him stumbling backward with a sharp gasp. His wand slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor, his concentration shattering as his wide eyes locked onto Ominis.

“What the hell, Ominis?” Sebastian growled, his confusion clear, his face flushed with irritation.

But Ominis didn’t care. His breathing was heavy, his anger clearly evident.

“What the hell? What do you mean ‘what the hell’? You just—” Ominis’ voice was strained, choked with fury as he stepped forward. “You nearly killed her, Sebastian. You—”

Sebastian blinked, still disoriented by the sudden force of the spell. “I—what? I was trying to—”

But Ominis wasn’t listening anymore.

His hands were shaking as he reached for you, pulling you into his arms. “Don’t you ever—” he started, but his voice cracked. His anger softened, replaced by something almost like desperation. “Don’t you ever do something like that again.”

Sebastian didn’t move, standing there with his eyes wide in confusion, his breath still ragged from his outburst. “Ominis… I didn’t mean—”

Ominis didn’t respond. His focus was on you now, his hand gently brushing the hair from your face, his eyes wild and desperate as he cradled you against him.

Sebastian’s face fell, realization starting to set in. He had pushed too far; gone too far down a path he was already walking.

But Ominis didn’t care for the explanation.

He was angry. Furious. Furious at Sebastian for the reckless violence of it all, furious at him for the danger he had almost put you in.

And he wasn’t willing to let it slide.

====================================

The stone wall rumbled with a low, deep groan, and then the crackling of ancient magic reverberated through the room. The wall split with a sharp, jagged sound, and the heavy stone blocks moved apart, revealing the passageway to Salazar Slytherin’s scriptorium. Dark, swirling shadows pulsed from the newly revealed entrance, as though the very air itself shuddered with the raw magic that lingered in this forbidden space.

Sebastian’s attention snapped immediately to the opening, his eyes narrowing with renewed determination. He began to step forward, but Ominis’ voice cut through the thick tension in the air like a whip.

“No.” The word was sharp, laced with a dangerous finality. His fingers curled into the fabric of your sleeve, gripping tightly as though to keep you tethered to him. “We’re not going in there.”

Sebastian hesitated, confused. “What? We came here for this, Ominis. We’ve got to finish this. The Scriptorium is right there.”

Ominis’ breath hitched, his chest rising and falling with barely contained anger. He could hear the desperation in Sebastian’s voice, but it only made his stomach twist further. His pulse quickened as he glanced down at you, the pain still evident in your features, and he cursed under his breath. His voice shook, though he tried to mask it with force.

“You’ve done enough,” Ominis spat, his words sharp like the crack of a whip. His grip tightened around your arm, and he shifted closer to you, his fingers trembling slightly. The sight of you still reeling from the curse gnawed at him. The fury swirled inside him, growing with every second.

Then, you stirred—slightly, as if to push yourself up, to stand despite the searing pain still running through your body. You grimaced, trying to brush it off as if you were okay, but the effort failed you. A strangled grunt escaped your throat, and your hands clenched at your side. The force of the agony made tears spring to your eyes, a sob escaping before you could stop it. Your body shook, unable to bear the pressure of movement.

Ominis’ breath caught in his throat. His heart clenched at the sight of you trying to push through the pain. His expression twisted into something fierce, though it quickly softened as he moved closer, his hands steadying you.

“Don’t.” Ominis’ voice was rough, but it softened slightly as he worked to soothe you, his fingers brushing over your skin with a care that belied his rage. “You’re not going anywhere. You hear me?”

The touch of his hand on your forehead was almost too gentle for the force in his voice. His trembling fingers continued their delicate path across your skin, the contrast stark against the fury that burned behind his eyes. He could feel the raw heat of your pain beneath the cloth, and it only fuelled the fire inside him.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he repeated, his words steady despite the storm raging inside him. “We’re not moving from here until you’re able.”

Sebastian, who had watched the exchange with growing concern, stepped forward once more, though his face was still clouded with confusion.

“I’m trying to help,” Sebastian said, his voice losing some of its earlier certainty, a bit of doubt creeping into his tone. He started to take a step forward, but Ominis immediately tensed.

“No,” Ominis snarled, his voice thick with barely contained fury. “You’re not helping, Sebastian. You’ve done enough.” His grip tightened around your arm, and he shifted closer to you, his fingers trembling slightly. The anger twisted within him, made more potent by his fear—fear of losing you, fear of what Sebastian’s recklessness had done to you.

He cast a quick glance at the newly opened stone doorway, his mind working furiously. He could feel the cold, oppressive magic of the scriptorium creeping through the air, but he couldn’t focus on that now. You needed him.

His hand snapped into his pocket, his fingers brushing over his handkerchief. With a muttered incantation, water erupted from the tip of his wand, and he quickly conjured a steady stream of it onto the fabric. Holding it against his trembling hand, he pressed the cool cloth to your forehead with a delicate touch.

Sebastian, watching from a distance, seemed to struggle with the unfolding situation. His brows furrowed, his lips pressing together in frustration. He opened his mouth to protest, but then his gaze flicked to the scriptorium again. The door, still open, seemed to beckon. There was no denying the pull of it, the promise of answers hidden within those darkened walls. But then his gaze slid back to Ominis—saw the fury in his posture, the raw emotion radiating from him. For the first time, a hint of uncertainty crossed his face.

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, taking a moment to compose himself. His voice dropped to something a little lighter, though the edge of urgency remained. “Hey, come on, you’ve got to admit, we’ve come this far. We can’t just turn back now, right?” He flashed a small, almost amused smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll help you, and we’ll sort this out together, yeah? The Scriptorium’s right there.”

He started to take a step closer to you, his hand outstretched, as though trying to coax you into moving with him, like nothing had happened. His tone was light, trying to make it sound easy—like you could simply walk into the scriptorium and leave the pain behind.

Before Sebastian could take another step, Ominis was already moving, quickly shifting from his position on the floor. His grip on your arm tightened, and with a forceful but careful motion, he lifted your head onto his rolled-up robe, using it as a cushion. His expression darkened as he placed himself in between you and Sebastian, his body tense, his blind eyes narrowing with barely concealed anger. His breath was shallow, his entire demeanour radiating a storm of emotion.

“You’re not going near her,” Ominis hissed, his voice dangerously low. His wand flicked, and its tip was aimed straight at Sebastian, a warning—sharp and unyielding.

Sebastian stared at Ominis for a long, tense moment, before smirking lightly. “Or else what?”

Ominis’ grip on his wand tightened, his fingers brushing against the cool surface of the wood. The tension in the air thickened, and his jaw clenched. He knew that if Sebastian pushed further, the situation would escalate beyond words, beyond warnings. The frustration—and something far more dangerous—radiated from Ominis as he stared down at Sebastian.

Ominis stepped forward, rising from his crouch, his body broad and solid despite his lean build. His height loomed over Sebastian, though the other boy was far more muscular. Still, Ominis had the advantage of reach and anger. His stance was one of quiet threat, every inch of his body vibrating with raw emotion. He towered over Sebastian, his blind eyes dark and sharp, betraying none of the hesitation that once might have softened his words.

His voice dropped low, the tension in his chest tight, his words a sharp warning. “Don’t ever try me again. You’ve done enough, Sebastian. Now stay the hell away from her.”

Sebastian’s face flickered with a mix of frustration and confusion. He took a half-step back, looking Ominis over, then back at the girl lying behind his friend. His lips pressed into a thin line, and his jaw tightened as he met Ominis’ unwavering gaze. He opened his mouth to retort but shut it again with a huff, clearly seeing that Ominis was beyond the point of reason.

Ominis didn’t give him another chance to argue. He stepped fully between Sebastian and you, his stance firm, his wand still held at the ready. “I won’t let you drag her into this any further,” he snarled, his voice trembling with the heat of anger. “Not while I’m still standing.”

The air was thick with tension as Ominis stared down at Sebastian, his wand unwavering. His gaze was a silent threat, an unspoken promise that anyone who tried to get closer to you would find themselves facing the full force of Ominis Gaunt’s fury.

Sebastian stared up at Ominis, unflinching, his eyes scanning the tall, lean figure of his friend—his once-trusted companion—who now stood between him and the girl they both cared about. His lips curled into a smirk, though there was no real humour in it. He tilted his head slightly, narrowing his eyes as he took in the storm brewing in Ominis’ posture. The space between them felt thick, charged with something far more volatile than the air around them.

“Or else what?” Sebastian asked, his voice light, though there was a hint of sarcasm that laced his words, as though he didn’t take Ominis’ threat seriously. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back slightly, a mocking glint in his eyes, trying to mask the unease that was beginning to creep in. “You really think you can stop me? I’m your friend, Ominis. You think this is about you and me now? Is this really the hill you want to die on?”

Ominis didn’t move at first. His wand was steady, the tip pointed directly at Sebastian as though it were a warning, but it wasn’t just the wand. It was everything about Ominis: the tense, broad set of his shoulders, the slow, deliberate way he stepped forward. The anger was practically visible, swirling around him like a storm, but it was more than that—it was disappointment that clawed at Ominis’ insides. It made him feel sick. It made his heart ache with the need to protect you.

Sebastian’s smirk faltered slightly as Ominis took that step forward, towering over him despite the smaller, more solid frame of Sebastian. The two of them were different—Ominis was taller, leaner, his body not as physically imposing as Sebastian’s, but there was no doubt Ominis had the upper hand in sheer presence right now. His rage seemed to fill the space between them, suffocating and heavy.

Sebastian let out a small, sarcastic laugh, though it lacked the bite it might’ve had just moments ago. He shifted slightly on his feet, clearly trying to read Ominis, sizing him up, as if searching for a way to defuse the tension or maybe to call his bluff.

“Oh, I see,” Sebastian said, his tone still light but now laced with a touch of defiance. “You think you can just stand there and stop me because I’ve upset you?” He raised an eyebrow, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Is that it? Ominis Gaunt, the one who always plays it so carefully, so calmly... suddenly making threats?”

The air between them crackled with rising tension as Ominis didn’t flinch, didn’t break eye contact. The depth of his silence spoke volumes, and Sebastian could feel the shift in the atmosphere—something darker, something more dangerous. He was still sizing Ominis up, but there was a distinct shift in his own stance now, his feet planted firmly. He was calculating, watching for any sign of hesitation. Still, he refused to be intimidated, refusing to show weakness.

But Ominis was unwavering. He took another step, his voice low, dangerous, vibrating with emotion. “Don’t.” It was more of a growl than a word. “You’ve done enough already, Sebastian.”

Sebastian's confident façade cracked just slightly. He was used to being the one in control, the one who took risks and challenged anyone who stood in his way. But there was something about the way Ominis stood, his posture firm, his blind eyes dark with something like fury that made Sebastian falter—just for a moment.

Still, Sebastian’s smirk didn’t disappear entirely. He was used to the tension, to the games they played, but this... this felt different. The intensity in Ominis’ gaze, the way the wand trembled ever so slightly in his hand—Sebastian could feel the rawness of it, the bite of the anger that Ominis had been holding back for far too long.

“You’re still my friend, Ominis,” Sebastian said, his voice softer now, but the sarcasm remained. He half-expected Ominis to lash out, to say something cruel, to give in to the storm within him—but Ominis didn’t. He just stood there, staring at him with such intensity that it felt like a challenge.

The silence between them grew, thickening with every passing moment. Sebastian felt his heart rate pick up slightly, though he didn’t let it show. He could tell Ominis was no longer just angry. There was something else—something more desperate, more personal. It was the same rage he’d seen in his friend��s eyes when something mattered so much, when it threatened the very core of what they’d once shared.

But Sebastian wasn’t backing down. He stood his ground, meeting Ominis’ unyielding gaze with a spark of defiance in his own eyes. He wanted to say more, to press Ominis to understand that they couldn’t just stop, but there was something in the way Ominis’ body was now squared against him—something in the air that made Sebastian pause, just for a moment. The tension was suffocating, a silent battle between their wills, between their understanding of what needed to happen next.

And then Ominis spoke again, his voice calm but dripping with authority.

“Stay the hell away from her,” he said, his voice low but filled with conviction. “You’re not needed here anymore, Sebastian.”

It was a threat, sure, but it was also an ultimatum. The meaning was clear. Ominis wasn’t about to let Sebastian anywhere near you, not while you were in this state, not while he could feel every fibre of his being screaming to keep you safe.

Sebastian didn’t move for a long moment, his gaze flicking over Ominis, reading him as if searching for weakness. But there was none to find. Instead, there was only the raw intensity in Ominis’ stance, the surety in his voice. And for the first time, Sebastian realized that Ominis wasn’t bluffing. There was no hesitation anymore. This wasn’t the same Ominis who had kept quiet and followed Sebastian’s lead. This was someone who was willing to fight for you—someone who had already decided where his loyalty lay.

Sebastian swallowed hard, but he didn’t back down. His smirk faded, and for a moment, he looked... unsure. A brief flicker of uncertainty passed through his eyes, but it was gone almost as quickly as it came.

The silence between them grew, and Sebastian, ever the one to break it with barbed words, leaned in slightly, his voice lighter, but with that unmistakable edge of provocation. “Once a Gaunt, always a Gaunt, right?” He let out a small, dry chuckle, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “All that noble blood running through your veins—just like them. It’s no surprise you’d turn out like this, is it? Condescending, self-righteous, always looking down on the rest of us.”

The words stung, though Sebastian’s voice was too casual for it to seem like anything more than a jab—one that had been waiting to be thrown for some time. His eyes were fixed on Ominis, watching for any sign of a reaction. He knew how to push, how to prod, how to expose the cracks beneath the surface of a person who had been raised with such heavy expectations. Ominis’ family wasn’t just a name—it was a curse, and Sebastian knew it, could see it written in every movement, every word Ominis had ever said.

But Ominis didn’t flinch. Not yet. His grip on his wand tightened, his hand shaking ever so slightly, though his posture remained unnervingly calm.

Sebastian took another step forward, his eyes glittering with that old sense of challenge. “Or are you just trying to surpress the Gaunt in you? Trying to protect the helpless one, because your family would never let you do anything else. Always playing the saviour, aren’t you? Always overcompensating for something rooted deep into you.”

Ominis’ breath hitched slightly, his jaw tightening at the insinuation. His hands clenched into fists, the weight of the accusation sinking into his chest. He could feel the blood rushing to his ears, the heat of anger rising in him like a wave.

But it was more than anger now. It was something else, something deeper. Something born from the years of having that name pressed upon him, of carrying the weight of what his family stood for. The endless expectations. The suffocating belief that he was meant for something darker. And now, here was Sebastian—poking at the old wounds, making it sting once more.

“I’m nothing like them,” Ominis muttered, his voice low, barely above a whisper. But there was a steeliness behind it now, a promise. “I won’t be like them.”

The tension between them thickened, wrapping around both of them like an invisible barrier, each word adding more weight to the words that had been left unspoken for far too long.

Sebastian’s lips twisted into a smirk, his words sharper now, digging deeper. “Sure, Ominis. Keep telling yourself that. But in the end, you’re just as much a Gaunt as they were.”

Ominis’ grip tightened on his wand, and he took a step forward, the movement slow but deliberate, his body a line of unyielding tension. “You know nothing about me,” he ground out, every word laced with fury.

Sebastian paused, a small flicker of surprise crossing his face, but he didn’t back down. “Maybe not,” he said with a shrug, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “But I’ve seen enough to know where your loyalties lie.”

[myaami]

"Dawn Again, on this Vibrant and Violent Night" Saiouma Paperback Book Giveaway is open!

Entry Form: https://forms.gle/gfcHac8HmZFFUkma7

Timing: March 1 - March 10, 2025, 11:59am ET

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Reposts would be appreciated!! Some more details under the cut.

Why I started this project:

Reading a physical, printed book is a very special experience. When I was younger, I printed out stories from ff.net, 3-hole punched them and clipped them into a binder, bringing them with me everywhere. Last year, I commissioned a hand-bound print of this story just for me. Now, I want to share that experience and joy and love with you, for readers who have already experienced this story, or for someone wanting to give it a try for the first time.

Even though I finished writing this 3 years ago, I feel like me printing and sharing this is something that I can do today to make a small difference, and hopefully make someone’s day if they need an escape and want a slow burn x murder mystery story.

Why I am only shipping to the US at this time:

My goal of this project has always been to get this book into your hands for free or as little cost to you as possible. I have never shipped anything “at scale" before, and as such, I want to ensure there are no issues, while fully covering the costs and following procedures within the US, where I better understand the shipping processes.

I would 100% love to figure out how to get the book into the hands of readers outside the US for a low cost, and to more readers within the US. I will continue to research this, and I ask for your patience.

What tools and services I used to create this:

I did the formatting and typesetting in the Overleaf LaTeX editor using a novel template that I then modified for margins and typesetting. I designed the cover in Clip Studio Paint, and used Mixam to print this as a zine. I’m more than happy to share my typesetting project files with other writers who are curious about my process!

Other questions? Please let me know! Thank you for your interest and support!

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

You had that one soulmate au for Cor/Nyx and I wonder how it would continue.

Because I think this is the first fic I've seen where it's Cor who wants to start the relationship and not Nyx. At least, that's the impression I've got from reading it - that Cor is willing to look for his soulmate, but Nyx really really doesn't want one.

Nyx is very, very conflicted about his soulmate. It's not that he dislikes the notion in general, just that his is a Lucian and a soldier? That's a fact that's hard to breathe around some days. So he would never seek them out on purpose.

Now Cor? Cor has always been to loyal and dutiful to Regis to leave and look for his soulmate. Because he would have to leave, since they're obviously not from Lucis. Galahd is far and not the friendliest place when it comes to being Lucian. For Cor it has always been 'there are more important things going on than looking for his soulmate'.

But once Cor knows they're close? That they're Kingsglaive?

Well

That's close enough to look. To at least know

Not that he has any real plan of approaching his potential soulmate, mind. He's very aware of the fissures of tension running between the Kingslglaive and everyone else.

[sulfies]

If I Lead (pt1)

"You have to be fucking kidding me..."

He really thought the whole Isu shit was behind him. The world burned and his job was done. Nearly all of 7 billion people dead, but at least not under an evil Godesses whim as slaves. He was doing as he was told, he was leading the people out of the doom he inflicted upon them and helping them rebuild. 

His job with all the Apples and Isu bullshit should be done! So why did his eyes open in the sanctuary of Monteriggioni out of all the fucking places. 

"That's what I get for touching that damn shit!" 

He should have left it fucking alone, it was perfectly fine where it was! Hidden under rubbles and sand in a half-collapsed cave Desmond ventured in to map out to see if there was any underground water source. 

He had found a gorgeous cenote in the depths of the cave with fresh water, which was all fun till he noticed an all too familiar golden sheen at the bottom of it. 

He should have turned around and left the place, fuck the Isu's, fuck the apples fuck everything.

"FUCK!" 

He kicked the base of one of the statues. His voice echoed in the stone room.

He just had to dive in and get it, didn't he. He was conditioned like a dog. Like a Pavlovian itch, he swam into the depths just to touch it.

"Because why not huh, maybe it can help us, maybe I can learn something from it" He mumbled to himself in a mocking voice "God I am so fucking stupid! I should have left it alone." 

He knew nothing good came out of any Isu artifact! He knew it yet he still touched it and now he was here after the all too familiar light show he experienced.

He squatted on his knees, holding his head in his hands. "I am way too old for this"

He raised his head and took a look around. This place did not change at all. Even in his forties, this place was always fresh in Desmond's mind like a second home and nothing had changed at all. 

He wiped his face with a palm and shook his head. Alright...He was in Italy now. 

He had to figure out how to get back.

Thankfully Shaun and Rebecca could perfectly handle the camp while he was away but he was already a month late from his exploration and now who knows how long it would take for him to get back. Few months with a boat? That is if he could find one.

"Good job Desmond, you fucked up once again" he sighed and got up, hearing his knees crack. 

He scratched his beard and looked toward the stairs that led to the main exit. "Let's hope the fires and the rubble didn't block the exit, again"

He did not want to do the parkour thru the caves again. Especially the part where he had to swim in that slimy water.

But this place looked fine, even better than the last he remembered which did surprise him but maybe it was that well built.

He looked at Altaïr's statue, not one crack showed on his whole build. The Master Mentor of all standing proudly as always, he laughed painfully. "Things were weirdly simpler back then huh... You probably would not have failed." 

He pursed his lips in a thin line and turned back to the stairs to try the door. His hands found the mechanism easily enough, just as he was wondering if the mechanism inside survived the heat, the door slid open smoothly. 

Way too smoothly.

The hair on his arms stood up as Desmond's eyes met with the Monteriggioni villa in the night air. No destruction in sight.

"No..." 

He walked through the door as his boots met with the polished tiles underneath. His hands touched the soft fabric of the curtains. He saw the desk in the study littered with papers like someone was going to come back to it come morning. 

His head turned to the right to see the codex wall... Some pages already pinned down onto the board, more than half incomplete but on the right track.

Desmond felt the sweat drip down his back,  he breathed in harshly. 

"What the fuck..."

He really should not have touched that devil's orb. 

—-------

Once the reality actually sank in, he could not have run out of the villa faster. 

He opened the window closest to him (the glass was still intact) and hopped out to the courtyard (the healthy grass under his boots squished) and booked it. He ran into the woods (there were trees!) till his breath ran out then he ran some more. 

This had to be a joke, no matter what, he had to be seeing a vision or something. Maybe his bleeding hit him hard this time and he was hallucinating this whole thing... He had to be.

Desmond slowed down to stop at the forest once he came to the hill edge. He choked a shocked sob.

There in all its glory, the village of Monteriggioni stood in front of him. All the buildings standing up with no rubble nor the damage of the flare around. 

The sun, like a big fuck you to him only, was making its way out of the peak of the mountains slowly as torches around the buildings were illuminating the dark roads in between houses the light had yet to reach

Desmond crouched down activating his sight. Hundreds of grey figures came into his view, many of them asleep in their bed and Desmond couldn't hold his eyes from watering. He listened intently to hear some drunkards walk the street blabbering and singing to themselves as they went home. He heard the merchants and workers shuffle around their homes getting ready for the day.

He let out a shakey breath and fisted the grass under his hand. It has been a while since he saw this... 

It used to feel like such a small place when he first reached this town, the village in contrast to New York seemed like nothing…

Now, after the flare. It was insane to see this many people in one place like this again.

A boat was not going to be enough to take him back home.

—-------------------

Desmond had to be quick before the town really woke up, he was already scouting the rooftops and wires people hung their clothes on to for stuff that would suit his frame. Hopping one rooftop to another he was biting his cheek to stop himself from the slight grin that wanted to get out of him.

He had missed this. 

There were no rooftops left to climb after the flare, no buildings to scale. No points to jump off of not even trees. It had all burned away and dammit his body has missed this.

He snatched a few garments that looked roughly his size from the wires he crossed by and hopped into a rooftop garden. 

He needed to wipe the smirk off of his face...

He would have killed to be able to visit Ezio’s time before, to run these streets again, but now all he could think was; how fucked it was that he was finding a sliver of joy in this while people back at home were probably battling to stay alive as always.

He was supposed to lead them, he was too much of a pussy to save them all before the least he could do was rebuild them as well as he could as they have told him to. 

And now he was gone. All because this time he couldn't keep his hand to himself. 

He sat in the rooftop garden looking through the clothes he picked and judged their size. Truth be told at this point they were in better condition than the clothes he had on at the moment. 

He took off the scarf and the threadbare jacket and sat with his hoodie on… He could not get rid of that damn thing no matter what. It had way too many memories to him, especially after the flare where it was one of the only things left from before. 

He was attached to the damn thing even if it was holding together mostly with patches these days, stitches jutting out of the clean hems of the cloth where it had gotten town again and again. 

He took it off but stuffed it down his backpack Rebecca had found in a surviving underground bunker and gifted it to him for his 30th birthday. It was faux leather so it would not look that much out of place he decided.

He shed his shirt and pants next, shivering from the chilly air. Quickly putting on the doublet and the vest then he fumbled with the pants for quite a while… 

“I need to figure out better shoes” He had grabbed a pair he saw sitting outside on a windowsill, probably the owner had left them to dry out overnight, thinking it was high up enough for anyone to not be able to steal.

But they were too small for comfort, a week in these and his feet would be ruined. He threw on his backpack and gathered his pants, shoes and shirt in his arms. He had to burn these somewhere.

He jumped out of the garden and made his way to the outside gates before the town started its routine.

—----------

As he made it to the clearing just outside of the walls, Desmond breathed in the clean air. No smell of char reached his nose. It was wild… after twenty years of inhaling the slight burnt smell of the world, all he smelled now was the fresh air.

He found a less grassy spot and piled the clothes on, retrieved his flint from his backpack pocket.

As the fire burned the only clothes he had for a while he listened to the birds chirp. Those were gone as well, as most of the animals were. Only the ones lucky enough to be near an artifact at the time had survived. Shaun had come up with the theory.

Once again the sense of peace he felt was quickly replaced by his guilt. He rubbed his chest, it ached with every memory. He didn't deserve to see all of this. Not when he was the sole cause of that madness people back home were subjected to daily. 

Twenty-plus fucking years he tried to make up for his mistake. He found whoever he could and took them back to their camp. He gathered whatever he could, and used every bit of the knowledge he gained from the apple to lead what was left into a better place, and now he was gone.

Abandoned them to their fates on a random weekday.

Because he could not keep his hands to himself.

He rose up from where he stood and kicked in the dirt to smother the ambers. Watching them sizzle down.

He had to find a way to get back… If a piece of Eden took him here, it could and should take him back.

—----

He needed to figure out what year it was first, and where Ezio was. 

Not to meet him of course, If all went well he would never see the man and no one here would know he even took a step in this time.

But he needed to know where Ezio was so he could know where the apple was. 

Since Monteriggioni was standing perfectly intact, it was before he embarked to Rome. The codex pages were just starting to get collected so he would have been quite young. This meant the apple was barely even on his way to Venice on a ship…

“Shit, he must be what… 25-27 at best?”

God…. Thats so young, was he even officially initiated yet? If the age he guessed is right Ezio should be in Venice, either with the thieves or the courtesans… he needed to know the date to be sure.

Ezio did not even know of the apple's existence yet probobly.

He so wished he could just go where the ship was right this very moment and get to the apple but truth be told his memory of Ezio’s life after 20 years of apocalypse wasn't too fresh on his mind… So even if he knew the date It wasn’t like he could sail on a vessel and interrupt the ship alone.

Which meant Desmond had to track the apple at the same time as Ezio. 

—-------------

Desmond sat on top of one of the watchtowers near the walls, watching the town come alive as people went about their day. It was overwhelming yet he couldn't tear his eyes away. 

To think he lived in one of the most populated cities before, and now seeing 500 or less people in one spot made him nauseous with awe. So many mouths to feed, so many resources to find….

He looked away,

these people weren't his commune. He wasn't responsible for them but he couldn't shut his mind up. 

It felt unreal, like in any moment he was going to blink and this was going to reveal itself to be a one extreme bleeding episode.

He did still have those, but he knew they were never like this.

After decades of living with it, he knew what a bleed felt like. They rarely caught him off guard nowadays unless he was having particularly bad days.

But this wasn't one.

[trashwithvariety]

I'm writing Emmrich's pov rn and listening to When She Smiles by Gigi Perez girrrrrrrrl

the way this man yearns

I'm reaching into my own chest to rip my own heart out for him

ITSBEENTWENTYYEARSANDGODTHEYEARN

y'all will find out soon

[halojalex]

the more i read multi-chaptered fics, especially slow burn ones, the more i feel like i lose faith in my own chaptered fic that i have yet to even start

like i don't mean this in a self-pitying way, i just feel like i don't have enough motivation to write it as well as some of the other slow-burn fics i read. it's not even like i don't like the premise, like i feel as though it could be really good if written well, i just don't have the motivation to even start it

[allthegoodusernamesaretakenagain]

me, giggling and kicking my feet as i write the next chapter, knowing the slow burn is finally burning, we have hit the Will They/Won't They Era, and the geurdo desert segment is coming up.

49 chapters and 185,101 words later.

[sorenlionheart]

i am dangerously close to making my own interpretation of superman